To be fucked off with this dinner lady?

[Welshmaenad]

DC attend breakfast club which is staffed mainly by lunchtime staff. DD (9) is particularly fond of one dinner lady, let's call her A.

They have recently done a no-smoking poster campaign in school and DD was showing A her poster in breakfast club. A asked DD if anyone in her family smoked and DD told her (quite proudly) that Her dad and I used to smoke but have given up cigarettes and now vape.

A proceeded to tell DD some daily fail horror story about someone whose e-cig allegedly exploded in his pocket and told her 'mummy should be very careful with those things' and DD is now terrified mine or my boyfriend's or her dad's vaping gear is going to explode as we all use them. She's a sensitive soul prone to worry and a bit of melodrama. I've had to explain at length that e cigs are very safe if used properly and accidents happen when people charge them incorrectly or don't understand battery safety when using unregulated mech mods etc. I've managed to appease her but we had a few nights of getting out of bed upset and worried and crying because she thought one of us might get hurt.

AIBU to be really cross about this dinner lady telling my child horror stories and worrying her like this or am I overreacting??

Seriously if you actually watch people "vaping" they look like giant babies sucking a dummy.

Sorry you're so reliant on such a ridiculous crutch, it must be awful for you.

And as for the drip feed, I take posts at face value, most people don't pay attention to user names or posting history.

HTH

Seriously if you actually watch people "vaping" they look like giant babies sucking a dummy Meow, as opposed to dead?

Dead is a bad look

Why is death the alternative? Just don't smoke, it's pretty simple.

What a compassionate lovely person you are
A saint maybe?
I know, how about nobody has a drink, takes drugs, overeats? All the worlds addiction problems solved by Captain

Aw, thanks for the kind words and glad I could assist your problems, you're very welcome darling

OP I'm sorry about what's happened to your dd and you, it sounds very traumatic. I think it is really relevant to her reaction, though, my dd has also had a similar time lately and it has made her more sensitive to news stories, hearing about scaring things, and she is definitely more prone to having a cry in the evenings/feeling anxious than in the past.

Your dd is nine, and so is going to be exposed to all types of stories about death, injury, feeling ill, scary stuff, in news papers, in the school playground, in the official curriculum (mine did World War 2 in Year 4!), in Horrible Horrible histories, and through people talking- they will talk about things that she might normally take in her stride but because she is feeling super vulnerable and sensitive, she's dwelling on them more than usual.

The dinner lady is not a public health or vaping expert, and given the amount of misinformation and scaremongering, can be forgiven for chatting about this topic about something she'd seen in the papers (which your dd could have seen in a paper too) in a way that was unhelpful.

I wouldn't say anything to the dinner lady as she is a good ally for your dd, the point to stress is that accidents is very rare and not likely (just like someone getting run over), the message to get across to her is that she is safe and you are safe and we have to get on with our lives despite all the terrible things that (very unlikely but possibly) could happen.

Sorry, I genuinely didn't next to drip feed, just didn't want the world's longest OP! If I'm being U I'll take that on the chin, like I says, I'm not going to say anything to her anyway (not sure if it came across in my tone but I really dislike her, and it's probably impacted on my reaction!)

Not really sure where all the anti vaping sentiment came from either, but I've no intention of stopping. I started smoking again after my mum died and I started my degree, and nicotine is my crutch, if I don't vape I'd be smoking and I know which is better for me and my children. Plus I love vaping, it's s hobby, tacky or not, you will be prising my Sigelei spark from my cold dead fingers!

How can vaping be a hobby?!

I'm a dinner lady. I do think that she should've thought about what she was saying actually. Some children wouldn't give a comment like that another thought, but she ought to be aware that others might worry and dwell on it.

Attention really needs to be on coping mechanism for your dd's sensitivity rather than on the dinner lady. What she said was a bit unreasonable but your dd needs to learn how to deal with anxious thoughts and life worries.

Teaching her things like basic statistics and how the media will promote the most unusual things because they are more interesting for people to read etc. Teach her how to use logic to rationalise things and how to question things she hears.

Perhaps make a fake 'newspaper' with her with some made up 'facts' and stories in it so she sees that anything can be written, and it doesn't have to be true or exactly what it seems. Show her how interesting but exaggerated stories are more popular to lots of people often than boring but true ones.

Use this as an opportunity to work through some issues that your dd has, it will help her through life more than she can ever know.

Vaping a hobby? Really?

Yes, really. It's because it's not everyone's cup of tea doesn't mean it can't be a hobby. I mean, I don't understand the appeal of running but you can magazines about it and all sorts.

Bumtroll that's a really interesting idea, thank you. She's ok with 'general' stuff it's the notion of something happening to someone close that seems to trigger her. I talked a bit about how newspapers make a big deal out of things to sell papers but exploring that further with her would be good, I think. Thank you for the suggestions.

There's always that nobhead who tells you the story of the ecig exploding, she shouldn't of said that to your child.

To all you people moaning about vaping, no its not everyones cup of tea but for some us it's help us give up the cigs, regardless of the safety of vaping it's gotta be better than all the shit in real cigs.

And there are Vape Bars, Vape Clubs and Vape Festivals - so more than a hobby really, a legitimate pass time.

now-here-this.timeout.com/2014/03/26/e-cigarettes-and-coffee-at-londons-vape-bar/

m.facebook.com/Ukvapefestcommunity/

There are crack dens too; doesn't make it a legitimate pastime.

Thank you for the popcorn lung explanations- I'd honestly never heard of it & thought it might relate to the condition your lungs looked in (looking like a popcorn!)

The 'you are more likely to get killed by a falling coconut that bitten by a shark' statistic might be useful! Though read up as I'm not sure I've got that exactly right! There's bound to be loads of similar ones!

Winning the lottery for example, there's often 'you're more likely to X than win the lottery' odds.

Here we are...

www.express.co.uk/life-style/life/632060/National-Lottery-ticket-winning-Lotto-jackpot-ticket-likelihood-odds

www.sheknows.com/living/articles/1023453/what-are-the-odds-21-statistics-that-will-surprise-you

Clearly some of those aren't suitable but plenty are its somewhere to start, anyway.