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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To send dd into school in incorrect pe kit until September?

67 replies

sockrage · 18/05/2016 08:14

I bought dd another pair of (£5 a pop) specific PE socks on Friday.
Two lessons later she has lost one. These were to replace the other three lost pairs this school year.

I bought her some cheaper ones of the same socks but school moaned about them.

They changed the PE kit as from September so yet another pair of new socks will be for a handful of weeks.

This is to add to the three planners, school coat and body warmer plus countless other crap she has lost.

She never bothers going back to look for anything and it is never her fault that she has lost it...

Her friend also thinks it is funny to swing her round messing about by her bag or open her bag adding to the damn issue

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 18/05/2016 09:06

I would not be buying her expensive socks if they are only going to be official uniform for half a term.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 18/05/2016 09:10

Am I the only one who thinks the concept of 'specific PE socks' is taking uniform bonkersness to a whole new level?

I would check she's not being bullied, tbh.

SoupDragon · 18/05/2016 09:12

DSs school have specific games socks in school colours. I assumed it was common. For PE they can just wear any white sports socks though.

Original poster

sockrage · 18/05/2016 09:14

Am I the only one who thinks the concept of 'specific PE socks' is taking uniform bonkersness to a whole new level?

No I think the same.

Unfortunately school are a bit bonkers. A child who had a note from a parent not to do PE regarding a back injury was apparently given detention for not having their pe kit to change into to sit on the side lines in

OP posts:

BIWI · 18/05/2016 09:15

Let her get the detention then. If she's not listening to you, maybe this will help make her realise it's actually important!

Balletgirlmum · 18/05/2016 09:15

My two lose loads of stuff. They are both aspie with terrible organisation.

I've found the only way to deal with it is consequences. If they know they are going to get detention it's amazing how stuff turns up.

They do get a small amount of pocket money but any unreasonably lost items they are responsible for replacing themselves even if that means using birthday/activity money.

Nannawifeofbaldr · 18/05/2016 09:15

Our school had specific socks 28 years ago (still does) not that usual. It means everyone matches for inter school games if nothing else.

Balletgirlmum · 18/05/2016 09:16

& ds has specific hooped games socks too.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 18/05/2016 09:18

Id make her buy ones from her own money and see how careful she is then. I expect my five year old to OK for her own stuff, she's not a baby

YorkieDorkie · 18/05/2016 09:19

As a former member of staff in a high school, I do wish parents would stop protecting their children from getting detention if they aren't taking responsibility for their uniform/possessions/grades. It causes parents so much extra stress and teaches the kid nothing. You have my sympathy OP, they have no concept of money do they!!

HeteronormativeHaybales · 18/05/2016 09:21

Ah, I'm abroad and there are no uniforms here (and uniform was reasonably sensible/lax, depending on your POV, when I were a lass).

Am a complete convert to non-uniform schools. No anarchy to be seen in either ds2's lovely small primary or ds1's selective secondary - just lots of nice and focused kids in jeans.

Catmuffin · 18/05/2016 09:22

At my dd's secondary named lost property gets returned to them during tutor time. If your dd's school does that and nothing is ever being returned I'd be a bit suspicious of the girl who goes into her bag.

MillionToOneChances · 18/05/2016 09:23

My daughter spent weeks not looking for her school trainers, then they randomly made their own way back to her. Maddening!!

stealthsquiggle · 18/05/2016 09:29

DS has had one pair of school-specified games socks for the last 4.5 years (from Y4, now Y8). Yes, they have gone missing on occasion, but he has hunted them down.

DD does lose stuff, but mostly hairbands, and even she is nearing the end of of Y4 without having lost her games socks, and from September when DS changes schools, I will be able to threaten her that if she loses hers she will be wearing her brothers, and I will not be changing the nametapes.

As PP have said - detention is her problem, not yours. Make sure it stays that way!

Catmuffin · 18/05/2016 09:29

Dd had a whole PE kit returned to her minus one trainer. Annoying, but to be fair it's the only time she's lost something at secondary (touch wood) So not so bad. Was quite glad i didn't suggest to the school it had been stolen as I'd have looked stupid when it was returned!

Catmuffin · 18/05/2016 09:30

I agree that you shouldn't replace the socks, especially if they are changing them in September

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 18/05/2016 09:37

What colour are the socks and can you write, with a permanent maker,her name on the sole, both sides of the sock?

DC has white PE socks. Got so pissed at them being lost I used a sharpie laundry marker and wrote DCs name across the sole inside and out.

Haven't lost them since.

Original poster

sockrage · 18/05/2016 09:41

They are red and that is what I usually do although in fairness I am not sure I remembered with the new ones as I had awful flu last week.

None of the sharpie marked ones came back either

OP posts:

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 18/05/2016 09:45

sounds like there might be a sock thief in school. Or your DD eats them

Send her off to lost property to find them all ( I bet the gym have their own box of left kit) and ban TV/internet whatever until she comes home with 2 pairs of PE socks.

fascicle · 18/05/2016 09:52

Are you in a position to suggest meeting her at school and looking in the lost property areas together? That might be insentive enough to get her to have a good look on her own.

fascicle · 18/05/2016 09:54

incentive even

Ashhead24 · 18/05/2016 09:56

PE socks? That is properly bonkers. Do they have some sort of magical properties that make them good for PE? Although thinking about it we did have PE knickers to wear under netball skirts which is just as weird.

Anyway agree that it's not your responsibility any more. You've been more than reasonable in replacing things. Either she pays herself or she gets detention. And maybe agree on one replacement per item for a maximum of three items or something for next year. Things do get nicked or accidentally taken, but not that much.

Balletgirlmum · 18/05/2016 10:00

Err yes actually ashhead they sort of do. They will be long football/hockey type socks that can accommodate shinpads without falling down. Dss are hooped style (black with red lines) they will match the PE kit colours & generally need to match because if inter school matches.

budgiegirl · 18/05/2016 10:18

It's not at all unusual to have socks for PE. They are usually long, so suitable for shin pads, and also thick so they are warm for outside sports, and comfortable for hockey/football boots.

And if they are coloured it makes sure that kids have put on clean socks after PE, and not just kept their games socks on!

Willow2016 · 18/05/2016 10:20

Get tough!
Thats a hell of a lot of stuff to lose.
Take the money Gps give her to help pay for new stuff. Limit phone or computer etc to minimal (i.e homework, speaking to gp only) for a couple of weeks as punishment so she can appreciate that she cant just lose stuff and think 'oh dear never mind, mum will buy me more' its not much to ask a 13yr old to pick up their stuff when they leave an area. Also doing chores to 'pay for it ' is a good idea.

I would march her into school and ask about lost property and missing stuff. The schooil could send a txt to parents to look out for the stuff (yep some will shamelessly keep stuff but others wont)

When my ds started at high school he lost 3 jumpers in a term, was livid as they werent cheap but they were never found. He was basicaly just careless but he did lose trousers cos someone thought it was funny to take them at gym and he had to wear his gym shorts home! Not happy about that.

Thankfully hasnt lost anything since. They need to learn money doesnt grow on trees and it isnt funny to be so careless.

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