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AIBU?

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Original poster

About smart casual meaning no jeans?

99 replies

User543212345 · 21/05/2016 13:48

DH and I have been invited to the evening bash of a wedding tonight and the dress code is smart casual. I think this means he can't wear jeans and should wear trousers/shirt/jacket or suit/shirt but no tie. He thinks jeans/shirt/jacket are alright as he argues they're dark and therefore smart jeans.

Which one of us is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
NightWanderer · 21/05/2016 14:18

Also worth bearing in mind that the day guests will be in suits. Err on the side of caution and dress smartly.

NotYoda · 21/05/2016 14:18

i also think it means no jeans

chinos- fine

TheWindInThePillows · 21/05/2016 14:19

Smart casual isn't jeans as far as I'm concerned. I'd suggest to my husband dark or tan chinos, shirt (any colour) and smartish shoes.

EponasWildDaughter · 21/05/2016 14:20

As it's a private party it's unlikely he'll be turned away, so i wouldn't worry too much.

I think the fact they've put this means they feel 'it's just a party, not the wedding so jeans is ok'. If they wanted men in suit trousers i think they would have said 'no jeans' or 'formal', or not mentioned dress code at all.

GoneGirl1234 · 21/05/2016 14:22

I went to a wedding with this dress code last summer and about 90% of the male guests interpreted it as beige/tan chino type trousers and blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up, it was like they were all part of the same club. The women were much more imaginative!

tinyterrors · 21/05/2016 14:23

I'm with your dh. It's the evening party of a wedding so a full on suit, with or without a tie, would be too much.

At our wedding, and most I've been to, a lot of the men who were there all day changed out of their suit into dark, smart jeans and a shirt. Most who were just at the evening part turned up in smart jeans and a shirt with either shoes or boots.

TheWindInThePillows · 21/05/2016 14:25

If he doesn't have any chinos/coloured trousers, then I'd go with dark jeans rather than a full on suit. Does he not having anything inbetween? It would depend if there were options...and if he looked smart whilst wearing the jeans too.

multivac · 21/05/2016 14:25

I get irrationally annoyed at being told what to wear for any event, and especially a party. At a works do one year, the dress code was 'black and white'. I wore a red dress. The universe didn't implode.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 21/05/2016 14:27

Me too multivac, hate it!

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 21/05/2016 14:28

Aren't chinos just jeans in a different material?

A wedding we went to last year saw all the blokes turn up for the evening do in chinos/shirt/shoes and waistcoat

1horatio · 21/05/2016 14:29

Jeans are sometimes appropriate for smart casual events. But for a wedding...? I'm a bit unsure. That probably really depends on the couple.

saltwiththat · 21/05/2016 14:36

Clodia DH & his mates belong to that club too Grin.

I would think dark jeans with a smart shirt and jacket would be fine unless it's a very grand location. But remember that all the day guests will be in suits or morning dress.

Original poster
User543212345 · 21/05/2016 14:40

But remember that all the day guests will be in suits or morning dress

This is why I think he'll probably be uncomfortable in jeans. We once went to a wedding where he refused to wear morning dress because he'd never been to a wedding where everyone wore it before and complained he felt underdressed all day and I think it spoiled it for him. It doesn't help that we don't know the couple particularly well yet (were very surprised and delighted to be included) and all I know about dress for the day is they're wearing kilts and chunky boots.

I think we've settled on red trousers, shirt and jacket.

I know suspect I'm overthinking it Grin

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 21/05/2016 14:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exLtEveDallas · 21/05/2016 14:42

In the military Smart Casual meant no ripped or blue jeans, no trainers or daps but dark smart jeans and a shirt or polo shirt with proper shoes.

Drinksforeveryone · 21/05/2016 14:44

I would take smart casual to include decent looking jeans - worn with a shirt and perhaps blazer. Not a T-shirt or trainers.

Its the evening event - a party - quite different to the daytime ceremony and formal wedding breakfast.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 21/05/2016 14:45

They might have been in suits and morning dress earlier, but in all likelihood they will have either changed before the evening party or removed jackets, waistcoats, ties/cravats and have rolled up sleeves by that point, so it's hardly still formal dress.

I would take smart/casual on an evening invitation as being a reassurance that you are not expected to be in formal dress, rather than instruction as to what you are meant to be wearing.

Marynary · 21/05/2016 14:45

I think that new dark jeans will be okay.

PalmerViolet · 21/05/2016 14:46

Smart jeans/slacks/chinos were always acceptable as smart casual dress.

curren · 21/05/2016 14:47

Imo sort casual for an evening wedding do, includes smart jeans.

Dark coloured, non ripped jeans.

But since your dh is presumably an adult, he can picked his own interpretation of it.

ilovesooty · 21/05/2016 14:48

I wouldn't know for certain whether dark smart jeans would be appropriate but I'm somewhat surprised at the number of posters who would involve themselves in what their husband wears.

Originalfoogirl · 21/05/2016 14:59

If they are wearing kilts and chunky boots, can't see why smart jeans would be a problem.

Frankly, I'm always amazed why people are so bothered what their guests wear to their events. Unless the venue has a rule, I couldn't care what people wear. One of my guests came and asked if she could go and change into her comfy jeans for the evening do as she wasn't feeling well and felt uncomfortable in her dress. I couldn't have cared less, as long as my guests were enjoying themselves they can wear what they like. She could have put on her jammas for all it mattered to me.

carabos · 21/05/2016 15:05

I had this conversation with my friend last night. They are all-day guests at a mutual friend's wedding today, DH and I are evening guests (we are not as close). No dress code stipulated, so my friend was asking what I will be wearing tonight. She was wondering whether to change for the evening (staying overnight so could do that without any hassle). We had the "cocktail dresses or jeans and sparkly top" debate, but didn't reach a conclusion. I think it won't be jeans though.

carabos · 21/05/2016 15:06

On balance, I tend to think "smart casual" means no jeans, no tie, no t-shirts.

MizK · 21/05/2016 15:11

For an evening do, dark jeans are fine would think. My DP usually wears a suit for weddings but for evening only usually does dark jeans. Has never looked out of place. He is just not a chino person and would look insane in coloured/linen trousers.