to just be really disheartened that I cannot find a venue for our wedding?

[FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname]

DP and I are engaged and I'm trying to find a venue for the ceremony but having no luck at all. There are several things we need to consider:

We have to have the wedding on a Saturday as all my family bar one are not local and will have to travel to get there & stay overnight.

I want everyone who is invited to come to the whole day as I'm not going to invite family from miles away to come for just the reception, I think that would be horribly rude.

Dp is not religious and does not want to get married in a church.

I hate the local registry office and all the other ones in the county are too small for the number of people we need.

Every other venue I've looked at (hotels etc) want thousands and thousands, some don't do ceremonies at all (only receptions), some will do it but only if we hire the whole venue exclusively for the whole weekend/hire x number of rooms for accomodation too etc etc. We just can't afford £3000/4000/5000+ for just a venue.

Just feeling really down and deflated because I want to be excited and looking forward to getting married but at the moment I feel like I can't because I can't even find somewhere to get married that won't cost the earth

Aibu to just want a venue that is half decent and won't cost an absolute fortune? I broke down and cried yesterday because i

Is there a local, private 'big house' who wouldn't mind you using the garden? And how much would it cost to get said new venue licensed? Or even get your home licensed so you can do the wedding in your garden? Up here it is not expensive to get a venue licensed.

Dixxie you can get married outdoors in Scotland

Obviously no help to you though OP as you are in Cornwall.

Have you looked at Heartlands in Pool, near Camborne? It has a number of different venues at the site that you could use for a ceremony. I got married there a couple of years ago in the Glass Atrium and it wasn't that expensive... Can't remember exact price. It was wonderful!

We got married in a private school. The building and gardens were amazing. I know a lot do this on the summer for extra revenue.

There is a company called, I think, Wedding Creative, which will come and transform a venue. There may be others. Google 'A grand wedding for a grand' - just for ideas. You may have a (much) larger budget. Once saw that a hotel in Lincoln would hold a wedding for 40/50 people for a fixed amount. I know you are not there but get on the phone and try every hotel in your area that might agree similar. Also research "posh" B & Bs. Art students, catering students to take it on as a project under lecturer supervision? I have form, as a long time ago I catered my own reception and evening party. We descended on the village hall en masse the night before and transformed it. A lot of hard work but it made relaxing on honeymoon all the sweeter. Am staggered at the amount it all costs now.

What about rhs rosemoor? It's in north Devon but it's an amazing venue and they only charge £650 for the ceremony, if you're only an hour away by car then it might be doable!

I'm having to resign myself to the idea of reg office and then a field - if I can even find someone to hire a field to us!

And to whoever said that it's unreasonable to be annoyed that weddings are expensive - that's bull! They shouldn't be and don't have to be but it really angers me when people just say you'll have to do a weekday registry office in jeans when I say I've got a very small budget - that's like telling someone on a low income they don't have the right to a nice wedding! No it might not be in a stately home, or wearing a designer dress but thinking creatively (and flexibly) can make dreams come true!

GreenGoth so true. My dress came from e-bay (£250) but it was perfect for me. I made the cake myself, we made everything else for the wedding. We had our reception in a local village hall - £200 for the hire for the night. We got married in the church my DH is an altar server at (£500 voluntary donation - we didn't really need to pay anything but it only seemed right). Pot luck dinner instead of presents. In total we spent about £3000 (could have done it for less but once we realised how low we were spending we added a photographer who was just starting out and a car) and we had an amazing wedding that people still talk about. It was so relaxed. Looking back at the photos there are lots of photos of us and guests howling with laughter. Even half the posed photos have degenerated into silliness and laughter. It was perfect and I regret nothing. I am secretly hoping if we have children at least one of them will want a wedding like ours so that we get to do it again.

That's great Brenna, and the PP suggesting the company that "transforms spaces", but OP's problem is finding a naice, licensed-to-marry venue for the actual ceremony, not the reception, and church is out for this couple

Fedup- I know you have said that you don't want to have the legal ceremony and the reception etc on different days and that the legal stuff is important to you and your family too. I understand that completely- and I would also struggle to know when the 'real' anniversary was (maybe you could have 2?).

A friend had similar issues (wanted non-religious ceremony, on a Saturday, in a tourist town, with everyone invited all day etc). She had a very short legal ceremony in the registry office closest to the reception venue. Like you, she found that the space was limited there so she invited parents, bridesmaids, best man etc only to that part of the wedding. The rest of the guests met at the venue where she had the 'proper' ceremony led by a friend (who had done this before) and reception. The wedding party (bride, groom, parents etc) arrived at the reception venue wth all other guests sitting awaiting the ceremony in the same sort of way that they would arrive at a church. It was one of the nicest weddings I've ever been to and got around the practical/cost issues without meaning that the closest family had to feel they'd missed out on witnessing the legal ceremony. MIght something like this work for you??