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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU: to think I can do this myself?

59 replies

garlicbreathing · 16/05/2016 07:59

I'd posted earlier in the month about my husband leaving me.
I am 25, work full time in a job I love, I take home £1200 a month.
I'm trying to sort out a long term plan, which is currently looking at my husband buying me out of our flat and I would then use this as a deposit on a new place.

AIBU to think I can do this myself? My family are keen for me to move back in with them (long term) and my husband has passed comment about me doing that too.

My only concern is financial. We have decided a figure of £10,000 which would buy me out the flat, and I have insisted he pays for the fees the divorce and solicitors would incur.

I have been looking at flats in an area which I would be looking to live in, some are quite cheap at about £60,000, but I will look at up to £80,000 (online mortgage calculator has said at my top range I could get a mortgage for 80k) so with a deposit, that gives me a bit of financial leeway. The only thing which concerns me is my only debt of a super high car payment (which I took out in the belief I was secure in my marriage and we were planning a family). I am planning to hand this back to the finance company after Christmas as I will be half way through my repayments then.

I am trying to be as prepared as possible before going full steam ahead with this and making appointment with mortgage advisers and viewing flats, but am I setting myself up for a fail?

OP posts:
zipzap · 16/05/2016 21:38

I'd make sure that you get two or three valuations on the flat, work out who has paid what and what's fair.

(Although maybe do the sums first and if £10K is a great offer when you should be getting £5K then say great, thank you very much. Wink)

If prices have been rising in your area for flats you might discover that the value of the flat is £40K higher than it was when you purchased it - in which case, £10K is a bad deal.

Not surprised your stbxh wants you to move back to your parents - means you don't want money out of the flat to buy a new one and you won't be looking at the amount he is trying to diddle you out of potentially. It's got absolutely nothing tod do with him at all where you want to go and why, there's a reason that exH are called X!!

Original poster
garlicbreathing · 16/05/2016 21:41

We live on a new build estate, so I think the 10k has been worked out as pretty fair, possibly that I'm even getting a better deal out of it than I should. He is getting his money to buy me out from a loan from a family member, he doesn't have this money himself.

OP posts:
Original poster
garlicbreathing · 17/05/2016 20:38

Having such a wobble tonight with everything with the car. It turns out the balance still left on my loan is £7900, which is insane!

OP posts:
ChocolateChangesEverything · 17/05/2016 20:41

Did you find out the interest rate?

Original poster
garlicbreathing · 17/05/2016 20:45

There are two percentages, there is a 5% a year rate of interest which apply to the credit agreement. And Annual percentage rate of charge (APR) is 11.1% fixed. I'm not sure what these mean..

OP posts:
ChocolateChangesEverything · 17/05/2016 20:45

A personal loan with a lower interest rate may be better?

Are there redemption penalties if you pay it off early?

Or borrow the monies from parents and pay them a much more reasonable amount per month (which won't effect the amount you can borrow for your mortgage) as any official debts will be cleared.

You can do this and will be so better off eventually than the life you were living 2 months ago oblivious to H's intentions.

Original poster
garlicbreathing · 17/05/2016 20:48

Planning to go see my parents on Friday and can discuss this with them then if they are in a position to help me out. Stupid bloody car Angry Lesson learned.
And yes, certainly better off without H. Just a bit anxious to be so independent.

OP posts:
Original poster
garlicbreathing · 17/05/2016 20:50

Unfortunately I cant find a lot of my paperwork with the terms and conditions in it. So I need to wait until I can speak to someone from Barclays about any fees or penalties.

OP posts:
ChocolateChangesEverything · 17/05/2016 21:00

The balance owing is often different (higher) from a redemption figure.

Because you have paid mainly interest in the first few months/years of the loan and not much capital so the capital outstanding appears high. If you ask for a redemption figure this should be lower as the interest will be spread out over the term and a final figure worked out for you. Hope that makes sense!

ChocolateChangesEverything · 17/05/2016 21:03

From your previous posts you are honestly so mature and level headed for not just your age - any age!! You are bound to feel anxious, your life has changed pretty rapidly and is now facing a totally different direction! I'm so glad you are moving onwards and upwards. He will see losing you as one of the biggest mistakes of his life in time. And you will find someone to be decent and honest and worthy of your love.

