To be angry with my parents/ DH

[jeanie508]

Today my father needed to move DH's car which was parked in their driveway to get theirs out. DH gave him the keys and told him to move it. In the process of this, ny father managed to scrape the front of the car along the wall, ruining the paintwork and knocking off the number plate in the process. I was clearly very angry with my parents and said that they need to pay to have it fixed. They refused to do this, stating it is his car. Anyway, long story short this escalated into quite a fraught argument which when I tried to involve DH he simply shrugged and said "it's done, we'll just have to fix it." And refused to take my side or get involved at all. I think he is annoyed but simply isn't confrontational. AIBU to be annoyed at my parents and DH's lack of support?

Garlic I've lost the reg plate off a classic car and didn't notice I didn't scratch the car, bump the car or have an accident. I just left with a reg plate and came back without one although the backing panel of the reg plate was still there

It shouldn't matter if it is 70k or 7k - the money is not the issue. It's the fact that it is your property.

Does it make it better if it is cheaper? No.

So you got an uninsured driver to move your £70k car? Lesson learned.

Was he insured to drive the car?

It sounds like your partner expects your parents to behave badly and can't be bothered to argue with them about it.

Are your parents usually knobs? Because I get the impression this is typical for them.

Yes, they should pay but since they did it, lied about it and then said they wouldn't pay - I guess they're not going to.

Yanbu. I would be really angry with my father (or anyone else) who took that stance. Part of me might quite admire my dh's laid back attitude.

I just wonder why on earth your df thinks he's not in the wrong?

Your DH took that risk when he handed over the keys, and responsibility for the car to your father. Your father wasn't asking to borrow the car as a favour, he was moving it because you and your DH were not dressed. Tho' I have done many little jobs in my pyjamas.

In addition, your parents sound aggressive and confrontational.

But it is a step too far to expect your DH to stoke up a row between you and your parents.

I presume you couldn't park anywhere else but really had to block your father in?
And couldn't be arsed to move the car for him?
Pay for the damage, then.

YABVU to be angry with your husband - he hasn't done anything wrong.

It sounds like your dad is embarrassed that he lost control of such an expensive car when all he was doing is moving it out of the driveway. Are you sure his health is okay - eyesight, reflexes, etc? Sounds like he might be a bit ashamed that he made such a stupid mistake and therefore didn't know how to tell you, especially when the car is worth so much money.

I mean, yes, your dad should pay for the damage, but if you can afford to fix it (which you clearly can if you can afford a car for 70k) without it massively impacting on your finances, then I think in the interests of harmony you should just pay for it, unless you're willing to confront your parents and risk a massive argument/fall out over it.

I don't get why he didn't tell you straight away, but I agree with this-"Your DH took that risk when he handed over the keys, and responsibility for the car to your father."

What I'm thinking is DH's car ?

Unless DH bought the car before you were an item, this is family money , isn't it ?

I would admire my husband's cool in this, much more so than if he was kicking off over it. However your father is very, very wrong.

YANBU. Your dad sounds like a git. I would not trust him with anything valuable again.

I would also insist on an apology and recompense before allowing them to stay at my house again.

I'd expect him to have 'fessed up and offered to pay. Is this normal behaviour for your dad?

Surely this is an insurance matter.

I assume your dad is fully comp, so insured to drive someone else's car with permission. So claim on his insurance. He isn't paying (except a bit in raised premiums) and neither are you. Problem solved with minimal drama.

I'm dying to know what the car is, that's £70k second hand. Is it an Aston?

I assume your dad is fully comp, so insured to drive someone else's car with permission.

Most fully comp policies offer at most third party cover for other vehicles, and even that is hedged around with exceptions. Unless the son's insurance covers the father to drive, it's unlikely there is more than either RTA or third-party cover in place. Unless you're a motor trader driving by way of trade, it's extremely unusual for anyone to have comprehensive cover for vehicles other than their own, and it's equally unusual for anyone to have "anyone over 25" or similar insurance policies.

ricqrdian

And even that '3rd party on other cars' is being phased out. I had to pay slightly extra to keep it as part of my policy.

WTF car is £70k when reasonably new????

These bad boys.
www.autotrader.co.uk/search/used/cars/postcode/sw1a2aa/radius/200/searchcontext/default/year-to/2015/price-from/70000/price-to/70000/onesearchad/new%2Cnearlynew%2Cused/sort/default/page/1/year-from/2013

Was it this one, though?

If you want those sort of cars, isn't it cheaper to buy them from proceeds of crime auctions once the cocaine has been vacuumed out of the upholstery?

A top spec Land Rover can easily cost that much second hand. Or a Porsche Cheyenne.

Your dad should really offer to pay. And yes, his attitude is the problem here, not telling you and then saying he won't pay.

Manatee They can't claim on the insurance because her dad will only be covered for third party damage if he has his own fully comp policy, you can't drive another person's car fully comp.