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AIBU?

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Original poster

to ask your worst ever chat-up line

47 replies

rockchick78 · 14/05/2016 08:26

New poster here so be gentle!

Not too long ago I was out with friends, on my way back to the group from the toilet a man stopped me, licked his finger, wiped it on my top and said "now let me help you out of those wet clothes"

What's the worst one you've heard?

OP posts:
BadLad · 14/05/2016 08:32

That's ancient - it was laughed at in the 90s.

I think the worst I've heard is in the Peep Show, when Jez is trying it on with Hans' Japanese girlfriend, and says something like "Yoko Onto or Yoko Oh Yes?".

EponasWildDaughter · 14/05/2016 09:07

Him: Have you got any Irish in you?

Me (naive 16 year old): No?

Him: Do you want some?

Hmm Never fell for that one again!
x2boys · 14/05/2016 09:19

A man back in my clubbing days asked if I wanted a drink so I accepted half a lager then asked if I wanted to go back to his I declined Hmm

londonrach · 14/05/2016 09:26

Him: do you want to succeed

Me very young at 18 and no idea what he meant as tbh i dont think i heard properly due to loud music but very polite so answered yes

Him and group and friends couldnt stop laughing saying suck seed get it! My friends and i werent impressed and left them on the dance floor laughing. Didnt fall for that one again! Also might have been my one attempt of going to a nightclub!

blueskywithclouds · 14/05/2016 09:26

"I want to lick your face"- a complete stranger at the bar.

AnotherTimeMaybe · 14/05/2016 09:30

"Do you own a patisserie shop cause you're sweeeeeeeeet" Hmm

StUmbrageinSkelt · 14/05/2016 09:30

That dress would look lovely on my bedroom floor...

RoboticSealpup · 14/05/2016 09:32

A guy was trying to catch my eye at the bar on a night out, years ago. When I looked back at him, he smiled and said (weirdly) in a flirty tone: "I'm a dentist. I could fix those teeth for you". (I have slightly wonky front teeth).

I think he had read that pick-up artist book. There's a move called "negging", where you try to make the woman feel bad about herself so she'll be more flattered for the attention.

I put my middle finger up at him.

DaphneCanDoBetterThanFred · 14/05/2016 09:34

It's not the worst I've heard, but the worst I've said if that counts?
"Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like you landed on your face."
Can't take any credit for it, heard it on tv once. But it worked for getting rid of a creep! Smile

Bringiton2016 · 14/05/2016 09:35

"Are you a traffic warden, cos you've got fine written all over you!"

Oysterbabe · 14/05/2016 09:40

You don't sweat as much as most fat birds.

claireL1991 · 14/05/2016 09:44

How about the good old..

See this? (As he rubs his top with his fingers) that's boyfriend material that is.

Confused
FamousSeamus · 14/05/2016 09:53

'You'd give a snowman a horn'. Somewhere in a pub in rural Limerick circa 1990.

BadLad · 14/05/2016 09:55

I'm always willing to help a woman in distress, and this dress, and dis dress, and dis dress...

peggyundercrackers · 14/05/2016 10:02

This was a classic when I was young. It was said when a young man was very close to you dancing a slow dance at the end of the night

"can you smell my brut"
"no"
Rubbing himself against you he would then say "can you feel it rubbing against your leg"

Anyone who used that deserved a slap.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 14/05/2016 10:04

To my friend, after having chatted to her for a bit;

"It's nice you don't let being a size 14 get your way".

Still don't really know what he meant!

Waffles80 · 14/05/2016 10:05

Friend of a friend who had also recently been dumped:

"Seeing as we're both on the scrap heap of opportunity...."

Shock

I politely declined.

GeekLove · 14/05/2016 10:08

You're ugly but I bet you're gagging for it.

You're a pig but I'll sleep with you

Strangely they didn't work. It was fun to ignore them as in their eyes I was so ugly I couldn't possibly have standards.

Purplemonkeydishwasherpimp · 14/05/2016 10:11

Don't think I've ever been with a girl as big as you but you're really pretty.

Size 10 as opposed to size 4 ladies I'm guessing he meant.

HampshireMummyof2 · 14/05/2016 10:16

Never been chatted up Sad

SharonSignsToCherryRed · 14/05/2016 10:20

"I'm gonna be your bed partner tonight, baby." From a man who had leather trousers, hair that was both long and receding and was old enough to be my dad.

CatThiefkeith · 14/05/2016 10:20

A bloke and his mate once emptied an ice bucket over the floor between me and my friends feet, and started jumping up on down on it. Then one of them said..... 'Now we've broken the ice between us ladies - can we buy you a drink?'

Hollywoods in Romford in the 90's. Grin

TooOldForGlitter · 14/05/2016 10:32

I had this last Saturday night, "good for you still trying to tap off at your size". I laughed.

Chickpeachick0 · 14/05/2016 10:39

Not me but an old male friend was always wanting to use .
"Is that a ladder in your tights or just a stairway to heaven" 😝

suchafuss · 14/05/2016 10:43

'You look like you've not pulled either. How about it?' Took me 12 years to agree to go on a date with him and now married for 9 years!