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Original poster

Naked children in the park - who is right?

497 replies

Oysterbabe · 08/05/2016 17:24

We're currently enjoying the sun in the park with DD 4 months (who is enjoying it by being asleep in the shade) It is packed with families as you'd expect. In the group next to us there are two little girls, I'm going to guess about 4 and 5, who are having a lovely time running around and playing completely in the buff. I was saying to DH that I wouldn't let our DD run around naked at that age in such a public place. There could be any number of dodgy characters watching on and getting off on it. He thinks it's fine, that they're still young enough to get away with it. Also in the unlikely event there is a lurking paedo, they're completely oblivious and it's not going to hurt them at all, you can't live in fear.
Who's right? Am I being too Daily Mail paedo round every corner or is it correct to be cautious about such things?

OP posts:
PalaceResident · 09/05/2016 15:16

True say Bluepancakes

BluePancakes · 09/05/2016 15:19

I think you do children an injustice if you think they are so easily confused. Mine are savvy about real threats to their safety.

I know! It's like saying - don't allow children to climb on climbing frames, because if you do, they'll get confused and start climbing up electricity pylons!

petitpois55 · 09/05/2016 15:23

I think that's the nub of it irian children realise themselves that it's not the norm and start to feel uncomfortable with it. I think the parents on here who think it's completely normal must have very young kids. Wait until they get a bit older Grin

FattyNinjaOwl · 09/05/2016 15:24

It's like saying - don't allow children to climb on climbing frames, because if you do, they'll get confused and start climbing up electricity pylons!

It's nothing like that. If I was telling them it's OK to climb the electricity pylon, but only on Friday, that would be a much more accurate comparison. A climbing frame and a pylon are completely different, just like being naked in private and in public.

BluePancakes · 09/05/2016 15:28

But the distinction is not between being naked in public and private, it's about whether it is safe to be naked or not. There are plenty of public places where it is safe (and generally, for young children that means parents/guardians are there too).

If you think it is between public or private, would you allow your children to be naked in private without you???

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 09/05/2016 15:28

Paedophiles are working currently on having their sexual preferences listed as a disability

they can work all they like but it is never, ever, ever going to happen - you make it sound like they are becoming a main stream !

that said, why oh why is there is weird MN thing that worrying about paedophiles is pathetically paranoid? Mine don't go nude for that very reason - so shoot me

actually, there have NPO interest in going nude as are school age- but you know what I mean!

BluePancakes · 09/05/2016 15:28

^^in someone else's home, in private without you?

FattyNinjaOwl · 09/05/2016 15:32

Yes. If with their dad or my parents. My 2 year old runs around naked in front of my 14 year old brother. At home. Where it is safe to do so. Not at the park where anybody could be taking pictures or there could be glass in the grass, or she could get burnt on hot metal trying to go down the slide because she is two and wants to go down the slide.

PeppermintPasty · 09/05/2016 15:32

I daresay when my DC are older they will not be wildly exhibitionist. Mind you, they aren't now either, they are just normal.

My 9 yo ds is very aware of being in public at all times already, clothed I might add. This is standard growing up stuff. Of course they are going to become critically aware of social norms. They would be very unusual if they did not.

4Roseycheeks · 09/05/2016 15:38

Claraoswald
I know one of the children very well, she really has had a rotten start in life, but while things were indeed difficult, she's a particularly bright, positive girl of 10 now and has been adopted by a wonderful family. Various things have happened that could have tipped her in the wrong direction, but so far.... touch wood... she seems to be becoming a really wise, well balanced, caring child. We all wonder about puberty and what that might bring, but the truth is that she was forced into a sort of ghastly sexual maturity years ago - there will be very few surprises for her poor thing, so maybe, just maybe, along with her undoubted wisdom, she will find puberty less of an upheaval.

TheFairyCaravan · 09/05/2016 15:40

My children are 19&21. They didn't go naked in the garden, on the beach or in the park. They've not grown up to be ashamed of their bodies and they are aware of what's appropriate and what's not.

