to just be really disheartened that I cannot find a venue for our wedding?

[FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname]

DP and I are engaged and I'm trying to find a venue for the ceremony but having no luck at all. There are several things we need to consider:

We have to have the wedding on a Saturday as all my family bar one are not local and will have to travel to get there & stay overnight.

I want everyone who is invited to come to the whole day as I'm not going to invite family from miles away to come for just the reception, I think that would be horribly rude.

Dp is not religious and does not want to get married in a church.

I hate the local registry office and all the other ones in the county are too small for the number of people we need.

Every other venue I've looked at (hotels etc) want thousands and thousands, some don't do ceremonies at all (only receptions), some will do it but only if we hire the whole venue exclusively for the whole weekend/hire x number of rooms for accomodation too etc etc. We just can't afford £3000/4000/5000+ for just a venue.

Just feeling really down and deflated because I want to be excited and looking forward to getting married but at the moment I feel like I can't because I can't even find somewhere to get married that won't cost the earth

Aibu to just want a venue that is half decent and won't cost an absolute fortune? I broke down and cried yesterday because i

Just do the legal bit in the registry office with your families and as many other people as it will hold, then have your own ceremony in the field.

When we were looking, we considered having a humanist ceremony in the marquee and then doing the legal bit with just parent and siblings/best friends on a different day.

I went to a wedding with a humanist ceremony a few years back. It was the loveliest ceremony I have been to, so special and personal. It still felt formal and like a wedding, but much better than the legal basics. Better still, it was a sunny day and could be held outside.

My partner is a wedding entertainer.

Some of his weddings are on odd places like football stadiums and stuff... worth looking around for.
One of his regular venues has a start price of £14,000!

OP if you are in Cornwall this might work for you... We usually go on holiday to Halye and stay at Beachside Holiday Park. Last year when we went a couple had their wedding right on the cliffs over looking the beach and had a marquee for the reception. It looked lovely and the couple looked so happy. It also meant that their guests could stay on the site. Obviously it's not for everyone, but maybe it's something you could consider or enquire about.

Are there any local sites that you could approach and ask them to apply for permission to hold weddings there?

If you offered a decent incentive some local pub/ school/ sports club might offer to register for you

www.gov.uk/approval-of-premises-for-civil-marriage-or-civil-partnership

We licensed PILs back garden as they had a lovely summerhouse type thing which satisfied the rules. 11 years ago it cost about £900ish to do that with 2/3rds back if the licence is revoked within three months. Is something like that a possibility?

OP, feel your pain as it is disheartening when it seems that all the places want so much money. I am miles away from you and having the same problem but hope that some of the ideas where will help you. you will find something suitable.

How about Maui?

• gets coat and runs like hell *

List of registered wedding venues, theres beaches, woodlands, caves, cottages

www.wedmagazine.co.uk/Wedding-Venues-Cornwall.html

Will see if I can find a list not through a magazine thing, incase they haven't covered everywhere.

We had a civil ceremony a month before what we call our actual wedding. We had a humanist ceremony where we exchanged vows, had readings and had a beautiful blessing that was personally written for us and our family. it was SO much nicer than the typical civil ceremony, really personal and in no way seemed fake.

We call our humanist ceremony our official wedding date and anniversary. The civil one was just the legality

Haven't RTFT so apologies if this has been suggested already. What about doing the legal bit the day before and then having a humanist ceremony or something similar on the day in your marquee? I'm sure humanists can do ceremonies anywhere and it doesn't have to be registered

I know someone has already mentioned it but you can get really good deals on a Sunday even when there is a following bank holiday Monday. It also gives you a useful extra weekend day to prepare! Have a look at Sunday prices and see if it makes a big difference, don't feel cheeky about asking for Sunday discounts from any supplier of anything, the worst they can say is no!

I've known a few friends go and do the legal stuff of getting married at registry office during the week, then have the Wedding at the weekend at an unlicenced venue.
You can still say vows to each other in front of family is you wish, just they have no legal standing.

Nicest wedding i went to recently was in a boarding school where groom's father was a teacher.

Trouble is with Sundays is that my relatives would need the Sunday to travel home so they can be back at work for Monday so its not a total no but would be less convenient for them. So far all the places I've looked at has been Mon-Thurs = Price A, Fri-Sun = Price B so no different to a Saturday.

I wish it was the registrar who was licensed not venues so as in some other countries people could get married wherever.

You are very, very lucky indeed to have access to your own "venue" for the reception. That will make a big wedding party possible on much less money than at almost all other reception venues.

If you want everyone at the actual legal ceremony you might well need to compromise on the location or cost of that.

www.cornwall.gov.uk/advice-and-benefits/marriages/approved-premises/

Have you tried looking out of season? Our reception venue cost 4000 in August but only 500 when we got married in Jan.

Hi have you considered having the wedding on a Friday? We did this. Our guests came from far and wide and none seemed to mind taking a day off work and having a long weekend. It cuts out competition for prime Saturday dates and gave us much more choice in everything plus bargaining power as no other bookings for cars, flowers, rooms for guests etc. In your case it might mean the hotels would allow you to just have the ceremony there as you would not then take up the Saturday slot for a full wedding.
A lovely idea I also saw recently was to ask guests to bring a pre arranged dish or drinks to reception rather than gifts to cut out some of the work/cost for you. Hope you can sort it and look forward to a lovely day.

I'd just get married in the registry office - it's just a building - and have your photos taken in a nearby park. Throw all your efforts into making the reception awesome.

We got married in a field with a load of guests, had a lovely day and didn't feel fake at all. Finally got around to legally sealing the deal at the registry office a year later on a weekday with both sets of parents, and one friend each to act as witnesses then back to ours for champagne and out for dinner later. Wore wedding dress in the field, just a nice knee length dress and small bunch of flowers for registry office.

picklypopcorn I think Maui is a great idea

OP, is there not some woodland nearby which is registered? There are so many people these days who don't want church or register office, and many, many woodlands are now available. I'm in Devon, and almost everywhere seems to be available as a marriage venue now.

Legally in the UK you can't get married outside, you have to be under cover.

Ok so...

• there is no venue available on the day
• there is not enough space in the registry office
• you don't want to get married on a weekday
• you don't want to get married just before and have a ceremonial blessing in or outside the reception venue with everyone witnessing you exchanging vows

You don't have any options left, unless you are willing to push the wedding back to an alternative / later date when venues are available? And that's also assuming you're happy to pay for the venue at Saturday rates...

Almost Dixxie, there are probably lots of venues available on that date(s) (I don't even have an exact date in mind, just a general 'time of year') but they are all too expensive. Even out of season/weekday, they would still be too expensive. For some of the venues I've looked at they are only exclusive hire venues where you have to hire out the whole thing for the whole weekend so a) weekday weddings are not an option and b) it doesn't matter when you want to get married, the costs are the same. Obviously I'm not going to go for those places!

I really can't get married on a weekday for the above mentioned reasons, not unless I want all my family to miss it

Why don't you have a quickly registry office wedding before, and then a celebrant on the day in the field?