AIBU or is ma-ma?

[VioletRoar]

She's refusing to let me play "door handles". It's quite a simple game; I point at a door handle, and she holds me at just the right height for as long as I decide is appropriate. I need to be able to touch the door handle with both hands, for exploring. About 40minutes is usually enough time for a session. I then like to move onto another door handle.
I've tried communicating this to her using my extensive knowledge of baby sign language. (I squeal while pointing and gesturing vaguely, just as I was taught.....I think. I usually bugger off to play with the other babies while our mums awkwardly sing and sign while trying to avoid each other's eye contact).

Sorry for the essay, I am just wondering if my ma-ma is the only one like this. Is there anything I can do to improve her behaviour?

Thanks in advance

If I can give some advice for when you get older? For some reason mummies don't like it when you pat their tummy and tell everyone your baby sister is in there. Apparently it's embarrassing for her to explain to everyone that it's actually gin and crisps. Obviously I like to do it 4-5 times a day.

Excellent advice katsu,

I wonder what viciousstarling's mama has done to warrant the face pulling?

Perhaps she has begun potty training?

I was wondering the same, furiosa

The absolute best game to play is 'hide the sky viewing card'.
Your mum and dad will give you hours of undivided attention whilst you all look for it and you can pretend you don't know where you put it....

Lol at It's hard to watch them cry but you have to be persistent or they'll just take the piss.

And the Faux mobile

This thread keeps giving

I am a but a tiny six weeks old so I'm taking careful note of these ideas for the future.

In the meantime, I have some questions.

Firstly, several times a week my mummy and daddy remove all my clothes and dunk me in a tub full of water. This often happens after I hear them talking about a B-A-T-H. Naturally I squeal loudly as close to their ears as possible and vigorously thrash my feet about in the water to convey my strong objection to this unreasonable behaviour, yet still they persist. How do I put an end to this nonsense?

Secondly, they insist on placing me in this bizarre box on wheels and then pushing me around the neighbourhood. I make sure to wail at the top of my voice (particularly when people walk by) for the duration of my imprisonment in said box, but still they routinely take me on these so-called walks. What would you advise?

I'm 20 months and have been walking for 4 months now. I really can't see why I need to hold mama's hand when walking near busy roads/ in car parks. If she tries to hold my hand I just sit down on the floor and cry.

Also mama's tummy is getting awfully fat. She keeps telling me there is a baby in there but that couldn't be possible, surely. I just poke her hard in the tummy whenever I get the chance so she knows I've noticed.

knits some adults are very slow to learn that these activities are quite simply not acceptable. I once scared mama into not bathing me for over a week because I caused such a commotion every bath time. A proud time. We need to teach these adults that they fit around us, not the other way around.

Great work violet, I will take strength from your success.

Our adults do indeed need to be taught that we babies are in charge. Last night my mummy had the audacity to hand me over to daddy when I was halfway through eating my dinner. I had only been feeding off and on for five hours, just what does she think she's playing at? I headbutted daddy firmly on the nose in my quest to be returned to my dinner, but I fear a repeat of the same thing tonight, all under the pretext that mummy needed a wee after spending all evening on the sofa. Completely unacceptable.

knitsbakesandreads I quite enjoy the B-A-T-H these days. But before they became fun, I found punitive pooping and peeing (with associated ear-splitting screams) to put the parents off quite effectively.

Ok, listen up. I'm 4 now so whilst I truly applaud your efforts (and will pass on to my baby brother those ideas which are new to me) I can give you some further ideas for the future. Honestly, just when you think you've got them trained they break out in new areas!

Once you've escaped the buggy and mastered walking, they'll probably put you on "reins" - a vile way of controlling your movements and preventing exploration of main roads. A good way of dealing with this is to wait until you're passing a crowd of sympathetic-looking people then ask plaintively why you are being treated like a doggy. If you can manage a few tears, that helps. Saying "but I's a girl mumma" gets bonus points.

And don't give up on their sleep training! Stay strong! Eventually "potty training" (so much potential fun in itself) will be extended to night times. They cannot ignore a bare-bummed shout of "weewee"

You can repeat this up to a dozen times per night. Catch up on your sleep during the day. Preferably during any paid-for activity. They need to know who is boss!

My mummy enjoys it when I chew on the wires running from the TV to those holes in the wall. Every time I do it she gets so excited, she runs over to me shouting and flapping her arms and sweeps me into her arms for a cuddle. I love seeing her little, excited face.

She's taught daddy the game too. Family fun for all.

If you have an older sibling I would recommend teaching him/ her to tip over your high chair, walker or pushchair as parents really seem to enjoy this game as well.

I'm only 9 months old but I'd like to share with you my new top tip for making your mama dance all excitedly (she made such a racket, she must have been thrilled!)