I've just spent 12 days on holiday in a hotel where there were mainly German and Scandinavian families. I didn't see one completely naked child, they all had pants on. When they were drying off they had little robes or those towelling ponchos on. They all seemed to be having a lot of fun and none of them seemed restricted anyway.

Ifyoubuildit · 09/05/2016 15:43

I'm feeling a bit guilty about the fact that 3 yo Dd strips off in the shower at the swimming pool. Hmm

FeckOfffCup · 09/05/2016 15:46

that said, why oh why is there is weird MN thing that worrying about paedophiles is pathetically paranoid?

I've noticed this too. Its like you're a hysterical paranoid loon who never lets anyone so much look at your children, ever, if you admit that you don't like the thought of a paedophile watching your child. I've seen on here before someone saying along the lines of 'what's wrong with putting nude images of your kids up on social media/who cares if a paedophile wanks over the pictures'

Well, call me hysterical and PFB but I don't really want pictures of my child naked circulating between paedophiles on the Internet. Therefore I will go to a small effort to prevent it.

PeppermintPasty · 09/05/2016 15:53

It's all about upbringing though isn't it? I'm not saying in any way that people who don't do it like me are wrong, different strokes for different folks. I am saying though, that I find some of the more knee jerk reactions on this thread to be very odd. I don't think as a general rule the human body is 'disgusting', but that does not mean I'm ok with somebody thinking they can let it all hang out whenever wherever.

I was brought up by a woman who would say she was pragmatic, eg she gave my embarrassment short shrift when she compelled me to try things on on the shop floor in m and s back in the day when they had no changing rooms, yet she had massive hang ups about bodies and puberty and stuff like that. My mother caused me to feel shame about myself as a girl, but that's a whole other story.

I'm liberal now in spite of her, not because of her.

I have no trouble believing that children who never go naked anywhere will grow up normal. Of course they will if they come from a loving happy home. Why do people have to be so rigid one way or the other?

Claraoswald36 · 09/05/2016 16:05

My parents were always scoffing at my shame about getting changed etc and almost forced nudity on me when I was little. I can't bear it now.

Itsmine · 09/05/2016 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PalaceResident · 09/05/2016 17:03

What's the benefit for children of being allowed to run around in public naked?

Floggingmolly · 09/05/2016 17:11

Yes, it's been posted several times on this thread; they'll eventually realise that it's not what most people do and stop doing it Confused. But until then...
Bizarre logic.

Vaara · 09/05/2016 17:55

Argh why would you shower in your cossie I'm the swimming pool? It's so weird!!

And why the hell would you teach your kids to do it???

Especially in an all female changing ffs. Surely you can't be worried about perverts there?

It's a parallel bloody universe....

FattyNinjaOwl · 09/05/2016 17:56

Surely you can't be worried about perverts there?

Hmm you do realise women can be paedophiles... so of course there could be perverts there.

Deb2915 · 09/05/2016 18:00

I'm with you - I wouldn't let my child run round butt naked. You don't know what sort of people are taking sneaky photos and then passing them around. 😔
Fair enough the kids might be having a whale of a time running around, but a pair of knickers is going to make everyone feel more comfortable with the whole situation.

Vaara · 09/05/2016 18:02

Are you joking? You don't let your child be naked in a female changing room?

My flabber is gasted.

Where I live (EU) there are family changing rooms in every pool for parents and children. Any parents. So if you're there with kids it's everybody all together. The idea of this being weird is just so.... repressed.

FattyNinjaOwl · 09/05/2016 18:05

I use a family cubicle as there's me and 2 babies to get changed. No my 2 year old doesn't get naked in front of a load of strangers. My 9 month old doesn't either.

Vaara · 09/05/2016 18:07

Well, you wouldn't get far here Grin

It's a body. You're just expected to get on with it.

FattyNinjaOwl · 09/05/2016 18:11

To be fair, if there's no cubicles, I get her changed but she's shielded by me and she is changed within a matter of seconds. I don't know those people in the changing rooms, playing on their phones. I don't know what they're up to and quite frankly I'd rather take as few risks as possible when it comes to my children's privacy. Other people may be comfortable with the thought of a paedophile ring masturbating to images of their children, but I'm not.

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