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Original poster

Are DD's stretch marks bad?

86 replies

DDNeedsReassurance · 13/05/2016 21:17

DD is 14. She isn't big or anything. However, she has been hit hard with stretch marks. Hates wearing her PE shorts/school swimming, etc. I have said they're not even bad, but I suppose in a 14 year old's eyes it's the worst think in the world. She says that no one has them... Hmm do any of your DD's have them? I don't really know what to say to her. I think they look fine.

Are DD's stretch marks bad?
OP posts:
ouryve · 13/05/2016 23:00

I got my first ones when I was 10 and hit puberty.

The luck of genetics, unfortunately :(

IDontBelieveAnything · 13/05/2016 23:00

Iknownuffink What weird and unpleasant comments Hmm

NeedsAsockamnesty · 13/05/2016 23:08

When I was about that age mine were much the same.

I had them backs of leg knee area top of thighs front and back and arms. A friend of my parents let me try out some gel sheet stuff he used at work they faded really quickly I think the modern version is called circa care scar tissue sheets

DramaAlpaca · 13/05/2016 23:11

I don't have a DD, but two of my DSs got stretch marks. DS1 got them on his lower back during a growth spurt, they were livid red for a while but have now faded so much they are hardly visible. DS3 is 18 & his stretch marks, again on his lower back, are still at the red stage. He's happy they'll fade eventually as his older brother's did. DS2 doesn't have them, but he didn't have the dramatic growth spurt his brothers did.

BurningBridges · 13/05/2016 23:12

My DD is 14 and hers are far worse, the back of her knees particularly. I saw some people saying earlier they had them bad and they were small/petite as is my DD - I do feel so sorry for her though. I only mentioned them once then after that she seemed ok so now I don't say anything. I have a few and they worry me (she doesn't know), but if DD doesn't worry about hers then that's all good.

Iknownuffink · 13/05/2016 23:12

Perhaps you ought to butt out and let her be.

You publicly outed your daughter's skin flaw.

littlemonkey5 · 13/05/2016 23:12

No no no.... not poor DD....no sympathy because by drawing sympathy, it implies there is something wrong and this in turn casts a negative spin on something she cannot control. It's like someone having a few too many moles on their neck - nothing they can do about it so why is it a negative? Do you know why? It's because everyone has moles, so having more than average isn't as big a deal...... lots of people have stretchmarks but because they hide them, we don't actually know how many people have them and what they look like.

We need to teach our children to be indifferent to differences. If we don't, we are drawing attention to right and wrong. In this case there is no right and wrong.

If she is that conscious about it (and I can understand if she might be at her age), there are some fantastic make-ups out there that do not rub off very easily. Maybe give that a go - no-one will ever know xxx

I am a size 10-12 but I have stretchmarks everywhere. Most prominent on my tummy and hips from carrying 5 babies to term. But the ones under my arms have no reason to be there????? Very odd these things..... Difficult for children to understand but something we need to educate our children about.

Original poster
DDNeedsReassurance · 13/05/2016 23:22

Butt out? Is that what you do when your child is upset?... I guess that says a lot about you

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 13/05/2016 23:26

I'm sorry OP, I don't have any advice to give.

But could I just hijack for a second to thank FeliciaJollyGoodFellow for posting this? Smile I didn't as a teen but I know several young men that did, they were horizontal rather than vertical on their backs due to growth spurts.

My DS(13) developed some deep red/purple lines in his back recently (horizontal ones) and we thought because we only noticed them after a rugby game, it was something to do with that.

When they didn't disappear, we thought it might be his mattress so we turned it over. When that didn't change it, I made a Doc's appointment for next week. It even crossed my mind fleetingly that someone might have hurt/bullied him because it looks like he's been whipped with a chain!

But after reading your post, I googled 'teenage boys back stretch marks' and that is definitely it. The images are identical.

So you've put all our minds at rest including his Thanks

Again, sorry for the hijack OP Blush

WorraLiberty · 13/05/2016 23:30

And Iknownuffink your user name is incredibly apt.

Why are you bumping your gums about the photos?

It's not like the OP has posted her DD's name and address is it? Hmm

PacificDogwod · 13/05/2016 23:35

The only stretch marks I have I acquired during puberty - they are entirely invisible.

I am now a 50 year old mother of 4, was 3-4 st overweight at my heaviest and neither the pregnancies nor the weight gave me stretch marks. Puberty did - hormones have a lot to answer for.

Please reassure your DD that the appearance of her stretch marks will change and that whether or not children get them depends entirely on a genetic predisposition and has nothing to do with anything she has any influence on.

For the record, horizontal, sometimes quite wide stretch marks on fast growing teens (usually boys in the midst of a growth spurt are quite common and don't 'mean' anything,; they too fade with time.

DramaAlpaca · 13/05/2016 23:35

Worra I thought all sorts of terrible things when DS1 got his stretch marks at about age 14. I'd never heard of teenage boys getting them either!

aDangerousWoman · 13/05/2016 23:46

I'm tall, size 8/10 but I do have lots in between upper thighs and also upper hip/waist area. Loads of cellulite too. They started out like purple streaks and kind of whitened with time. Not too bothered. Can your DD wear yoga pants or similar to PE? Maybe have a quiet word with school about kit restrictions...

