baby turns 1 and hubby does not see point in celebrating

[murphyslaws]

My baby girl is one in a month. I want a small family gathering at home birthday cake etc.

Hubby totally against it as he says it's a waste of money and time. He would rather buy her something better. I just want to celebrate it. Not a party just family.

We are skint so it would be literally cake, sausage rolls and a few pickies . We have put aside a bit of money for present.

AIBU on this or does he have a point.

We celebrated - because we have a large family and I couldn't bear the drip drip of people dropping by to wish her a happy birthday and drop a card or present -

All together gets it over with in a couple of hours -

Ask people to bring a dish - start a tradition - you do cake and drinks -

Or have "afternoon tea" at 3 for finger sandwiches cakes and sausage rolls -

YANBU - we're planning on doing the same for our DD's birthday, just cake and close family :)

as someone said-he doesn't get to make the cdecision
if you want to do it-do it!

we had our ds1 christened on his first birthday and had all the families over

ds2 was christened at 5 months so we had a get together then and then another on his first birthday

Life needs milestones and rituals and markers

do it!

When DC1 was one we had a family meet up at soft play. One baby and a lot of adults!! And a cake. It was lovely and the photos are v special as great gran has since died.

When DC2 was 1 we had a million people round with their kids which was also lovely.

I'd much rather do stuff than have stuff. Parties always best presents IMO.

Don't get me wrong of course if I want to do it I will. However I just can't really fathom his reasoning. And surly him wanting to do something is better than just going ahead and saying tough

The only way it would cost £50 is if you were buying alcohol - I wouldn't think of that for a first birthday party.

My DD is 14 and I remember very clearly her 1st birthday tea with family. It was very special. Yanbu.

Is he a bit introverted and just doesn't like parties?

I agree £50 is a decent amount that could go towards a present, especially if you're skint, and that amount might be making him balk a bit. I reckon you could do what you're suggesting for about £20-30 depending on if you go for the £4 cake or the £10 cakes. And remembering that people who come will probably bring a present too.

Balloons don't cost much if you get the normal kind or even just printed with "Happy Birthday", doesn't have to be foil or helium ones. You can get nice ones which are cheap. I even had some with LEDs inside which DS loved at about age 1. You'd probably only need to spend a couple of pounds.

Sausage rolls etc shouldn't cost more than £15 maximum really, could even do for £5-10. Lots of cheap options here - cucumber and carrot sticks with a dip, ham/cheese sandwiches cut into little triangles, rice crispie or cornflake cakes (melt cheap chocolate over saucepan of boiling water, stir in cereal, place into cupcake cases). Buy sausage rolls frozen, they are cheaper and taste nicer too.

Banner to say Happy Birthday you can make from paper and a bit of ribbon, or to buy these are about £1.50 on amazon.

And YY - bottle of orange squash, no alcohol needed.

I was lucky to be able to adopt my lovely DS just before his 1st birthday so he has photos of us together celebrating with a small cake and a candle and a train and some shoes. There was another child at the orphanage he lived in who was one the week before. Myself and one of the carers sang happy birthday (one in Russian one in English) to him quietly. That was it - that was his birthday.

Celebrate the passing moments in life every time you can.

Oh Kew that's so lovly but so sad at same time.

We are very low key about birthdays. We always have a small family gathering with a cake and candles, though. DD2 turned one on the day we completed on the sale and purchase of our houses... she still had a little "do" at my parents' house. He sounds a bit joyless tbh.

Well done on getting through the first year

I didnt buy Dd a present for her 1st birthday. She got a second hand trike from us which we were given free. We had a few niggles and party games/singing at home for friends and family. Didn't cost much and DD enjoyed it.

If it helps we didn't buy her a 1st christmas present either... just a few cheap bits in her stocking.

It was both lovely and sad but it's the sum total of all these moments that make up a life in the end. No it's not the end of the world not celebrating a 1st birthday but I have seen children who never celebrate their birthday and am now firmly of the opinion that if you can, you should.

DS will not remember his little charity shop train or his first ever pair of shoes but he can see the photos of him surrounded by the people who love him and it's no small thing.

My little boy only got one birthday, his first, he died suddenly and unexpected in his sleep 25 days later. I'm so glad we had a little party for him, it was just family and nothing major.
I agree with Kew, if you can you should x

Oh Dexter that terrible X I'm so sorry for you

So sorry to hear that Dexter.