To think there's no way he can be hungry

[SlapACatFuckADuck]

Ds is 4 everyday we have the same discussions regarding food today for example he woke at 9:30 (didn't have nursery) we go downstairs i give him breakfast.

He eats all his breakfast puts the bowl in the kitchen and immediately wants lunch I of course say no. He then goes on continuously about how he "wants to eat" "I want lunch" "I'm hungry" "I want my sandwich" this has gone on for an hour and a half! when he gets lunch at lunch time the cycle repeats itself apart from it's not dinner because he doesn't like dinner he wants lunch as soon as he's finished his dinner the "he wants to eat" chorus pipes up again until bedtime where he will continue to go on about lunch until he falls asleep with the occasional check in that "you will give me lunch tomorrow right mum?"

I have no idea what his obsession is about lunch but inbu right? The kid can't possibly be hungry all the time especially after he's just eaten

" I also really believe that all those who say their dc are eating multiple bowls of cereal, toast and yogurts will get fat if they're not already.

There are so many overweight kids around and their parents don't see it."

Oh sod right off! I was one of the posters who said this. My kids are nowhere near fat and I'm not blind. I can feel DS's ribs ffs. He is incredibly fit and constantly on the go so he gets very hungry. As a child who was starved (literally) by my parent I'm not going to limit my children to 1 small bowl of cereal because other people think anything more is making them fat.

The only fat children I know are the ones who dig into to huge amounts of sweets after breakfast, eat a diet of total crap and eat 5 or 6 junk food things after their tea. And eat to the point that a child with a normal diet who tries to keep up with their eating is sick because is it so much food. I'll take my chances with cereal/toast, fruit and yoghurt if my children are saying they are hungry.

Clever I don't mean that, and of course if they're having a big breakfast then smaller tea like a pp has just said then that sounds fine.

I can think of a few people in rl I know with very overweight 8 year olds, not chubby toddlers that are eating multipacks of yoghurts and 3rd helpings of dinner and the parents think they're fine.

Yes I realise that sounds hypocritical considering I've just accused others of being armchair nutritionists.

" I also really believe that all those who say their dc are eating multiple bowls of cereal, toast and yogurts will get fat if they're not already

You can believe this all you like, you're still wrong.

Well my dh was a very skinny child and wasn't given loads of sweets, but he was given huge portions for meals and second, and third helpings. Not particularly terrible food.

Now he's an obese adult. He hasn't got a sweet tooth he's just been trained to eat too much food.

I wouldn't limit a child to a small bowl of cereal either.

This is Ds. He's not far I don't think?!

We're going to do some baking and I'll ask him why he likes sandwiches so much

Fat* not far

How much does your DS drink? Has this always been the case? Please be aware that an undiagnosed type 1 diabetic may eat loads and crave very sugary foods. It probably isn't, but if it was, then don't miss it

Penguin you can't really predict the future.

Impossible to say as he's wearing baggy clothes. His arms looks chunkier than DD's but that doesn't mean anything.

If it's he just prefers lunch food then sandwiches for breakfast is fine.

But my dc, even the one who never ate used to have I'm hungry as a distracter/attention getter.
It's amazing how hungry they can be nay really starving when I utter the magic words "it's bedtime" or ask them to get into the car or put something away.
I found,especially dd1 at preschool age, that they'd use I'm hungry as a filler between doing something and deciding what to do next.
So I wouldn't respond to the first "I'm hungry" unless it was a reasonable time to be hungry.
I'd find something for them to do. If they still said they're hungry they had the option of fruit, milk drink or sandwich. Amazingly for children that were totally starved often they were only really chocolate biscuit hungry.
The older ones are now teens and I can trust them to help themselves to something sensible if hungry. Usually.

He looks a healthy weight OP.

It can be difficult to see when children are overweight because they are built so differently to adults. What is overweight on a child can look normal on an adult and so sometimes it's difficult to tell. I didn't realise this but I remember a thread a few years ago where a MNer was upset at getting a letter from school saying their DC was overweight after a school check up and they posted below shoulders pictures and many MNers were surprised this child was considered medically overweight, because they didn't look at all "fat".

That said I don't think children generally become overweight from eating to hunger unless they have a medical condition. It's when they are having a lot of sugary snacks, fizzy drinks, and little exercise that it normally becomes a problem. That might be related to the whole family lifestyle or it might be due to parents giving in to requests inappropriately. And presumably some DC like some adults are predisposed to easy weight gain whereas some are not.

It is a minefield but certainly, OP, from what you have described he would be fine to have more food across the course of the day and I don't think weight is an issue you need to be concerned about in this case. He could stand to eat a LOT more and still be okay.

You are not meant to limit fat in children under 5? I.e. no low fat, don't fill with fruit to keep fat down etc.
There was a bit of a scare about it at a previous place I worked who embraced healthy eating too much and it turned out we weren't giving enough calories for the tinies - too much fruit. Around the Jamie Oliver hype time.

I also really believe that all those who say their dc are eating multiple bowls of cereal, toast and yogurts will get fat if they're not already

yeah my parents thought this too. I was underweight as a child then had a mild ED. because if you eat to much you WILL get FAT!!! Dangerous nonsense.

Also the idea of eating a lot of healthy stuff = training for obesity.

Theorising excessively/ruling portions or making choices based on forum gumf will, however, be quite likely to create one of the above results.

