Having a girl after having boys

[Lymmmummy]

I have just found out I am expecting a girl - let me say I am enormously happy to be having a healthy child and I am very glad to be alive having suffered from a life threatening illness several years ago - so I know I am being unreasonable

But I am feeling odd about having a girl after having already got a 6 year old boy - I don't know how it will work - anyone had similar and got any stories to share?

I am also slightly sad as I imagined I was having a boy and perhaps had hopes of my son having a brother and all of the positives that may have brought -

it's weird because when I was having DS I was slightly disappointed it was not a girl - now I wouldn't be without him he has brought so much sheer joy to our lives - I sort of know what to do with boys and am finding the prospect of a girl slightly scary

Please tell me I am being ridiculous

[CantWaitForWarmWeather]

I am a mum of 3 boys but I don't have a girl. I'm not disappointed at not having a girl but I do get pangs every now and again where I think how lovely it would be to have a girl too as well as my boys.
I did have a Dsd but it just wasn't the same as having a daughter. eg I know that if I had a girl I would make a huge effort with hair and make it lovely, but I never even attempted anything more than a basic ponytail with exdsd.

[grannytomine]

I have 3 boys and a girl. She was delivered by emergency CS and as I came round from anaesthetic I heard one midwife telling another that I had a girl and wasn't that nice after 3 boys. I piped up, "I had a boy" She said, "No, its a girl." Me in very cross, if sleepy, voice said, "I don't have girls, I have boys." She said, "OK maybe I got it wrong."

I love her and we are really close.

[Gowgirl]

I can only assume you are having a really bad week lovefromus either that or you are deliberately being a GF!

[SoupDragon]

LoveFromUs did you actually read the OPs post?

[BikeRunSki]

I can kind of relate to this OP. I grew up with 2 older brothers, and was always (and still am)'much closer to them than my younger sister (even though my sister and are are closest in age. I studied traditionally "boy" subjects at school and uni and work in a male dominated profession. I was delighted when I discovered, st 20 wks pg, that my first baby was a boy. 3 years later, I admit to be hugely underwhelmed, 20 weeks pg again, to discover that my second was a girl. You'd have thought that after hyperemisis (in both pg) and being over 40 that a healthy baby would have been enough.

DD is now 4.5. She is..... Her. She has her own personality - it's not pink and princessy at all - it's just her. She loves riding her bike, keeping up with her brother, being outside. She has some dolls but not loads. She also loves her weekly ballet lesson! She is bright, cheeky and prone to grumpiness. She's just who she is. Her relationship with her brother is sweet, frustrating, funny, friendly, angry at times, and they adore each other.

Who knows what life would have bought with another boy? I'm never going to find out. Two children is quite enough for me, and they are identified by so much more than their sex.

[waitingforsomething]

Lovefromus where did op say she didn't want her girl? Such a silly reply she is simply wondering out loud if it will be very different

[PurpleRibbons]

You will always have someone to go on spa days with and she might let you borrow her shoes when she's older!!

[SoupDragon]

The main difference was nappy changes. After 2 boys, the places that poo got with DD was a surprise, as was the fact that she did stealth wees at nappy changes rather than the uncontrollable hose pipe of her brothers.

[Nannawifeofbaldr]

You know how you learned about boys OP? By having one.

You'll learn about girls exactly the same way.

Even if you'd had two boys, DS2 might have been a completely different type of boy to DS1.

[Branleuse]

its not really any different tbh

[Hurryhurryhurry]

I find playgroups at toddler stage are easier with my dd. She just plays!
Wheras my ds would rampage!

[EightofNine]

I had a girl after 2 boys, I would argue that it's not the gender that makes the difference, it's their personality. My second son was a lot more soft and gentle than my daughter is. It's been an eye opening experience.

[Pollyputhtekettleon]

Many people have a preference until baby arrives. YANBU. You would be unreasonable to still have a preference after baby arrives! But I promise you that won't happen.

[LoveFromUs]

You are being ridiculous, there are people that can not have children and would love to have a baby girl.

Stop complaining and get on with it!!

[Toddzoid]

When they're babies they're the same. The only thing that's different is I found it easier to wipe poo up on a girl than boy , just because it used to get stuck all around the balls whereas with a girl it's front to back and done. Sorry, that's more crass than it sounded in my head...

