to feel fed up that I'm being denied flexible working after childless colleague also requested it

[RooTwo]

I have been working four days a week since I went back after maternity leave, with one of those days at home. Now I'm being told that I can no longer have this day at home; that others at work are requesting a day at home too and they can't have everyone having a day at home, so I can no longer have mine. AIBU to feel really fed up about this? I get loads done at home, work extremely productively, and it just means I can manage my work and home life more easily and things are just a bit less stressful in terms of managing the pick ups etc of three children.

I know that all employees are entitled to request flexible working, and that's how it should be, but for me, that day at home is just so vital, it keeps me sane as a working parent - I would never have thought to ask for flexible working/days a home as a childless 29 year old (as my colleague who has requested this is ...)

I'm trying to work out whether to go back to employers to challenge this and put in a formal request for flexible working (which had never really happened before).

AIB very U?

zeek That sounds exactly right. He asked, you considered, request didn't fit in with business needs, request turned down on that reason with an agreement to review when the staffing position changes.

It's all so reasonable!

I can't believe you bumbled along for months on a gentleman's agreement and then are surprised when it changed. Very few businesses run like that in this century.
I suggest you renegotiate what's possible and formalise it in writing, leaving out any references to the childless 29 year old. Especially as you may need flexibility when your child is ill, in a nativity, you want a family holiday or any one of the many reasons parents want bosses to be flexible and colleagues to fill in.

As a parent you have enshrined in law the right to make a formal request for flexible working.

So does somebody who is not a parent.

They had this in a relation's office. A youngish single man asked for and got a flexible working arrangement which involved working from home on Friday so that he could leave for some unspecified commitment near his home in the early evening. It worked well, at least there were no complaints.

Then a woman about to return from maternity leave asked for a work-from-home on Friday arrangement because she had childcare difficulties that day. That would have left the office understaffed; like most workplaces it needs a minimum of bums on seats. Management said No and the woman complained bitterly that she was not getting the support she was entitled to, so much for a fair deal for women in the workplace, and caused a lot of upset and side-taking - not along straight gender lines either.

It would have been monstrously unfair to tell the man he would have to come in on Fridays in future - and probably discriminatory too. In the end she found childcare and I don't doubt that it was difficult and perhaps expensive, but them's the breaks.

The OP's boss said they'd see how it went and now they don't like it. It was an experiment, not a permenantly arrangement.

Rather depends on how long it's been going on for. It isn't necessarily something a manager can decide to withdraw whenever they feel like for spurious reasons.

It's my big, gorgeous retriever Iggi. No one wants one day a week unless they are retired or have, eg a 0.6 and want something to make up a bit of extra money or gain experience. Unfortunately no one around that fits the bill.

I do believe that most businesses want to be more flexible, at least where possible, because happier staff mean more productive staff. The trouble is that there are still a few dinosaurs who see wfh as something women want to do so they can look after their children instead of working, or women wanting to go shopping etc. It is particularly difficult, in my experience, for men to request and be granted flexibility because there is still that attitude that it's for mothers.

Hopefully with advances in technology we will all be able to have flexibility in our work.

OP do put in a request, but make sure that it is based on you and your needs rather than an outdated view based on you, at that age and stage of life, not wanting this flexibility.

Yanbu to want to keep your existing arrangement. As this is an agreement that has been in place for some time, despite the lack of formal agreement you may be able to argue a case for Custom & Practice.

YABU regarding the other persons requesting flex, you don't know (or need to know) their reasoning but the legislation was changed to offer it to everyone so she has as much right to request it as anyone else. Having said that each request should be treated in its own merit and not impact pre-existing arrangements IMO

There are times in my working career I'd have been up for a 1 day a week role.

I manage an office with 5 employees - 3 are reception/administration staff, two are not. It would be reasonable for me to turn down a request from the administration staff for flexible working, as you require the reception to be fully manned during working hours; however, I could consider a request from the other staff. It's nothing to do with personal circumstances and solely to do with business needs.

A close family member with no children works from home. She has hidden disabilities.

Maybe you could ask your kids if you can be a part-time mum?

Sunnsoo That's a good idea! OP could job-share being a parent with her DP. She could ask to work 07:30 to 15:30, and her DP could ask to work 10:00 to 18:00 - so DP could drop DCs off and OP could pick them up. Or they could alternate days, early and late, as a former manager of mine has done for the last ten years.