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AIBU?

Having a girl after having boys

38 replies

Lymmmummy · 16/05/2016 20:24

I have just found out I am expecting a girl - let me say I am enormously happy to be having a healthy child and I am very glad to be alive having suffered from a life threatening illness several years ago - so I know I am being unreasonable

But I am feeling odd about having a girl after having already got a 6 year old boy - I don't know how it will work - anyone had similar and got any stories to share?

I am also slightly sad as I imagined I was having a boy and perhaps had hopes of my son having a brother and all of the positives that may have brought -

it's weird because when I was having DS I was slightly disappointed it was not a girl - now I wouldn't be without him he has brought so much sheer joy to our lives - I sort of know what to do with boys and am finding the prospect of a girl slightly scary

Please tell me I am being ridiculous

OP posts:

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Pollyputhtekettleon · 17/05/2016 07:25

Many people have a preference until baby arrives. YANBU. You would be unreasonable to still have a preference after baby arrives! But I promise you that won't happen.

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EightofNine · 17/05/2016 07:27

I had a girl after 2 boys, I would argue that it's not the gender that makes the difference, it's their personality. My second son was a lot more soft and gentle than my daughter is. It's been an eye opening experience.

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Hurryhurryhurry · 17/05/2016 07:32

I find playgroups at toddler stage are easier with my dd. She just plays!
Wheras my ds would rampage!

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Branleuse · 17/05/2016 07:33

its not really any different tbh

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Nannawifeofbaldr · 17/05/2016 07:36

You know how you learned about boys OP? By having one.

You'll learn about girls exactly the same way.

Even if you'd had two boys, DS2 might have been a completely different type of boy to DS1.

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SoupDragon · 17/05/2016 07:38

The main difference was nappy changes. After 2 boys, the places that poo got with DD was a surprise, as was the fact that she did stealth wees at nappy changes rather than the uncontrollable hose pipe of her brothers.

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PurpleRibbons · 17/05/2016 07:41

You will always have someone to go on spa days with and she might let you borrow her shoes when she's older!!

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waitingforsomething · 17/05/2016 07:50

Lovefromus where did op say she didn't want her girl? Such a silly reply she is simply wondering out loud if it will be very different

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BikeRunSki · 17/05/2016 08:01

I can kind of relate to this OP. I grew up with 2 older brothers, and was always (and still am)'much closer to them than my younger sister (even though my sister and are are closest in age. I studied traditionally "boy" subjects at school and uni and work in a male dominated profession. I was delighted when I discovered, st 20 wks pg, that my first baby was a boy. 3 years later, I admit to be hugely underwhelmed, 20 weeks pg again, to discover that my second was a girl. You'd have thought that after hyperemisis (in both pg) and being over 40 that a healthy baby would have been enough.

DD is now 4.5. She is..... Her. She has her own personality - it's not pink and princessy at all - it's just her. She loves riding her bike, keeping up with her brother, being outside. She has some dolls but not loads. She also loves her weekly ballet lesson! She is bright, cheeky and prone to grumpiness. She's just who she is. Her relationship with her brother is sweet, frustrating, funny, friendly, angry at times, and they adore each other.

Who knows what life would have bought with another boy? I'm never going to find out. Two children is quite enough for me, and they are identified by so much more than their sex.

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SoupDragon · 17/05/2016 09:14

LoveFromUs did you actually read the OPs post?

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Gowgirl · 17/05/2016 18:15

I can only assume you are having a really bad week lovefromus either that or you are deliberately being a GF!

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grannytomine · 17/05/2016 18:18

I have 3 boys and a girl. She was delivered by emergency CS and as I came round from anaesthetic I heard one midwife telling another that I had a girl and wasn't that nice after 3 boys. I piped up, "I had a boy" She said, "No, its a girl." Me in very cross, if sleepy, voice said, "I don't have girls, I have boys." She said, "OK maybe I got it wrong."

I love her and we are really close.

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CantWaitForWarmWeather · 17/05/2016 18:47

I am a mum of 3 boys but I don't have a girl. I'm not disappointed at not having a girl but I do get pangs every now and again where I think how lovely it would be to have a girl too as well as my boys.
I did have a Dsd but it just wasn't the same as having a daughter. eg I know that if I had a girl I would make a huge effort with hair and make it lovely, but I never even attempted anything more than a basic ponytail with exdsd.