To feel like I'm neglecting my baby

[MadAboutFourteen]

I have a 3 month old and I'm suffering with PND so I know this is skewing my perception slightly.

But whenever I put my baby down on her playmat or in her swing, and watch TV or fiddle on my phone, I feel like I'm neglecting her.

I never ignore her if she cries and if she gets fractious I go and sit with her or pick her up for a cuddle. But I can't shake this irrational feeling that I'm being a bad mum leaving her to "play" by herself.

My therapist suggested I ask other mums what they do and how they feel. What's the verdict, vipers?

Your baby sounds very secure and contented. My DD was a really contented baby as well. I left her to her own devices definitely for periods of time to kick/explore maybe half an hour or so. Some babies are less secure and wouldn't tolerate this but as she will, it is great to leave baby to their own devices for their physical development and their mental health. She would quickly let you know if she weren't happy.

Right now, you are both doing just fine. Take the opportunity to take a break and switch off. She's near you and safe. The most important person in your life is you because if you are ill, you cannot look after your DD. You are the most important person to your DD. It is paramount to look after you and your mental health for her.

You clearly love her very much and I hope you soon feel better. And on the crying before sleeping. My DD always always had a little cry before she went off to sleep. Some babies just do that apparently according to the Health Visitor and Midwife I know. She wasn't distressed or screaming, just transitioning from being awake to sleeping.

I didn't have PND. I did suffer a lot emotionally when DD was a baby because of the unreconciled feelings I had for my treatment of a child and anger at the treatment of a precious child (me). Counselling really helped. You are doing really well. I hope you feel better soon.

I want to cry. Thank you so much, you lovely nest of vipers, you've given me so many points I didn't even consider. I feel loads better and have lots to remind myself of when the negative thoughts start creeping in. Thank you!