baby turns 1 and hubby does not see point in celebrating

[murphyslaws]

My baby girl is one in a month. I want a small family gathering at home birthday cake etc.

Hubby totally against it as he says it's a waste of money and time. He would rather buy her something better. I just want to celebrate it. Not a party just family.

We are skint so it would be literally cake, sausage rolls and a few pickies . We have put aside a bit of money for present.

AIBU on this or does he have a point.

Lilets unfortunately her grandparents have all passed away. So it makes it more important for me to do

He's being a miserable sod, isn't he? We didn't have a party for DS's 1st birthday. Actually, he's 3 now and we have never had a big party, but we've always had a small family gathering, and I make the cake and snacks.
For his 1st birthday, we put bunting up and balloons in the living room, and I decorated his highchair with tiny bunting. I got the bunting and balloons from Tiger, and Poundland. I made him cupcakes. And then over the weekend, we had grandparents and some friends visit, and we just had tea and cake. It doesn't have to be super expensive, but I think it's nice to mark the occasion. And have some pics for the photo album!

DH and I went really overboard with DS1's 1st birthday- got a cake made specially and invited loads of people. In hindsight, I wouldn't do that again because it was expensive and DS1 was a bit overwhelmed by it all. We were much more low key with the other two.
But I can't imagine not doing anything because it is a landmark and it's nice to have a little celebration. Tell him to stop being a misery guts.

You don't need to 'pester' him, surely? Just tell him you're having a few family members around to watch your baby blow out her candle and get cake in her ears. It's hardly some Liberace-style extravaganza!

We had a family party - buffet food, cake. It was a lovely day. I bought a couple of supermarket pizzas. Made a few salads and dips. My parents and PILs brought a few things to eat too. Doesn't have to be expensive. She had a great time and family enjoyed it. The only present we bought was a cheap plastic tea set. 8 months later it is her most played with toy. They don't need big gifts at this age.

Few family, cake, a large balloon and a cardboard box.

She'll have a lovely time and pictures to savour the memory when she's older. My girls love to look at their small birthday pics and see what family were there etc

You should definitely celebrate. Sounds like you have the perfect idea and aren't going mad at all - just right for a 1st birthday. These are the things that memories are made of, and I still remember both my DDs 1st really fondly (and they were both just small family gatherings on a budget). And I know it's a bit morbid, but you never know how long any older members of your family will be around - so these things are really really important.

Just do it! She will be getting gifts from the people that come, a cake is a fiver and few butties and sausage rolls cost very little.

Just tell him you're doing it, and to cheer the fuck up!

YANBU.

I don't know anyone who hasn't got a couple of pictures of their DCs first birthday and every one of them has just been a small birthday tea with a cake and some finger food for everyone. I have pictures of the DSs with much loved and sadly missed relatives from their first birthdays, it's lovely.

If you were thinking of booking out the Orangery at Kensington Palace and bringing in caterers then you WBU, but a small family thing, nope.

Tell your DH to stop being a misery-guts.

Stop calling it a party and start calling it 'having A B and C round for the afternoon'.

I do think some people go over the top on first birthdays, but what you are suggesting is far from OTT and would not cost much money or time. Have it mid afternoon and just invite people over "for a piece of cake" so no one's expecting a full on party.

I have a couple of male relatives who a bit like this about babies - it's almost as if they don't quite get the point of them! But they are fab with kids who can talk and are potty trained. Maybe your DH will be like that.

We had a little tea party with immediate family to celebrate surviving the first year. Ordered a nice cake and some lidl prosecco with nibblies. Our families were brill the first year just for supporting us and being as excited as us for every milestone so we wanted to thank them.
Only got her a small present though.

To add, do you think he might be thinking it's an imposition on people asking them to come?

That is quite sad to be honest. Make a little cake, have some chums round and celebrate it as you want. I still have the pic of me at my 1st [47 years ago] blowing the candles out. I don't remember it but love the photo.

Do it. As an auntie, I loved being asked to be there to celebrate little ones birthdays. First birthday is important, of course it is, and you and she will treasure the photos in years to come.
What you have in mind sounds perfect to me.

Murphylaws Do you have baby group friends? How about having a little tea party one afternoon near your baby's birthday with a few of them? Not much food needed, just a few baby snacks, birthday cake and coffee for the Mums. That way you won't be wasting DH's time, seeing as he thinks a party is a waste of time.

I'm another one who thinks you shouldn't have to pester him to celebrate your own daughter's first birthday. Do it yourself if he's not interested. Let him take care of the presents.

YANBU He's being a misery. Go for it at home, we actually did a hall for my daughter's 1st and 2nd birthday as our family live miles away and there are lots of them who would stay for (many many) hours if invited to the house. For us it was less stressful to go out!
If it was me I'd just arrange it anyway as a picnic tea and have a go at the cake yourself there are loads of recipes and tips on here. (Baking novice here who produced a 3 tier masterpiece with a newborn in a sling using YouTube and bbcgoodfood! )

I think quality time with family and friends is as important if not more important than toys and presents. A little party would be for all of you, not just your DD, and would be a happy event to remember - especially if you take photos. The value of that will last much longer than the toys or presents she gets.

Your plans sound modest and I think it would be lovely. So just tell your partner that's what you're doing!

Is it the cost of the cake he's objecting to? You can get some pretty ones in supermarkets if you don't want to pay the prices of an independent bakery.

Curly the Caterpillar, £4 in Tesco and it's cute!

I think a lot depends on the child tbh. My dd walked at 9 months so got lots out of a bouncy castle etc at her 1st birthday. Other parties I have been to that hired soft play stuff were pointless because they weren't walking.

He is being a misery if all you are wanting is a few sarnies and a cake with family. If his issue is money can you ask grandparents to bring something? Make the cake yourself?

Just looking on MySupermarket:

Some pink sparkly looking ones in Asda for about the same. Asda's two tier blossom is also lovely, £12.

Sainbury's has Me to You for £3.50 and a couple of princess/flower "pretty" cakes for £10 and even a rainbow one for £11. Cute pigs in the mud one for £8.

Waitrose £7 butterfly cake

Bertie that's what I'm thinking. Probably about £50 to do a little gathering. Cake, balloon, sausage rolls.

I think it would be lovly

You could probably do it for less than £50, you could ask guests to bring some food or drink. I think the key is to find a budget you can afford and your DH will be happy with or at least not object to too strongly.