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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish our neighbours wouldn't smoke on their balcony?

130 replies

WanderingNotLost · 11/05/2016 22:37

Now I know people have the right to smoke on their own balcony if they want to. But here's the thing.
My and DP's flat has entirely south-facing windows, so when it's warm and sunny the place turns into a furnace. The thermostat read 35° when we got home today. Our building is an L-shape, so there's a flat on the floor below us whose living room balcony is below and to a right angle from our bedroom window, and the people who live in it have been smoking out there- presumably so their flat won't smell. We had our bedroom window open to try and cool the room down, and now it stinks, and I mean really stinks of cigarette smoke. I won't be able to sleep in there tonight.
Again, I know they can smoke on their balcony. But would it be so hard to show some consideration, when they can see that our bedroom window is open and their smoke is going right for it?!
Aargh.

OP posts:
WanderingNotLost · 12/05/2016 09:20

Ok. In hindsight that is a bit crackers. In my defence I was tired, pissed off and not happy to be sleeping on my sofa!
If I see them on the balcony at some point I might just give them mine/DP's number and ask them to chuck us a text or something so we can shut our windows. But then it's entirely dependant on them remembering!

OP posts:
Emilyyyy · 12/05/2016 09:32

But you are the one with the problem. They wouldn't be creating a problem if you didn't have a problem. Its honestly not their fault you don't like it. Where are they supposed to smoke?

Best thing I can suggest is try talking to them first.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 12/05/2016 09:41

They aren't going to text you every time they have a fag and if you're at work, it won't help anyway.

If your HA has strict guidelines re barbecues on the balconies, are there guidelines about smoking too?

If not, I'd get used to having your windows closed. Get a fan. DP needs to get over the electricity bill thing - at this point it's either move (expensive), live with the smoke smell (doesn't seem to be an option), or sort the problem yourself so that window can stay closed.

They aren't likely to suddenly realise the errors of their ways. Smokers know it's not good for them or anyone around them. Unfortunately, it's legal and they are doing it on their property. I do sympathise because I'd hate this but your choices are to make living more bearable for yourself or not. I wouldn't involve them in it. You'll just be annoyed when they are texting you every fifteen minutes or forget to text you etc.

LeaLeander · 12/05/2016 09:54

I did some searching online and apparently here in the US the cost of running a 20" window/box fan 24/7 is about $6 per month. Seems like a cheap way to divert the smoke AND remove hot air from your flat.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 12/05/2016 10:11

Leaving the smoking aside, you live in a south facing apartment with no cross airflow - not sure if you are owner/part owner ?
Cheap air con unit? They are often on ebay but about £300 new in B&Q. Godsend when you just need to take the air temperature down when you get in.

specialsubject · 12/05/2016 10:29

I also hate the burning turd reek - but it is a risk you take with flats or close houses. Hell is other people, as they say , and the stink carries quite a distance .

It is disgusting but unless it is against block rules there's nothing to be done.

Onedaftmonkey · 12/05/2016 10:57

Feel your pain. At least it's not pot like my neighbours. "mummy that smoke smells like festivals" is a common phrase said by DS 6.

thecook · 12/05/2016 11:03

DP is obsessed with keeping the electricity bill down - I think the smokers should be the least of your worries - being tight-fisted is not an attractive trait.

I think your reaction is totally over the top. If you live in a Housing Association flat can you not move out and buy a detached property?

WanderingNotLost · 12/05/2016 11:17

thecook no, we can't just move from our 1-bed part-owned HA flat to a detached house. Sadly!
DP isn't tight-fisted; we have no say over our energy provider (also dictated by HA) and the bills are horrendous.

OP posts:
Kn33 · 12/05/2016 11:36

I'm a smoker, I'm end terrace and my garden has the ends of others gardens backing on to it, so no worries of my smoke floating off annoying someone.
If it did, and some one politely without feeling the need to go on about how awful every one that smokes is asked if I could stand somewhere else I would most likely oblige. Especially if there were children involved.
But if someone asked me to text every time I was going to smoke I would probably laugh in their face. It's not like me asking my hypothetical teenager to let me know when we share a house. The prospect of that is just weird to me and almost like you want to give them permission to go and have their cigarette.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 12/05/2016 11:56

I think your only options are to move or buy a fan.

If it's HA then it's quite likely they can't smoke inside and you can't expect them to go out of the block every time. I can't imagine that the balcony is big enough that standing on the other side would make a difference.

Choccybadger · 12/05/2016 12:08

As another poster has said, the HA may not allow smoking on balconies.
In a private block where we used to own a fly it was a term of the lease that you could not smoke on balcony. Some flats had total non-smoking covenants in them due to their position and if they had opened windows to smoke out of they would gave affected 3 flats directly.
It's a tricky one.

