to not stay in a 1 bed holiday cottage with 5 other people

[ethelb]

Going for a wedding in an English town. Just been emailed about the 'fab' plan friends have come up with, to rent a one (double bed) cottage for the six of us. This includes two couples. And one bathroom. They 'may' be able to persuade owner to provide mattresses.
They also want to go for 3/4 nights when only one is necessary.
Aibu to say no fucking way?

Berthas excuses are crazy. You don't need to invent lies just cheerfully say what you are doing instead and looking forward to seeing them there. You're all adults!

Why are they still waiting on you for an answer?

Why does it matter what the landlord says?

Just say NO

Another one for just saying no, something along the lines of " oh we're just going to come for one night so will be booking a hotel, thanks for the invite though".

Hell, it sounds like utter hell.

You can either upset them now by saying no or never want to see them again after spending a cramped few "fun" days with them.

I'd go for the former and enjoy sleeping well wherever you choose!

Are they really going to be that upset if you refuse? I expect the remaining guests will be glad that it won't be so cramped.

We'll all come. If we spoon, we can probably fit about 20 people into the two rooms . Yanbu, total no-no unless everybody is 8 yo or under.

"No thanks guys, I'm a bit old to be sleeping off my hangover anywhere other than a proper bed! How about one of these cottages with a suitable number of bedrooms/DH and I were looking at this hotel which I'm sure has enough rooms for all of us".

"1 bed cottage for 5 of us, surely that's a typo?
Thanks for the offer but we'll sort something out for ourselves as we're not sure on specifics yet or how much time we can take off. Can't wait to catch up though, have you sorted outfits yet? I'm Really looking forward to seeing X and Y and hearing all about Z."

Is surely the response you need to send?

Haven't RTFT but are they swingers? Pampas grass in their front lawn and 'fun' party games?

My answer would be 'good god, no! I need my own bed and bathroom as a bare minimum. I'm too old to be roughing it.'
Plus I like to sleep nekkid, and I need to get up at lease twice a night to pee...

they won't be staying at all. Despite their sweet innocence that the owner was born yesterday, they will get spotted and thrown out.

so don't join them!

Ha I would have done that when I was 17. Since I "grew up" (in theory), no way.

When there was a similar suggestion with my uni mates, some of them did slum it, dh and I went to the holiday inn down the road

The idea of sharing a cottage may be fun as we often do this with groups of friends. But it is always a 7 or 8 bedroom place so we all have more than enough space.

This sounds horrendous. Arguements over space and who gets the bed are reminisant of teenage sleepovers.