You sit outside with her and the elderly dog, then wait for the phone to go. As soon as she jumps up to answer it you persuade elderly dog to do her business near you and then you smear it all over yourself.

I have honestly never seen mama run so quickly, then she sort of danced around me trying to pull my hands away from my mouth. Plus you get to then have one of the exciting showers instead of a bath (so much more fun)

Nanunanu, do you think I could train our cat to do the same?

I must admit I love the race mummy and daddy to the litter tray game. Ahhh...happy times!

I also find refusing to sit in the jumperoo, but demanding to stand next to it so you can still play with all the bells and whistles really keeps mama on her toes. I mean, I obviously can't hold myself upright and the jumperoo rocks around so much that it is only natural that mama should fulfil her role and stand crouched over me holding me up. If she wants to sit down I scream and if she tries to entertain me with some other tatty toy I scream.

it's good for her back to get used to the crouched over position as that is how I intend to keep her whilst I demand support for cruising round. I mean a girl can't be expected to learn to crawl between her toys. crawling is for losers, Mama is there to hold my hands so I can cruise between areas of the lounge and if she wont hold my hands I shall make her. She has to learn it's my way or no way. So frustrating, but I'll have broken her by the end of the week I'm sure

2 words for you... Learn to take your clothes off.
This game is especially fun when mama is in a rush to get out of the house in the mornings. She slightly hysterically praises my dexterity while also sobbing about being late for the 3rd time in a week. Gets me every time 😉

paddypants cats are harder to train, ours has recently started to defecate next to the litter tray rather than in it. I'm thinking it's a short step from next to the litter tray to next to me and I'm working on it. cat faeces smell so much more interesting than dog I think we might be onto a winner there with even more parental dancing

Ooooh Nanunanu, I have that to look forward to! So far, my canine interactions are limited to not being allowed to kick him if he sits next to us when I'm eating, and eying up his smelly old toys. But I see that once I get moving, he and I will be able to have a blast!

The hiding game my big sister who's 3 says the best hiding place is in your nappy just before you fill it mummies get really excited when you do that. and my older dbs say if you think door handles is fun putting things through the hole in the poor that spits paper is even more fun especially if it's mummies phone purse stuff or even better keys.

I'm 1 and only just started to stand and cruise my mummy loves me to wake her by standing up and throwing my bottle at her, I won't sleep unless I cuddle an empty bottle I've heard her say that's it's a strange thing to do.

Oh and the cold stare at strangers you get a better response if you hold the stare then scream as loud as possible and even better if you can push a few tears out too. This makes my mummy go Bright red which then makes me giggle when the said strangers have walked away.

Thanks Nanunanu, hopefully I can train our cat to stop using the litter tray. She did once miss the litter tray and mummy's friend's little boy found it and brought it to show us. Mummy went pink with delight at that one!

Plus the cat loves me, she just sits there while I pull her fur out and poke her eyes. (Mummy gets upset but I don't know why, the cat's clearly enjoying herself.) I just need to train mummy to understand that when I pull her hair and poke her eyes it's a sign of my love.

I'm a little bit older and wiser than some of you, so let me give you some stunning advice for when mummy and daddy start wanting you to use the potty instead of just going in your nappy like a normal person.

If you're in the shops, and mummy is looking at something boring like shoes, then just start shouting "wee wee" she'll take you immediately to a room, where in exchange for urine you can splash about with water for a few minutes and get soaked. She'll stop taking you after the second or third shop, but teach her a lesson by doing a humongous wee in your car seat despite not having any fluids for an hour and having only just gone 20 minutes previous. That'll show her.

It's not just you bairns who get aggro. I'm 3.

Just this weekend, a beautiful Sunday morning in fact. The birds were tweeting and I decided to get up a little earlier than usual and make the most of my day.

Mummy and my lovely step daddy looked very surprised to see me strolling in through the wedged-closed bedroom door at 7am. I've no idea why it was wedged closed, surely it should stay open in case there's a fire or something.

To add insult to injury my normally active and very fun daddy picked me up for the day, took me to his house and seemed a lot less happy to play "rarrs" and chase me around the garden for 8 hours.

I overheard him telling mummy, when he dropped me back home, that he will never have a hangover ever again. He's going to stop drinking apparently.

Mummy laughed a hollow laugh, said something about "karma" being a "bitch" under her breath.

Grown ups confuse me.

Brian were your mummy and step daddy doing that weird cuddle thing that grown ups like to do behind the wedged shut door?

it's dirty and rude and only leads to siblings who try to steal the attention that is rightfully yours.

take my tip and demand to cosleep (if you ever sleep at all at 9 months). That will put them right off