When they grow up there are some distinct differences but it varies child to child so this probably isn't sex based, possibly a link though. My DS is very simplistic, happy with small things, no drama. DD's are full to the brim of drama, everything is a drama in fact. Way more tantrums, bickering, making a big deal out of nothing. I've found girls harder to handle personally but I don't want to base that purely on their sex, it's possibly just natural different temperament.

[MattDillonsPants]

My mate had 3 boys and then when the younger boy was 9 she had twin girls.

She found the hardest thing was that girls' friendships are conducted differently.

So...one example is that on the last day of term before Christmas in year 1, her girls came home with a number of little gifts from their best friends...and she'd not thought to send her girls in with any...because her boys had never done that.

She felt terrible! I told her not to worry about it...but it was little stuff which got her in that way.

[CheerfulYank]

Yes, I had a DS then six years later a DD. Then two years later another DS! :o

It's fine. DS1 had a hard time adjusting for awhile, but he has always been very kind to DD and very loving toward her. Now that she's three he gets irritated with her because she messes with his things and picks fights with him (she is a fierce exhausting little thing) but they are quite close.

They play Star Wars together, go outside together, etc. She likes her dollhouse and watching Frozen, which he isn't as into. But he will read to her and they play their own made up games like chasing monsters around the house.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Keep one end clean and feed the other end. They then start talking and you work out what they like. Apart from that?

[waitingforsomething]

I have a 3 and a half year old girl and a 10 month boy. I thought it would be easier to have 2 the same and was a bit nervous but so far I can report he is pretty much exactly the same as she was although a bit more chilled in the day and a bit less sleepy at night. They are both gorge and adore each other, don't fret

[LentilAsAnything]

YABR! :)
I have a 5yo boy and a baby girl. He adores her!
And she adores him.
Like Jeffrey, my 5yo also ranks his favourites, and his sister comes out top!
I think their gender is irrelevant. They are just who they are.
Best of luck with your pregnancy and soon to be here daughter. Enjoy.

[honeylulu]

I felt the same. Had a boy, felt panicked that I didn't know about boys (had no brothers, single sex education etc). He was just an awesome little person. Gender irrelevant. Nearly a decade later had a girl. Panicked. All our friends seemed to have all boys. I didn't know what to do with a girl! Another awesome little person (and more boyish than her brother in lots of ways ... they both liked pink, dolls and dancing but she likes football too and he hates it!)

[HormonalHeap]

I've just had an amazing girly kitchen chat with my dd18, in a way that my ds just wouldn't have the patience or interest. I know it's a long way down the line for you, but something to look forward to!

[KatyN]

Nappy changes are completely different! Way more crevices to get poo stuck in, less risk of being weed on.
I'm only 4 months in but have one of each too. I assumed our second would be another boy just because I had already made a boy!

[Ilovewillow]

Tbh there's not a lot of difference, my daughter first born is not a girly girl and my son loves a bit of glitter. We have five yrs difference between ours but they both get on really well despite the age and gender difference. On a lighter note the choice of girls clothes is much better! Enjoy!

[JeffreySadsacIsUnwell]

I have a girl and a boy. They're best friends. I know so because they write 'rankings' of friends and 'Mummy' is always at the bottom .

Trust me, your children will find a way to gang up on you regardless of age/gender differences.

Mine are almost 7 and 4 and are absolutely desperate to have 'lots more' siblings, not going to happen, but nice they think like that.

As for gender differences, yes, there are a couple. My DD's favourite colour is blue or green, my son's favourite is pink, or purple at a push. I have just given in and bought DS a sequinned flamingo top that he begged for and earnestly presented 63p of his savings to buy... He has also requested a Barbie. Meanwhile DD wants 'proper climbing shoes' and a rope. From my experience so far, it's an awful lot easier having a girl because society is much more willing to accommodate girls' "opposite gender-stereotyped" tastes than boys'. Bloody difficult being a feminist and having a boy, I feel constantly torn between letting DS have the pink frilly stuff he craves (and DD rejects) and knowing that he's coming up to the age of merciless teasing, whereas with DD, anything is acceptable.

I do have friends with 7yo boys and 0-1yo girls - the boys are all fantastic with their little sisters, really generous and indulgent. Wish I'd had a big brother!