I think that your ex didn't feed him regularly and he's developed anxiety around not getting enough food. You said your ex doesn't eat much and can't cook, so is it possible he doesn't realise how much a child needs to eat? Maybe he just gave him crisps or snacks when he was hungry, and not proper 'lunches'?

From what you said he's slim, but hard to tell from the photo. Give him a bit more to eat, and see if it helps.

definitely not fat!

i would challenge some of the parents here to walk home from school after a day with gym pre-school and PE during school and running around the playground at lunchtime and breaks and then bounce on a trampoline non-stop for half an hour before going off to ride their bike/scooter/whatever or simply bounce around the house never stopping moving. i don't think any of us would manage it full stop let alone manage it on child size portions of carbs, lean protein and fruit and veg.

christ i can't bounce on a trampoline for more than a few minutes without needing to catch my breath (won't even go into the pelvic floor issues ) let alone do it for half an hour plus after a busy day.

the kids i have seen who are plump tend to eat a lot in combination with VERY sedentary lifestyles being driven everywhere, sitting in front of the telly/screen literally the whole time they're not in school and being served meals the size of an obese adults meal on top of a ton of snacks and crap.

most obese children seem to have obese parents who have lost touch with what is a healthy portion size for a large adult let alone a child.

also bear in mind using that much energy plus sleeping for larger portions of the day than adults requires a more little and often approach to energy.

as in they have less hours to pack their energy requirements into and they are using much more energy than us (or should be) through activity AND growth etc so need regular intakes of energy to cope with that and to fit the food needed into a shorter awake time

Ok for example. On Sunday ds had a cooked breakfast, then a roast lunch which consisted of lamb, 2 types of potato, 6 types of veg, ds had unlimited food and ate as much as he wanted. We went straight to visit relatives and he immediately started telling them he was starving. Why? Because he knew they'd give him sweets.

It's very unhelpful when your child does this for people to start telling you you're starving the poor mite. When actually it's just habit/food association.

No I'm not going to let ds eat 4 slices of toast when I'm cooking a meal that he will eat, if he hasn't filled up on toast.

And no op he's not fat looks perfect my post wasn't aimed at you or at anyone in particular.

I agree with you schnoo, I think this need to eat constantly is not to do with being hungry but because of something that has triggered some anxiety and eating is a way of comforting himself. He may have not fed enough while the OP was away for 4 weeks in hospital and this has exacerbated the need to keep asking for food and knowing that his mum will definitely feed him tomorrow.

I'd probably agree that a bit more protein & slow release carbs wouldn't go amiss, but where children and food are concerned, my first thought is always that it may come down to attention. I notice that you say that after breakfast the asking for food goes on for an hour and a half. This means he has your attention and is " calling the shots" for the best part of two hours ( including time taken to eat two meals).

At 4, he should be able to recognise " rules", so I'd say that "we have a new house rule, we only eat at mealtimes or snack times and the new rule starts tomorrow."

Then I'd suggest adding some ham and/or cheese wholemeal sandwiches and perhaps some fruit to breakfast as well as the cereal. If he says he's still hungry, perhaps offer more wholemeal bread or toast.

If the asking for food begins again, a firm " Remember our rule?", said only once should work.

Same procedure after lunch & dinner, & loads of praise if he follows the rule.

If he is a bit hooked on sugar (and the foods listed way back near the start of the thread are high in sugar or simple carbs), then he may well crave high sugar foods and feel 'hungry' for them but not better foods.

Loads more protein, loads more complex carbs, far less sugar/simple carbs..

Give him cheesey scrambled eggs on whole grain toast, with some ham, a yoghurt (live, not filled with sugar, avoid the 0 fat ones they are packed with sugar) and a piece of fruit for breakfast.

Make sure when he has sandwiches, they are mostly filling and very little bread - thin sliced bread or medium sliced, rather than thick sliced or big fat rolls/buns - fill them up with ham, egg mayo, cheese, etc rather than a single slice of ham or a thin layer of cream cheese..

Just don't have crisps, biscuits etc in the house - if they are not there, they are not an option, end of.

Make him a clock with meal times and snack times marked on it, so he can clearly understand EXACTLY when these will happen.

I would change the rules on a day when you and he are super busy with things that will engage and distract him, because if he IS craving sugar and his blood sugars are rocketing and crashing, the first few days of having much less sugar are going to be pretty hard for him.

I don't understand why you haven't just offered him more food if he says he is still hungry? I was told with my first child that even at age 4 they should still be having 2-3 healthy snacks a day in between meals as they are growing so much and are usually always on the go so use the energy up pretty quick! Also, protein is best for helping to keep you feeling full after breakfast so something like scrambled egg on toast with a piece of fruit is ideal and much better than a bowl of cereal or just toast on its own!

If he is still hungry let him have more, you should never restrict a child's food ( so long as it's healthy!)
Doesn't he get snacks between meals? You mentioned breakfast, lunch and dinner, that isn't enough for a growing child, there should be at least 2 snacks squeezed between meals and supper.
If a child is in bed saying he is hungry and wanting reassuring that he is going to get lunch the next day then I suggest you feed him more until he is full.
My 2.5 year old, she has a bowl of shreddies in the morning and 4 rounds of toast, 2 hours later she will wants a snack, she will have a yoghurt and pear, then lunch with pudding, then snack, then dinner with pudding ( most puddings being healthy) and toast and cereal for supper.
She only weighs 26lbs so she isn't a huge kid.

I take it you two haven't rtft...