To feel so ashamed

[Nerdygalwithabook]

Mental health problems. Do they make you feel ashamed?

I will research it, and thankyou all so much.

2 years ago I had horrific anxiety and depression after my mum died.I wasn't ashamed of the illness exactly but definitely was embarrassed by my 'coping mechanism' which I see now was functioning alcoholism (minimum 1 bottle of wine EVERY night,often 2).

I never thought I'd get better and was convinced it would be the death of me. Following medication and counselling I have no shame,just relief I got through it in one piece.

to you OP. I promise it'll get better.

I have had long-standing MH issues (anxiety, then depression, then back to 'just' anxiety) and I feel ashamed sometimes. I'm getting better about it, but it's all down to the fact that so many people are so judgey about MH. The amount of people who, over the years, have revealed to me during conversation that they think people with depression should just 'pull themselves together' (not knowing they are talking to one of these malingerers) is unreal.

I'm exactly like the other posters here who have said they are ashamed, I'm far more critical of myself for suffering than I am other people. I can hold two different ideas about it in my head...I can be ashamed for ME, but at the same time I don't think other people should be ashamed! I totally think we should talk about it more, whilst at the same time I'm NOT willing to reveal my problems to anyone except close friends and family, so what the heck is all that about?!

It's just so hard to explain how much it makes you act out. It really is tough and I hope all of you recover quickly

I am not ashamed of my mental illness. I carried a lot of shame but that's mostly associated with some of the underlying causes of my mental illness, and not the illness itself. If that makes sense. It all gets a bit jumbled up when the mist descends....

I suppose at the start, when I first got ill, I did try very hard (and with a large degree of success) to hide my mental illness from others. Which probably was to some extent a result of feeling embarrassed or ashamed about what I was going through. But a lot of that was also to do with being in denial of what was happening. I also wanted to throw myself under a bus a lot, because then I would have a 'genuine' reason to go hospital and have people recognise I wasn't well.

I recognise now, there is no shame, but I'm not quite ready to shout about it from the rooftops. Maybe one day.

Take your time getting better - I think as soon as I accepted it was a long road and I had to just trust the process, I felt a lot calmer. if possible do CBT and talking therapy. Get out, fresh air and exercise make a huge difference. Just look after yourself, put yourself first. So many people do understand how hard it is .

I hope you understand how much I appreciate all of your help

I wasn't ashamed of my depression, The same way I wasn't ashamed of my broken legs, my recurring cellulitis or my recent food poisoning (although if I'd crapped on the new carpet it might have been different).

If it breaks, fix it. Sometimes it can't be fixed, but there's no moral issue. Most people are kind about illness, and the others can be ruthlessly cut out.

It's admitting that it's Emetaphobia and that it can be crippling. That's what gets me. Admitting how such an irrational phobia makes me want to give up

Emetophobia is pretty common. Therapists and GPs see it all the time. I had CBT and it worked wonders, I wouldn't go anywhere basically, always wore gloves, hardly ate. Terrible. Last year DH threw up on my feet and while it was horrible, it was OK, now I can say I'm glad he did because it helped me live my life. I'm not spending my days avoiding everything through fear and that is worth facing up to what scares me.

Nerdy I don't have masses of experience so don't feel qualified to say too much but I'll say that I had therpy (hypnotherapy and some CBT) for an 'unusual' phobia and the intertesting thing was that the therapists hardly focused on what the actual phobia was at all (it seemed almost irrelevant - for the hypnotheraly they asked seemingly just out of interest).

Please don't worry that you don't have a 'common' / easy to relate to phobia (although I agree with PP - yours is not that unusual).

Phobias are 'irrational' - that's what they do. Please, please don't worry or be ashamed!

I've considered hypnotherapy to make it all go away but it's soooo expensive

I didn't realise it was such a common phobia!

Hi OP, how are you doing today and will you be able to see your mother? Like everyone else, I have suffered from MH problems as have a LOT (possibly all) of my close friends. I think my friends are fantastic - supportive, full of understanding and empathy because they've all been through challenging times. My best friend is the most amazing psychiatric nurse - like AA and WeightWatchers, sometimes having experienced very low times yourself gives you great tools to help others. I do understand what you mean about shame but, really - you have no reason to be any more ashamed than you would be about a broken leg that took a very long time to heal. You didn't choose this. Sending you

If you've ever heard of the 'The Chimp Paradox: The Mind Management Programme to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence and Happiness' by Prof Steve Peters, I recommend it as way to understand anxiety and phobias. He's the person who has helped a lot of British Olympic athletes win medals, amongst others.

There are other books about the subject, but this just happens to be the one I've picked up

He explains that we have two ways in which our brains work; the emotional chimp and the rational human. The whole principle is about how your emotional chimp can take over and needs to be managed.

Its really good as it explains why the irrational part of your brain overrules the logical bit in a really good way. Just understanding WHY you are acting in a particular way and you are not 'crazy' just normal. It was a massive stepping stone for me. No doctors necessary.

If you are struggling to leave the house or don't want to face a therapist or doctor, it could help or at least be a stepping stone to that in the future.

What have you got to loose apart from about £9 (or see if you can get down the library or get one second hand)?

I Shall Look that up on Kindle actually That sounds like a good book!