Fathers and their 'shotgun' jokes

[sandfish]

Men with daughters, can we retire the shotguns? It is getting tiresome.

I keep hearing the 'old chestnut' jest from men with young daughters, where they get a laugh from making comments about imagining threatening future boyfriends with a shotgun, presumably to make sure they get 'treated right'.

Last heard in the queue to pick my son up from reception class.

This annoys me on a profound level. Here's why.

My Dad taught me to make decisions, assess character and make choices, respect myself and have high standards. Granted, teenagers don't always have great judgement but need to be allowed to make some mistakes in order to learn. My dad didn't own me, when I got married he didn't give me away and he never gave my boyfriend crap and thank goodness for that, since I married him. I would have been furious if my Dad had tried to interfere in my life in that way.

She may be your little girl now but she's going to grow up to be an independent, strong and wise woman - don't you want that?

Secondly how does this work if we reverse things. So as a mother of small boys is it OK for me to say in the queue to pick up 5 year olds - "His first girlfriend better not break his heart or she will have me and my shotgun to deal with. See how she likes that - BITCH. Hahaha!" Do these guys want to hear me threaten their daughter in future? Would that be even remotely acceptable?!

Most parents feel very protective of their children especially when small. I get that. I do too. I feel pretty protective of my sons who through no fault of their own may meet one of these dickhead fathers in future and I hope to God none of them actually own a shotgun. I'm working on bringing my boys up to respect girls and women, and treat all people equally and well, with kindness and consideration, all without the use of threats of violence, humourous, passive-aggressive or otherwise.

I don't think threatening teen children with violence and fear is funny. But my sense of humour has always been a little mainstream, my personality bordering on the earnest. So what do you all think? Is it just 'banter' or a pile of crap that needs challenging? If you don't like it, can you think of a witty or blunt rejoiner for next time?

YANBU. Unfortunately some women are so used to hearing this type of crap, probably from their own fathers and partners, they become immune to it.

YANBU, I agree with you OP. I have to pull my DH up on it every time he mentions it (about twice a year)., mentioning the things you've written. Things is, he isn't sexist the test of the time

I really dont see the problem unless they were actually serious!

It may have stemmed from long ago when you literaly had to protect your daughters reputation or they were ruined for future marraige but now its just an old 'father' joke with the underlying meaning that anyone who hurts their daughter will be dealt with. Nobody actually thinks they will go shoot them if they are late home!

Every parent wants to protect their child male or female. Lets face it, whether its pc or not to admit it, most parents do not want their child to be having sex in the back of a car with the first boy that takes her out on a date, I wouldnt have a problem in emphasising this to a boy if I had daughters. And I will bring up my boys to respect girls/women too with as much seriousness as I would with girls.

Its kind of a right of passage for men with daughters isnt it? It doesnt mean they 'possess' them (nor their wives) just that they want to protect them. Shock horror they may even have a sense of humour and say it tongue firmly in cheek?

I have heard lots of men say that their daughters arent getting out until they are 30! Should I call social services? Its all just banter. They have perfectly normal relationships with their much loved daughters.

this is quite funny, its just a regular dad who has waited a long time for this and for the professionaly offended stay till the end... he flips it around

OP please accept this

Curren, I take it you are a man.
Women wouldn't have a hobby that involved those weapons, unless of course you are a magicians assistant

Not a magicians assistant. I am a member a knife and axe throwing club member (just for fun) and I compete in several martial arts......and shock horror a female!!

Well I think it's all a bit of a lighthearted joke about being over protective over your children.
Your choice to overanalyse it, which you have taken to do so!

However it reminded me of a photo on Facebook of my friends dds christening with the dad holding the baby daughter.
Someone has commented "looks like he's thinking "you hurt my daughter then I'll hunt you down and die". Friend has commented "hehe think you're right."
I was actually thinking "dad looks like his suit is 4 sizes too small and is in pain with the waistband digging in, wondering when the fuck he can get home and take the ugly shiny suit off. That's probably what the mean and surly expression is about "