Personally, I would find out what the HA says in its terms - no names st that stage as wouldn't be heavy handed about. Depending on answer, you'll know what you want to do.
You have my complete sympathy and is so difficult when someone insists on exercising a right that can cause real difficulties for others. My sister's little one has lung disease and can't even stay in a hotel room that has been smoked in over previous 4 days or so according to her dr. Imagine if this were her flat? Well, she had very similar problems and when she went to speak politely to the tenants in the flat, they were very confrontational asking how she dare try to curtail their freedoms.
They were quite embarrassed when she calmly pointed out that he child is struggling to breathe and could be hospitalised due to smoke inhalation because smoke was basically funnelling in to flat due to poor design of windows etc. The problem abated immediately.
The thing is, even though we are a civilised society, people don't necessarily consider the impact on others of exercising their rights until pointed out. People are usually more likely to respond positively to a personal plea than an abstract or a rule. Try to have a calm conversation with them which asks for consideration of your situation but doesn't automatically start talking about rights.
I hate smoking, the smell, the sick feeling I get from it. I moved because of it once.

Obv if the HA has a clear rule, you may want to just report it to them to confront your neighbours so you are not directly involved in any dispute.
Good luck.

AppleSetsSail · 12/05/2016 12:15

I really liked your diagram - slow day indeed!

You're being ridiculous about the fan, but I can see that you've aknowledged this by now.

We've had builders next door for one year and they smoke like chimneys, it's been horrible - I completely appreciate how horrible it is.

I also have a smoker friend and she is specifically looking for a flat based on it having a balcony for smoking. There is no way that you can reasonably ask them to stop this vile, perfectly legal practice.

mygorgeousmilo · 12/05/2016 14:35

Literally just had this discussion with my husband, we asked our neighbours to stop smoking outside on our side, this morning my husband saw the guy and he said something like "sorry mate, I won't be smoking out on the balcony anymore, as I do understand about your kids" this was after just going over the other day and asking them to politely to stop because it was horrible for us all, and then us just turning and coming straight back to ours. You might be surprised.

AppleSetsSail · 12/05/2016 16:28

Asking your neighbours not not smoke on your side of the house is quite a bit different than the OP asking her neighbours not to smoke on their^ balcony.

likeaboss · 12/05/2016 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/05/2016 17:02

What's not to get? Their smoking on their own property! So far the only suggestion the op likes is asking them to text her every time they want to have a cigarette on their own property. They probably don't smoke inside because of the smell, you're right, their choice. Equally, the smell wouldn't be making the op's bedroom smell if she hadn't chosen a south facing bedroom that heats up to such an extent she needs the windows open.

MintJulip · 12/05/2016 17:07

There's literally nothing you can do about them smoking op

Op you can actually do anything about anything that affects your day to day life.

They have a right to smoke but you also have a right to breathe clean air and enjoy your habitation.

You could start by trying to get a note to them some how, work hard to find out where they are, which no, is their a building maintenance team?

Once you have contacted them, or tried to ask really nicely, you can try a fan to push the smoke out, and failing that you can also see if your EH will help.

I had hell with this, smokers on both sides right by our windows, it flooded straight in, as soon as some one lit up you could smell it, I hated summer because of it.

MintJulip · 12/05/2016 17:09

maxmaxdress Thu 12-May-16 00:47:18

I have young DC and I have given up smoking to give them a smoke free childhood I didnt have.

But your smoking trumps my DC right to clean air does it? We would have to sit in a hot room with air in the summer because you want to enjoy a fag and cant be bothered to walk away from peoples homes?

Op, I hope a smoking ban comes out that includes this issue. Its madness you cant smoke in restaurants but you can be lying in bed, suffocated with fag smoke. Angry

MintJulip · 12/05/2016 17:11

Paula I dont want to break it to you - but they may be smoking on their property but the smoke - isnt staying on their property.

Op do you have young dc at all, you could always try 111 if it got really bad and it was a really hot day.

MintJulip · 12/05/2016 17:13

The thing is, even though we are a civilised society, people don't necessarily consider the impact on others of exercising their rights until pointed out

Indeed, some will but some wont, as we can see on here.

I am an ex smoker and I certainly would not have enjoyed my fag had I known at the same time, someone was suffering because of it. But then I am quite a considerate person.

likeaboss · 12/05/2016 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SweetieDrops · 12/05/2016 17:17

Phone 111, seriously? Hmm

phlebasconsidered · 12/05/2016 17:19

Our neighbours smoke weed pretty much all day and night. It reeks. It comes into our house, which is a semi, despite our sealing up vents and cracks. It stinks out our entire top floor and my kids bedrooms, aggravating my son's allergies. Sometimes our clothes smell of it. We think they're growing it too, as our lights perpetually blow and our loft stinks and is boiling.

I cope by using a lot of air freshener, blowing air through the rooms when possible, and willing the neighbours to leave.

They don't give a shit despite me asking politely if they could perhaps close the air vents their side. But why would they care about my kids when they so clearly don't care about their own? Their own kids school uniforms must honk.

I know I have to safeguard kids that come into school stinking like that. I often feel like reporting them, but dh says on what evidence. I know they deal, but the local police did nothing when I mentioned my concerns. There's usually a toddler in a nappy in the yard, which is full of dogshit from the staffy that never walk, while they smoke outside in the sunshine.

I contacted their landlord, who owns lots of houses locally, and he did nothing. Dh says we are better off with them as neighbours rather than the house crammed full of itinerant workers partying all hours. At least they all go to bed early.

Anyway, post hijack. Maybe you now feel ok about balcony smoke.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/05/2016 17:20

Op do you have young dc at all, you could always try 111 if it got really bad and it was a really hot day.

... Are you for real? How would that one go?

'My neighbours are smoking on their balcony and I don't like it.'

'...'