To want to write a cryptic Facebook status about selfish bitches?!

[MrsJen3]

FUMING. My mum is 70 this year, hadn't made any set plans but she was hoping her family and friends would drop in to see her on the day and she would do buffet type food and drink and I was planning on making a birthday cake for her. We, as in her immediate family, were then taking her for a meal in the. evening.
My aunty has a daughter who is visiting from Australia (for about the third time in two years)for a couple if weeks either side of my mum's birthday. My aunty has booked a venue for a surprise welcome home party for her daughter on the exact day of mum's 70th birthday!
This upset my mum a little but I said never mind you'll still get to see everyone and I'll ask aunty if we can bring the cake and sing happy birthday to you there.
I just asked and she set word for word "I'll tell you what you just all carry on with your own plans for the day I won't mind that you are not there".
What a fucking bitch! I just said ok and hung up but I am FUMING and want her and the rest of the family to know that I think she is an utter bitch. A cryptic message on FB will do the job nicely - should I or should I leave it_

I've said it before and I'll say it again...Families..they can be the biggest pain in the arse!

Don't write a cryptic message.

Write a really in your face blatant one and then tag her

I would carry on then.
I would send texts, emails, Facebook thing, calls etc to everyone to say hope to see you at X to celebrate mums 70'th.
Not every year you turn 70 after all.

When aunt calls you out. Remind her you had tried to merge the two but she wasn't interested.

Are you friends with your cousin on facebook?

It won't show anyone anything about your aunt, it'll just show people that you're a twat who does twatty statuses.

YANBU for being angry though!

But just because your aunty is being a bitch doesn't mean you have to turn into one. Have dignity and that'll eventually shine through xx

What is the problem though? You have some vague notion that everyone your mother knows will pop in throughout the day, without any actual invites, for some kind of rolling buffet? And you think they won't because someone else in the family is having a surprise party in the afternoon?

Both plans are beyond odd. But since theirs is an actual plan that presumably they have told other people about, and yours is an incredibly vague non-plan, and your actual plans are for an evening meal anyway that is entirely unchanged by their party, what difference does it make anyway?

Can't you all have a joint welcome home/ 70th birthday party?

My family had a joint Engagement/ going away party, it was great.

penguin, I swear you just pop up on AIBU to disagree with whoever is posting. I've never once seen to agree that someone isn't BU. It's always some attempt to deliberately not see what the issue is.

OP, YANBU. This sounds very deliberate. It also sounds like people were Aware of your mum's plan for the buffet. Is your aunt jealous that your mum will be getting attention perhaps? It's odd. Why does it need a welcome home party on that exact day? Did she throw welcome home parties the other 2 times her DD came home?

I wouldn't go down the FB route, although I'd be sorely tempted too! I'd message your aunt saying she is being incredibly selfish to overshadow and take the limelight from her sisters 70th birthday and she can throw this party anytime over the 2 weeks. Then get in touch with as many people as possible and find out just who is going to your mums. Explain the situation to them if you need to (and I definitely would).

2nds did you actually bother to read the OP? It quite clearly states the OP tried this and the aunt didn't respond well. It's the whole basis for the AIBU.

Don't hide behind a cryptic status. Tell it how it is, if it's bothering you

The thing is about cryptic messages is that you make all your FB friends paranoid and defensive and it makes them wonder if it's them you're pissed off with. The person you're actually pissed off with will either not get it or not see it or not change their behavior, so it's pointless.

I can see why you're annoyed though. But firm your plans up and actually tell people you're having an open house drop in otherwise you'll have a stale buffet and an empty house.

Say it to the person involved or forget it. Cryptic FB status' are absolutely pathetic and childish.

Penguin, drop-in open house rather than everyone at once parties are not uncommon.

It is a real invitation, even if it's verbal. It is a real party, even though it's staggered. I've been to a few like that, they're nice, you pop in, have some nibbles, and leave without getting stuck in a corner hearing about someone's previous and next cruise holiday for hours! Much more civilised.

It's really not a hard concept to grasp, and a great way to see people because if they're not all decending on you at once, you get to actually CHAT to everyone. I've been invited to 3 such drop in parties in the last 2 months!

Have I got this right... Cousin is back for a few weeks then on the date of your mum's birthday there's a surprise Welcome Home party (for someone who has been back for a few weeks already) and then after a few more weeks cousin goes back to Oz?

What's the point of the party?! If it was a genuine surprise surely it would be imminent on her arrival?

Get invitations sent out for your mum's 70th buffet asap!

The problem Penguin is that it's bloody bad form to book a party for the exact afternoon of your sisters 70th birthday when you know full well that your family normally drop into ( for a good couple of hours) the birthday persons home and gather to celebrate - no invite, just word of mouth because that's how it's done in our family.

You may notice my original post does not actually seek opinion on what people think about the plans but you decided to give your unsolicited opinion anyway - rather rudely in my eyes.

I'm not quite sure why either of the plans are "beyond odd" though? An afternoon party is because there are a lot of elderly relatives and they prefer to celebrate in the afternoon. And the informal drop in because, as explained above, that's how we do things.

I hope this meets with your approval? Actually I couldn't give a shot if it does or doesn't.

Haha shot - look at that as a polite way of saying shit

Stiffstink - you have it spot on and mum is no longer going ahead with her plans.

I've reported that penguin. How unpleasant you are. Ignore the GF OP, it's not the first time.

That's so sad your mum is not going ahead with her plans. I'd see if you can get as many family members as possible to come to a meal that afternoon instead, your aunt's party can do one tbh.

No penguin, I'm happy to take the flack about my initial instinct to post on FB, and have done without complaint. However, I did not ask for comments on my family's plans, especially rude comments.

As has been pointed out up thread by other posters you seem to be known for being a trouble causer, you sound like a dick

Ring Aunt up and give her hell. Get rest of family lined up for party at yours for your mum. 70 is too special not to celebrate. Could you get cousin on-side?

And penguin, if you must comment please take the time to read my post properly first - my family are not coming to party with me, it's my mother's 70th birthday.
In your haste to be nasty you clearly missed that important point.