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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naked children in the park - who is right?

497 replies

Oysterbabe · 08/05/2016 17:24

We're currently enjoying the sun in the park with DD 4 months (who is enjoying it by being asleep in the shade) It is packed with families as you'd expect. In the group next to us there are two little girls, I'm going to guess about 4 and 5, who are having a lovely time running around and playing completely in the buff. I was saying to DH that I wouldn't let our DD run around naked at that age in such a public place. There could be any number of dodgy characters watching on and getting off on it. He thinks it's fine, that they're still young enough to get away with it. Also in the unlikely event there is a lurking paedo, they're completely oblivious and it's not going to hurt them at all, you can't live in fear.
Who's right? Am I being too Daily Mail paedo round every corner or is it correct to be cautious about such things?

OP posts:
LouBlue1507 · 08/05/2016 22:05

I like how people think that peado's only lurk about parks and not the beach or public pools Hmm ...

SolidGoldBrass · 08/05/2016 22:26

It wouldn't bother me in the least. I'm not bothered by naked adults, either - plenty of people look horrid with all their clothes on, and as long as other people don't pester me in a public place I don't give a fuck what they are doing. I did tend to keep at least pants on DS once he got past about 5 - though the thing that always made me boggle a bit at splash areas/paddling pools was other people's toddlers in nothing but waterlogged nappies - just a little bit unhygenic.

CheekyGit · 08/05/2016 22:29

I am not sure about this it was such a hot day, but worry is, in this day and age with zooms on camera phones, how would you know if someone was taking pics from a distance?

Sparklingbrook · 08/05/2016 22:32

I wouldn't really want to see naked adults at the park.

Flower20166 · 08/05/2016 22:35

LouBlue I know paedophiles aren't just at a park. I wouldn't be comfortable with my child being naked at a beach or pool either (they would have shorts or swimsuit on)

NickiFury · 08/05/2016 22:39

I agree OP. I didn't do it and I don't like seeing it, usually because it's accompanied by annoying Aren't We Free Spirits performance parenting. The kids usually tend to have really grotty tangly hair and be in need of a good wash too, again all part of the We Are Too Busy Having Fun to do such mundane things as wash and brush our hair.

Sallyingforth · 08/05/2016 22:42

Yesterday DP and I were sunbathing in our local park, wearing only SPF50. We have done so before many times. Perfectly legal, and no-one was offended. Would probably have done so again today but it was just too busy.

Akire · 08/05/2016 22:43

If it's soooo hot you have to resorting to taking off all off your clothes then surely you need sunscreen. I draw line at putting sun cream on genital when thers perfectly good pair of pants on stand by.

SecretWitch · 08/05/2016 22:46

No problems with the naked body..it's beautiful in all forms blah blah blah. I simply don't want my child on slide or swing your child has just parked his/her bare arse on.

srslylikeomg · 08/05/2016 22:49

I'd probably let mine go naked at the park, and have done at a public lake, and I have taught the underwear rule. Pretty sure that they grasp the distinction between someone touching them where their underwear is and the freedom of nudity on a hot day. Kids can get nuance, they know rules adapt for different places and I'm sure mine wouldn't think 'but we are allowed to be naked in the park...I'm just going to strip off in Rainbows' ...

Floggingmolly · 08/05/2016 22:50

The pair of you go naked in your local park, Sally? Are you a bit of an exhibitionist?

Schoolisback1973 · 08/05/2016 22:51

I am with you but only because of the mixed messages it would send to my dd. Private parts are private anywhere.

Ludwaysl · 08/05/2016 22:54

Tops off but bottoms on for me. Well not me personally, that'd be bit of an eye full, lol

Not sure why I don't like children being fully naked as I'm so blaze about showing flesh, I'm an enigma, lol

chitofftheshovel · 08/05/2016 23:07

Mine were naked a lot on beaches when they were little. Yes, I was always aware that some sick bastard could be lurking in the dunes and zooming a lens on them for his own gratification but a) the likelihood was slim and b) the benefits of their freedom from restrictive clothing outweighed the risk because c) there was no risk to them as people, nobody could do anything physical to them.
But that was my POV. And can understand and respect why others don't feel or do the same.