Icequeen01 · 13/05/2016 23:47

My DS, aged 16, has horizontal vivid red lines all across his back. They are quite thick and very noticeable. It almost looks like giant claw marks if that makes sense. He's had them for nearly two years now and there is still no sign of them fading, but doctor assured him they will.

They appeared within the space of about 6 months when he shot up in height.

I really feel for him as he always has a t shirt on when we are abroad on holiday and if he does sunbath he always lies on his back. Bless him he ends up brown on his front but white as a sheet on his back.

I have a very large scar from a scald down the whole length of my arm and really get how he feels.

WorraLiberty · 13/05/2016 23:49

Oh it's good to know it's not just me then Drama Grin

He's my youngest of 3 boys (all very tall) so stretch marks really didn't enter my head, as the other 2 didn't have them.

Even after 3 kids, I don't have a single stretch mark (not a stealth boast) so even when I looked at them close up, I suppose I didn't really twig that's what they are.

Now I think about it, his Dad does have stretch marks on his thighs and they're quite deep.

DramaAlpaca · 14/05/2016 00:20

Same here Worra, I have no stretch marks myself either, so I hadn't a clue when DS1 got them. DS2 avoided them, but he's not as tall as DS1 & DS3, who are both well over 6ft.

DS3 (18) tells people who notice his stretch marks that he's been fighting a bear Grin

ChaseAvenal · 14/05/2016 03:31

Got exactly the same at age 14 OP, when went from incredibly skinny to hourglass/pear within about a month! They cover the whole of my bum and parts of my thighs. I used to describe them as looking like I'd been attacked by a tiger, and though they weren't low enough to be seen in shorts etc. they did really scare me and my mum had to reassure me a lot by showing me her faded ones from pregmancy. They took I think about a year or two to fade to their barely visible silvery colour, they do still feel weird but I don't make a point of touching my own bumcheeks very often Grin

I think a lot of people get them in puberty, as most adults I know, male or female, have a few somewhere. I think most teens don't talk about it though because the fact it looks quite violent can be scary, and because so many people don't seem to get that stretch marks aren't just a pregnancy thing- I still get a bit Hmm at those "stretchmarks show you're a tiger mommy who earned her stripes" Facebook posts!

To cut a long story short, they are actually very, very common, and they will fade, so try and reassure her of those facts as often as you have to.

Motherfuckers · 14/05/2016 03:40

Those red ones usually fade to nothing. That doesn't sound like much comfort to her now, but my dear old Nan used to say that no one else noticed stretch marks/pimples/etc, This is so so true.

dreame · 14/05/2016 03:59

John Legend's (super?)model wife has them in her inner thighs - she posted them on Instagram last summer.

I got them in puberty (hips, thighs, backs of legs, breasts) and got even worse ones in pregnancy on hips (so double Confused) and stomach, so don't give her false hope about that, you can't totally predict. I still don't like my puberty ones but rather proud of my pregnancy ones.

dreame · 14/05/2016 04:02

John Legend's (super?)model wife has them in her inner thighs - she posted them on Instagram last summer.

I got them in puberty (hips, thighs, backs of legs, breasts) and got even worse ones in pregnancy on hips (so double Confused) and stomach, so don't give her false hope about that, you can't totally predict. I still don't like my puberty ones but rather proud of my pregnancy ones. All turned to silver, none actually disappeared (do they?!).

Loads of men have them but they don't realise (or care, often). I've had dancer boyfriends and endurance sports boyfriends (sports with no sudden weight/muscle gain) who were never fat and have them too.

derxa · 14/05/2016 04:31

he's been fighting a bear Grin My DS1 has these on his lower back but they have faded well.

Stanky · 14/05/2016 04:49

I had them on my chest and hips as a teenager. I have plenty now, and they don't bother me. I was never super model material any way. My body functions and I'm alive, so I don't really care.

KittyWindbag · 14/05/2016 04:51

I've got stretchmarks on my boobs, lower back, thighs, upper arms and stomach, and I haven't even had a child yet. I think my skin is quite thin and not very good at healing. But Most people have stretch-marks of some kind.

Do you have any on your body OP? Perhaps show your (non baby related) ones to her, or google celebrity stretch marks (wouldn't normally advocate this) to show her just how many normal, lovely, beautiful, talented women all get stretchmarks. And men too.

They will fade to silver eventually, mine all have. I don't think there is anything that will get rid of them, but encourage her to moisturize after every shower so that she's taking good care of her skin.

I feel for her. Everything is so magnified at that age.

KittyWindbag · 14/05/2016 04:55

Oh FFS, I've just actually googled 'celeberity stretchmarks'... don't do it OP, I don't think it'll help Hmm

scarednoob · 14/05/2016 06:11

Your poor DD. yes it's perfectly normal, no they aren't bad at all, yes she shouldn't care - but 14 isn't necessarily an age when you can feel like that, it's an age when you want to fit in. Hopefully she is reassured by (most of) the answers on here.

For the gymnastics, if it's bothering her, could she wear aerobics tights? We used to wear this sort of thing to aerobics:

www.gymnasticsleotardsonline.co.uk/Aerobic_Gymnastics_Mondor_Shimmer_Tights-details.aspx

Are DD's stretch marks bad?