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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed at this colleague?

50 replies

cjt110 · 17/05/2016 09:24

Sitting happily at my desk. Get called from the kitchen (across the way from my desk) Is this your melon in the cupboard? I reply yes it is. Colleague says well
I think it's past it's best - It's smelling the cupboard out. I said oh, ok. I'll have a look at dinnertime. A minute or two later I decided to go and get some water to take some tablets and walked into the kitchen and colleague is blatantly whispering/muttering to another colleague in the kitchen who looked embarrassed as I walked in. Colleague then said "It is yours in the cupboard isnt it" I opened the cupboard and said I couldnt smell anything. Colleague said they could. I then said well bin it then and chucked it in the bin. I admit I said it in a pissed off manner because I appear to have walked in on colleague bitching. Colleague then stood at the door for a few seconds and I made a comment that I was sure I only bought it Friday.

Im annoyed that colleague appears to have been talking about me to the other colleague. Why be completely apparently silent then ask about something you'be asked me about no more than a minute or so ago.

I really would like to say look, i dont appreciate you bitching about me to another colleague then pretending you haven't said a word at all.

This colleague can blow hot and cold quite easily.

Well prepared to be told IABU.

OP posts:
rollonthesummer · 17/05/2016 09:26

If something of mine was stinking out the kitchen cupboard at work, I'd go and deal with it straight away. Saying you'd look at it at dinner time is very passive aggressive! I'm not surprised she was annoyed!

SaucyJack · 17/05/2016 09:28

Honestly?

I think you're both being as arsey and unhelpful as each other.

Sorry.

cjt110 · 17/05/2016 09:29

I was in the middle of something and had just come off the phone, so said I'd look at dinnertime as a .... stock(?) response.

OP posts:
MrsBertMacklin · 17/05/2016 09:33

I think you're both blowing it out of proportion.
Storing overripe fruit in a communal space isn't great and colleague is perhaps concerned that it's rotting, but unless you have form for this, it doesn't seem to warrant her approach.

Throwing it away just to make a point is petulant.

OutToGetYou · 17/05/2016 09:33

I don't think it's passive aggressive but am bewildered by how much a melon could smell anyway.

I'd be a bit cross but I'd get over it in about ten seconds I think.

cjt110 · 17/05/2016 09:34

Im more miffed by the fact she appears to have been speaking about me, in hushed tones, then got caught out.

OP posts:
cjt110 · 17/05/2016 09:35

And no, no form for leaving items to go past their best. I had bought it last week and planned to have some today.

OP posts:
puglife15 · 17/05/2016 09:39

Meh. Colleague mutters about other colleague's melon behind their back.

Hardly the crime of the century and happens every day.

Not worth getting annoyed over, unless they are literally your only two colleagues perhaps.

cjt110 · 17/05/2016 09:43

puglife Nope, not the only two. I guess I'm annoyed because colleague is becoming increasingly two faced or perhaps I am noticing it more and I can't stand backstabbers.

OP posts:
Believeitornot · 17/05/2016 09:46

I'm guessing you've got form otherwise why else would she mention it? Maybe she is struggling to work out how to deal with it.
I would have dealt with the melon straight away - don't give her a reason to find further fault. So a quick "sorry I'll chuck that away" or wrap in a bag and job done.

LunaLoveg00d · 17/05/2016 09:53

What is wrong with people that they are all so easily offended and annoyed?

Is it full moon or something??

SaucyJack · 17/05/2016 09:54

How many threads now have you started regarding extremely petty grievances with colleagues? It's quite a lot btw. I just did an advanced search to check as I thought I'd seen this type of thread from you before.

Is it the same person each time, or do you find all of your colleagues annoying?

I'm not just saying this to be an unhelpful bitch, but it might be worth your while sitting down with yourself and working out what the problem really is, and who it's coming from, and whether you could take steps to change either your work environment or relationships.

It can't be fun for you to be sat there fermenting over fruit or whatevs all day.

SheHasAWildHeart · 17/05/2016 09:57

What is wrong with people that they are all so easily offended and annoyed?
Something strange is going on lately.

SheHasAWildHeart · 17/05/2016 09:59

Lady with dirty, knotted is offended when told she should wash her hair.
Lady with child running around in a public place is offended when told her child shouldn't be running around.
Lady with smelly melon is offended when told her melon is smelly.

:/

Scarydinosaurs · 17/05/2016 10:01

It's a melon.

Don't sweat it.

cjt110 · 17/05/2016 10:01

Saucy I have 2 colleagues that quite often annoy me. I have tried all I can to alleviate this, and it hasn't helped. This particular colleague has a tendancy to be nice to your face, then either pull rank as a manager, or bitch about you behind your back. I just can't be arsed with people like that and it pisses me off when she's bitching about someone because they said they;d deal with it later.

OP posts:
cjt110 · 17/05/2016 10:03

I might tell her her jam in the fridge that's been there for months, and her coffee bag in the fridge are stinking the fridge out too. Grin

OP posts:
sharknad0 · 17/05/2016 10:05

good grief, how old are you?

Try to behave like an adult and a professional one when you are at work, I promise you it will help your career prospects.

sepa · 17/05/2016 10:07

Why didn't you just ask her about the bitching?
They may have just been speaking about something they didn't want you to know and changed the subject to your melon to move away from it quickly.
If I was bitching about someone I wouldn't look embarrassed about it. If I was say talking to my colleague about a mishap in the bedroom then I would look embarrassed if someone walked into that conversation Grin

Stillunexpected · 17/05/2016 10:09

Thank heavens I don't work with you or your colleagues.

cjt110 · 17/05/2016 10:09

Eurgh. Work. Laced with all sorts of situations :( I thought IWBU, so thanks all. Lack of sleep, headaches and other bits and bobs causing me to be a twat of late.

OP posts:
araiba · 17/05/2016 10:10

this thread makes me feel meloncholy

cjt110 · 17/05/2016 10:10

Work here is really pants at the mo, low mood atmosphere by most and I think we are all taking it out on one another. Its not good.

OP posts:
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 17/05/2016 10:12

I take it you're one of those saints who would never ever ever say anything negative about anybody behind their back. Or bitch about them on an Internet forum (which has been established time and time again to not be as anonymous as we like to think).

Why couldn't you deal with it there and then? Why wait lunch time? Maybe you annoy your colleagues as much as they annoy you?

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 17/05/2016 10:14

X-post, clearly everyone is pissed off and annoyed with each other!

Time to look for a new job? Something to give you a bit more positivity?