AIBU: to think I can do this myself?

[garlicbreathing]

I'd posted earlier in the month about my husband leaving me.
I am 25, work full time in a job I love, I take home £1200 a month.
I'm trying to sort out a long term plan, which is currently looking at my husband buying me out of our flat and I would then use this as a deposit on a new place.

AIBU to think I can do this myself? My family are keen for me to move back in with them (long term) and my husband has passed comment about me doing that too.

My only concern is financial. We have decided a figure of £10,000 which would buy me out the flat, and I have insisted he pays for the fees the divorce and solicitors would incur.

I have been looking at flats in an area which I would be looking to live in, some are quite cheap at about £60,000, but I will look at up to £80,000 (online mortgage calculator has said at my top range I could get a mortgage for 80k) so with a deposit, that gives me a bit of financial leeway. The only thing which concerns me is my only debt of a super high car payment (which I took out in the belief I was secure in my marriage and we were planning a family). I am planning to hand this back to the finance company after Christmas as I will be half way through my repayments then.

I am trying to be as prepared as possible before going full steam ahead with this and making appointment with mortgage advisers and viewing flats, but am I setting myself up for a fail?

If I were you I'd use the 10k to pay off the 7k loan. Move in with your folks for a year and save every penny you can. Add it to the 3k. Then apply for a mortgage in a years time.

The issue is, I still need a car! So even if I sell the car, then I will need to still find another one. The one I have, albeit is expensive and bigger than what I need, but it is a reliable car. I have had a cheap car in the past, and with repairs it ended up costing me a fortune. I don't want to end up in that situation again!
If I can still get a mortgage with the loan, then it's not a huge issue, I think I can still afford everything on my own. But if my parents were willing to help out (if they can, and are happy to!), I am happy to pay them off a lower amount each month, but I will see what this solicitor says tomorrow before I discuss this with my parents.

You sound like you're in a horrible situation, not of your own making.

When I was your age (er 3 years ago) I was living with my parents on a similar wage (less actually). I saved 4k and bought a 55k flat with a 5% deposit. Admittedly I didn't have the car payments but if you can sort that out you'd be ok. If you can even half the car loan or something it would bring it down. You've got furniture, there's plenty of help to buy property about and that isa I know nothing about. You can do it!

You might be able to consolidate the loan into the mortgage (we did this) but it would mean moving your budget a little lower

I'm happy to move my budget lower. Found a beautiful one bedroom online today for £64000, and I'd be thrilled with something like that. So not set on getting the maximum available to me, ideally I would prefer something cheaper to have a little extra breathing room a month money-wise.

Hi Garlic
You might have more options thank you think. There is a govt help to buy scheme that you would be eligible for after you get out of the other mortgage.
Pm me if you want me to give you details of my mortgage advisor. He is really friendly and is happy to chat on the phone with advice. I call him all the time with various scenarios for me and my friends:)

Have you spoken with a mortgage consultant? You usually get a free meeting with one where they will basically take all your information and do a mortgage run/check without doing a credit check to find the best option for you. We have done this recently a couple of times as we are looking to move house and learnt a lot - such as HSBC don't offer mortgages to people who dont earn the exact amount each month so no bonuses etc. There is no obligation to go with them but they will give you an honest assessment of what you can afford and where is most likely to be a good choice for a mortgage.

Good luck i hope you manage to land on your feet!

I have a contact for a mortgage advisor who had been great with getting my brother a mortgage last year. I've been waiting until my ex meets with the solicitor as he does not yet have the confirmation that it is going to be as simple as him taking my name off the deeds and mortgage. If he needs to go down the route of remortgaging, then it will be complicated as our flat is shared equity and now worth more, so he may need to remortgage for more and he may not be able to do this. So if that is the case, then we will be looking to sell and all my plans will be back to square one.

I will manage to land on my feet, and even if that takes a few years, I have the support of my family and I am so grateful for that!

On the emotional side I think it's actually a positive thing you have chickened out! Do you know why? Because you are feeling emotions and dealing with them He doesn't seem to be at all. You are going to come out the other side of this just fine. Hang in there!