Sallyingforth · 08/05/2016 23:27

The pair of you go naked in your local park, Sally? Are you a bit of an exhibitionist?
Certainly not. That's an offensive suggestion. I don't look at other people when sunbathing and don't expect them to be looking at me.
I was brought up to be unashamed and unembarrassed about my body. If others have hangups about the human body in its natural state, that's their problem, not mine.

Canyouforgiveher · 08/05/2016 23:41

I didn't do it myself but wouldn't judge anyone who let their small children run around naked (have had plenty of friends who did this at the beach etc), and tbh I wouldn't really care either if adults were running around naked as long as it wasn't in any way threatening.

But I wouldn't enjoy looking at either group and I'm trying to figure out why.

I think it is a mixture of not really wanting to see or encounter the bits which excrete urine and crap - although I think this is something way more likely with small children (I don't know about anyone else on here but if my toddlers/preschoolers were running around and playing naked, lots of people would get lots of full views of everything).

The other thing is that I don't like seeing people naked because I am used to seeing them clothed. I wouldn't even want to see dh naked around the house all the time, much as I enjoy seeing him naked in our bedroom. not surprising since we are socialised to wear clothes. When I was about 7 I was visiting my cousins and we went to a park/play place and my cousin same age and I were told to take our tops off as it was sunny. I hated it. Didnt want to say no but hated exposing more flesh than I normally did. It actually spoiled the day for me.

So mixture of ugh factor and socialisation. the pervert taking photos wouldn't be much of an issue for me - although it would be a consideration depending on where I was when the children were stripping off.

Crispbutty · 08/05/2016 23:45

"I don't look at other people when sunbathing and don't expect them to be looking at me"

sunbathe naked in privacy then.

Bambambini · 08/05/2016 23:46

I think it's a shame that folk are so negative and hung up with little children being naked. Mine loved striping off In the garden. I'd be less likely to let them at a park, but beach - probably. And for those saying just as much fun in pants , clothes, swimsuits etc - no, it's not the same. Nude swimming just feels so much better then wearing a swimsuit.

amarmai · 09/05/2016 02:36

I was waiting for Booboostwo to like the idea of naked cc running around in the park as s/he has been aggressively promoting the rights of photographers to take pics of anyone's cc even if there are signs posted saying it is not allowed.

Darrowisred · 09/05/2016 03:02

Really, Sally? You go naked at your local park?? Um, why?

Stillwishihadabs · 09/05/2016 07:56

The thing is dcs do develop a sense of not wanting to take all their clothes off without you having to do anything. For mine it was about 7ish (Ds) and 8 ish (dd). Before that anyone having unsupervised contact with them would have been a professional or a family member or trusted friend. Fwiw putting indecent images of dcs on the Internet or looking at them IS a criminal offence, which the police take quite seriously.

Notagainmun · 09/05/2016 08:08

Hate it. To many times have I been eating a picnic when someone's little darling bends over in front of me putting me off my food. Totally unnecessary.

bakeoffcake · 09/05/2016 08:20

Sally unless an area specifically allows nakedness, it's against the law for an adult to take all theur clothes off in pubic.

Sallyingforth · 09/05/2016 08:32

Really, Sally? You go naked at your local park?? Um, why?

Depends what you mean by "go". I don't run around in the park unclothed, I lay quietly in the sun, as is my legal right.
Why? Because I enjoy being in the natural unclothed state that I was born and grew up in, unrestricted by silly bits of cloth.
I sunbathe discretely, and sometimes like yesterday the park was just too busy to find a quiet place. That's disappointing, and we had to return to the garden.

wherethewildthingis · 09/05/2016 08:33

Said it before on similar threads but it's worth saying again- if people spent time with child sex offenders and heard them talk about what they do with images of children, they would be less laid back about the idea of children being naked in public.
Also- yes, children do need to learn that parts of their body are private, so they can keep themselves safe. Mixed messages create opportunity for abusers.

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