To take Dc(1) along to a party DC2 was invited too?

[grumpalumpgrumped]

DS2(4) has a party invite today, Dh has been called into work, my parents are away.

Will to take DS1(7) along, with his Ds, some snacks and a book. He knows he can't join in, eat the party food or get a party bag.

Was going to text the mum but don't want to put her in an awkward position?

Would it be worth asking another mum who is staying to keep an eye on your 4yr old so that you & your 7yr old don't have to stay?

Text and ask OP. She may genuinely not care. If she texts back 'the more the merrier' or similar, take him without worrying.

"will see if Mil could have him, don't like asking as they are fairly elderly."

Well if he will be no trouble & ocupied with his ds, seems a perfect solution.

My grandsons having his birthday party today and has invited some school friends,a little girl he's grown up with has been invited only thing is she has a baby sister who's just gone one,and not been invited and because she's over 9 months they want an extra £9

He would be fine at Mil just don't like to put on them, besides they might have plans. Will ask Dh to ask her, she is more likely to be truthful and say if it's an issue.

Thanks all, very grateful Dh doesn't normally work weekends.

If it's a hall party there'll be no extra charges to worry about. I'm sure you won't be the only parent who brings a sibling. Can't see the problem as long as he sits with you, doesn't angle to be a party guest and doesn't demand a party bag.

If your mil can have him then that would be better all round. If he'll happily sit still at the party he'll sit quietly for elderly grandparents much more easily.

Issues with taking him are that the host feels they have to let him join in, other older siblings there just join in so he either feels it's unfair or joins in anyway etc.
If they're playing games, and as a hall party may well be, then 3 years older is a total pain because they really can do a full sweep of winnings. I was at one party where after a couple of games pretty much the entire guest list gave up after a couple of games and sat on the side colouring (which they'd provided for those out of a game) and the 5 siblings continued wanting to play.
Host mother was in tears afterwards. All the sibling parents had said their child would sit quietly on the side and wouldn't expect to join in.

DS went to a school where the parents all thought a children's party meant the whole family was invited. Really annoying! How are you expected to cater for an unknown number of siblings, of disparate ages?

However, I would always expect some parents to want to stay for one reason or another. DD1 had a friend who was very clingy and anxious at parties and her mother would always stay, up until she was about 7. (The friend is now a self-assured 16yo, for the record.) Parents with DC with allergies would also usually want to stay.

In your situation, I would just bring your 7yo along, and explain you had a childcare emergency, and that he will sit with you, and play his DS. The parents may well have a spare space, to ask him to join in, if he wants to.

I text to say dh has been called away and could you bring ds1 with you, what kind of person would say no? Especially with a party in a hall one more kid wont make a difference just make sure he knows not to expect a party bag (if hes lucky there might be spare anyway). I would be surprised if he wasn't allowed to join in I could never expect a child to sit and watch a party and not be allowed in on the fun its so mean.

I used to have to take DDs older siblings along to parties when she was small. It was that or she couldn't attend. They always just sat on the side and I took a packed lunch/tea for them or at soft play I paid for them to go in and bought a meal, sitting separately. I'm not sure how an entertainer could possibly justify charging for a sibling who was sitting with the adults.

Sometimes there is no choice.

I have done this but texted mum in advance and popped some cash in a card in addition to the birthday gift.

The thing is you sometimes get the case where you have 5 or 6 siblings turning up as I did on one occasion that cost us £90 extra. As the host you feel terribly rude excluding them even if they've bought the obligatory DS and lunchbox, and many venues have cottoned on to parents to whom invite one means bring one free.

I understand circumstances often mean you'd need to bring other children, but if it were me I'd phone ahead and make every effort to take the second child out. Most halls I can think of will have a swing park or cafe nearby, go there even for the time the entertainer is doing their thing.

This is fine. I'd still text and say you will have to bring ds1. If she's like most parents I know she will make up a party bag and extra food. I wouldn't leave an 'unavoidable' 7yo out if a hall party.

I'd text and say 'X is really excited about y's party. DH has just been called into work so I'm a bit stuck with z - I hope it's ok if he tags along and sits next to me? - he'll bring a book and snacks to keep him busy and out of the way of the party children.'

Problem solved, lovely Mil will have him and Dh can drop him there on the way to work (30mins drive) so saves me time too.

I see the issue is resolved but was just jumping on to say this happens all the time in my area. Never an issue. In fact, if someone is a no show, the siblings are always invited to join in. I wouldn't worry if it happens again

Glad that it has all worked out for you.