You have so much fabulous stuff ahead of you!! Wine

sepa · 17/05/2016 21:16

My god my brain is adding info to threads. I thought your OP said you were pregnant!

Agreed with what others have said, can you move in with family short term to pay off the car? Also, is the £10k a fair amount for him to give you for the flat? Or should you be entitled to more?

Original poster
garlicbreathing · 17/05/2016 21:29

£6999 is my settlement figure. Is that the same as a redemption figure chocolate?

OP posts:
Original poster
garlicbreathing · 17/05/2016 21:32

I have discussed with my H about the new information I have with the car. He will discuss things with the solicitor on Thursday which I am going to go to also, but seemed open to then combining both of our loans and upping his offer to me by £1300. So if the solicitor thinks this is a fair offer, then I might be inclined to accept that.

OP posts:
Original poster
garlicbreathing · 17/05/2016 21:38

I will be planning to move in with my parents in the short term, so it might be worthwhile to look at putting any extra money I have into paying off the car early so my debts are cleared. I think I could comfortably save £700 a month, which still allows me to pay off my current bills and a little extra to still have a life with. So even if I do that for 5/6 months, I should be able to pay off a large chunk of the debt.

OP posts:
ChocolateChangesEverything · 17/05/2016 22:12

Yes, I think that is the same thing. I suppose the silver lining is that you should have a fairly new and reliable car for a while in the future.

Sounds like moving in with parents and paying stuff off is a good plan. 6 months isn't that long really and you will be in a great position financially by then.

It will all work out. One day at a time when the emotions come in waves.

ChocolateChangesEverything · 17/05/2016 22:14

Be warned that the solicitor is working for him (?) so isn't necessarily going to have your best interests at heart. Take what you can from the meeting, tell them you need to consider things - don't after to anything at that point, then let things digest/get your own advice.

ChocolateChangesEverything · 17/05/2016 22:15
  • don't agree To anything at that point
Original poster
garlicbreathing · 17/05/2016 23:03

Thanks Chocolate.
It is just a consultation at this point, so I don't know if the solicitor will be working for him as such yet, but I will take everything with a pinch of salt, and get my own solicitor if I think I need it.

OP posts:
ChocolateChangesEverything · 18/05/2016 00:15

Good luck!

Hydroshield · 18/05/2016 17:59

Hi Garlic, I followed your other thread.
Just wanted to wish you good luck for tomorrow.

Original poster
garlicbreathing · 18/05/2016 18:06

Well I've totally chickened out of going tomorrow. I don't think I will be able to stay as calm and collected listening to him talking about everything as calm as he has been, I'm still so angry at him at times!
I will listen to what he has to say and either seek my own advice after that, or see if I am happy with what he is suggesting.

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 18/05/2016 18:22

Not sure if this was mentioned earlier but are you splitting the furniture for the flat? If not I would be asking for some money to cover that too if you bought it together.

Might be a long shot but you could see if you have any ppi. I had a company do it for me because I couldn't fathom it. They took 20% but I got £1800 which I wouldn't have got anyway and if there was nothing I wouldn't have to pay them. You might be the generation that was all aware of ppi etc so might not have signed what I did etc

Hydroshield · 18/05/2016 18:23

That's understandable, especially if he's still putting everything on you.

Original poster
garlicbreathing · 18/05/2016 18:29

Furniture will be split. So I will be taking my fair share, especially the things I want, and leaving him with everything I don't.

Don't think I have PPI, only got this loan 2 years ago, at the height of the ppi scandal!

OP posts:
plimsolls · 18/05/2016 18:30

Well done OP. I followed some of your old thread and have been impressed with how you have managed everything.

In case it's helpful: I had a car under a similar agreement to yours and I needed to get rid of it as I unexpectedly couldn't afford it. When I spoke to the loan people (Santander), they said the best thing to do was to make a private sale then pay off the loan to them. Alternatively, I could give the car to them and they would auction it but I would be liable for any shortfall (and obv they wouldn't bother trying to get a decent price so a private sale would get more money for it).

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