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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU re hospital appointment

36 replies

welshpixie · 16/05/2016 12:37

I have a hospital appointment at 4 today, it is to check my eyes as i am diabetic. The problem is I don't want to go, I just want to be left alone at the moment. My husband died in February, very suddenly, and I am struggling to get myself together. Unfortunately I have postponed this twice once because it was straight after his death and then because my dm was rushed to hospital the morning of the next appointment. I have had enough of doctors and hospitals for the time being.
Would there be any come back if I just don't turn up.

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 16/05/2016 12:38

I'm so sorry about your loss. Wouldn't it be better to get it out of the way. If you don't go then how will you know if you need any treatment? I have relatives with diabetes and wouldn't mess with it.

BigApple11 · 16/05/2016 12:38

Can you ring them and explain what you've written here? I think it's better to try and tell them rather than just not turn up. Sorry to hear about your husband. Take each day as it comes.

MillionToOneChances · 16/05/2016 12:39

You might not get another appointment without a huge amount of effort as you would have completely wasted this one - they would not be able to use the time for another patient without more notice.

I know you're having a rough time, but going through the motions might help?

Original poster

welshpixie · 16/05/2016 12:42

Thanks for your kind words, I know I should go but I am worried about what they all find and am fed up with doctors treating people with type 2 diabetes as if it is their fault.

OP posts:

bigbluebus · 16/05/2016 12:42

Whatever you decide, you definitely need to ring and speak to the Consultants secretary and explain. If you either don't turn up or just ring bookings and cancel then you are likely to be removed from the list (as you have cancelled 2 previous appointments) and your GP will be informed.

It is important to get your eyes checked if you are diabetic so you really don't want to be removed from the hospital list.

Zazz101 · 16/05/2016 12:43

Sometimes it may help to get these things done. It will be a job that you won't have to do again for a while, and the more you postpone it, the worse it may be.

You may feel a sense on accomplishment if you do manage it. Is there someone that can go with you ?

Thinking of you, and I really hope you do make it to your appointment.

ClutterofStarlings · 16/05/2016 12:43

Definitely better to tell them, the more notice you give the better. If you don't turn up they may just reschedule you, so it's worth having the conversation or you'll be doing it all again in a few weeks.
If you can bear to, I would just go, take a good book for the waiting room and line up something nice after, but I do see where you're coming from.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 16/05/2016 12:44

Please just go. It will be a lot stress to get it out of the way today that have to re-organise and explain why you don't want to go.

RueDeWakening · 16/05/2016 12:47

Please go. Don't worry about what they'll find - if they do find any untoward vessels, there are treatment options, starting with laser zaps to cauterise them.

I've had a decade of eye treatment that's now to t1 diabetes, nobody ever told me they had ways to treat problems until I needed them. Far less scary to know there are options IME.

Sorry for your loss, and I hope you have a good outcome with the eyes - pm me if you want to know about what I've had done though.

TheCrumpettyTree · 16/05/2016 12:48

Please don't just not turn up, hundreds of hours are wasted every year by patients not turning up, they could offer that time to someone else. Plus it will go on your notes as you didn't attend. If you can't face going at least phone and tell them. I'm sorry for your loss, I can see why you've had enough. Ring and explain.

Original poster

welshpixie · 16/05/2016 12:49

I will go, there is no-one to go with me (never thought I would be saying that). I think I will book a taxi as I will not be able to drive after and I can't face the bus up there, too many points to jump out and do a runner :)
Thanks for the support it was just what I needed.

OP posts:

ozymandiusking · 16/05/2016 12:55

Will you be driving or using public transport? I'm not sure whether you are aware they put drops in your eyes which enlarge your pupil, which allows more light in. Therefore you need to take sunglasses , and you are not supposed to drive.
Even if it isn't particularly sunny do wear them.
Please go for your test and get it out of the way.Ii know one has the feeling that type2 diabetes is one's own fault, but that really doesn't come across at the eye test. Sorry to hear about your problems. x

Nairsmellsbad · 16/05/2016 13:00

Please go, you need to look after yourself

MatildaTheCat · 16/05/2016 13:01

Glad you are going to go. Looking after yourself has never been more important. Maybe you could post us updates on here to keep you occupied whilst you wait and we can keep you company.

Can you reward yourself with coffee and a diabetic friendly snack afterwards?

DoomGloomAndKaboom · 16/05/2016 13:03

I'm glad you're going. Get it over and done with and plan something very nice for yourself this afternoon.

At least buy yourself a bunch of flowers on the way home.

Sometimes the simplest of things can seem massive and impossible after a bereavement. I'm very sorry to hear about your husband.

situatedknowledge · 16/05/2016 13:03

Look after yourself by going, and then celebrate the huge achievement of having done it (and got it out of the way) afterwards. Getting a taxi is a great way to make it feel less difficult.

Original poster

welshpixie · 16/05/2016 13:12

Thanks for all your motivation. Part of the problem is I know there are changes in my eye. The original optician was lovely and you are right it is better to get this over with. I have had type 2 since I was 25, in those days it was called old age diabetes, not what you want to hear when you are that young.
I know what will happen as far as the photography is concerned and I have sunglasses at the ready, I am just a bit wary about the treatment as the optician was talking about needles in my eyes URGHH

OP posts:

RueDeWakening · 16/05/2016 13:58

I've never had a needle in my eye as a result of retinopathy! First stage treatment is dilating drops and retinal laser - they cauterise bits, and it stops the vessels growing where they shouldn't be.

PLEASE don't worry about needles!

Original poster

welshpixie · 16/05/2016 14:43

rue thanks for that I don't have problem with needles in general, but in my eye, yuck!!

OP posts:

AmpersandRea · 16/05/2016 14:47

I hope all goes well for you welsh pixie

Geordiegirl79 · 16/05/2016 14:50

Sending you warm wishes for your appointment and I am very sorry for your loss.

Original poster

welshpixie · 16/05/2016 21:47

Well I went and as most of you said it wasn't too bad. There are some changes to my left eye, but the doctor is in no rush to do anything as he feels it is not urgent. On the down side my pupils are still like saucers and the bloody sun was shining.
Overall though not too bad and thank you all xx

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 16/05/2016 21:51

Well done you!
Hoping you don't need treatment any time soon.

rempy · 16/05/2016 21:53

Well done pixie. Job ticked off the list, I hope next time it's a little bit easier going on your own.

Osolea · 16/05/2016 21:55

Well done for being brave enough to go, I'm so sorry you lost your husband

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