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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naked children in the park - who is right?

497 replies

Oysterbabe · 08/05/2016 17:24

We're currently enjoying the sun in the park with DD 4 months (who is enjoying it by being asleep in the shade) It is packed with families as you'd expect. In the group next to us there are two little girls, I'm going to guess about 4 and 5, who are having a lovely time running around and playing completely in the buff. I was saying to DH that I wouldn't let our DD run around naked at that age in such a public place. There could be any number of dodgy characters watching on and getting off on it. He thinks it's fine, that they're still young enough to get away with it. Also in the unlikely event there is a lurking paedo, they're completely oblivious and it's not going to hurt them at all, you can't live in fear.
Who's right? Am I being too Daily Mail paedo round every corner or is it correct to be cautious about such things?

OP posts:
Littlelondoner · 09/05/2016 14:21

I think you can not live in cottonwool just incase there is a wandering passing peado about.

But that said from a point of view of the childs dignaty I would not do it. I think at 5 a child is old enough to start feeling concious that some body parts we do not show off.

Vaara · 09/05/2016 14:22

it's pretty disgusting to allow children to be naked in public places

gem from petitpois

FeckOfffCup · 09/05/2016 14:22

I agree with sparklingbrook
DS is only 19 months and too young to understand/care but I wouldn't let him run around a park naked. I will be teaching him the privates are private/underwear rule so it would be confusing for him if I then informed him he could run around with his privates out in public.

Vaara · 09/05/2016 14:23

And so the next generation of hysterical prudes is created....

BluePancakes · 09/05/2016 14:25

The Naked Rambler was arrested in England for breaking his ASBO, which prevents him from getting naked in public. Just as a teenager who has an ASBO with a curfew doesn't stop other people being out past 10pm, the naked rambler's ASBO doesn't stop other people being naked in public.

(Whether he should have got the ASBO in the first place, given nudity is not illegal, is a different debate.)

The interpretation of the law is slightly different in Scotland, so I wouldn't advise anyone being naked away from specific naturist clubs/beaches/events; however in England & Wales, there is no such worries.

Claraoswald36 · 09/05/2016 14:25

Yanbu it's a bit yuck. The way I see it is in my garden or a parent friends garden - fine. In a public place it's a bit feral and I won't allow my dds (3 and 6) to do it though dd2 would if she could get away with it!

Original poster
Oysterbabe · 09/05/2016 14:33

I remember watching a documentary about the naked rambler and he happened to be walking naked past a school just as all the kids were leaving. He seemed to be upsetting the parents so I guess he got his asbo for something like that.

OP posts:
mw63 · 09/05/2016 14:33

Boaty, I have had the same with Boots holding photo's back of my Ds in the bath with bubbles up to his waist.
Are you by any chance named after anew boat? Boaty McBoatface has just won childrens competition to name it!

amarmai · 09/05/2016 14:34

Paedophiles are working currently on having their sexual preferences listed as a disability. Another tack they like is that their sexual preference for cc is going to become more accepted just homosexuality had to become gradually accepted. Then there is the line that they cannot help what is natural for them to want to do, but they do not do it-or they use blow up cc dolls or pics or or --. The report on this topic listed above has not given a clear picture. The dimensions of this problem hit me hard when i read that each paedophile will abuse x # of cc and some of those x # of cc will act out their abuse by doing the same to other cc. The mathematical progression is terrifying. Perhaps another line for paedophiles to pursue soon will be that it is normal.Many of those who have posted here to say they wd not let their cc go naked in a park, found it necessary to say they were not worried about paedophiles. I am worried that they found it necessary to deny they were worried about one of the scariest things that cd happen to our dcc. That denial shows how far the paedophile push has come to being accepted as a part of the norm.

4Roseycheeks · 09/05/2016 14:37

Don't think that the child molesters are all men, that would,I'm afraid, be seriously naive. Unfortunately I have certain knowledge of one mother who prostituted her baby daughters and not only "helped" her own father and her husband to rape her children, but got involved along with them and other men. Utterly awful I know., I'm sorry - but worse yet - this went on untill they were 3 and 4 years old when the social services took them away.

PeppermintPasty · 09/05/2016 14:42

Some posters seem to think that if you allow your children to be naked on occasion, you are wildly reckless about all other aspects of their safety such as teaching them that their bodies are their own and private things are private. These things are not mutually exclusive.

Itsmine · 09/05/2016 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Claraoswald36 · 09/05/2016 14:46

Amarmai - that's a really good point. I don't want to over protect my kids to their detriment but the volume of historical offenses being reported now is astronomical :-(

NickiFury · 09/05/2016 14:48

Why does not wanting to see other peoples arses - adult or child make me a hysterical prude? Confused

PalaceResident · 09/05/2016 14:50

This is one of those split topics. I personally don't like seeing other people's children running around naked in public places and would not allow my own to... I'm not sure what the benefits really are. Light summer clothes aren't that restrictive.

Itsmine · 09/05/2016 14:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paxillin · 09/05/2016 14:54

It doesn't, NickiFury. But the 'gross and rank', 'disgusting' and 'put me off my picnic' remarks about naked kids are a bit ott and could be seen as hysterical.

PalaceResident · 09/05/2016 14:55

What is it all about anyway? Are the posters in favour secretly desperate to run around naked themselves thus living vaucarousku through their kids?

PalaceResident · 09/05/2016 14:58

Ha ha vicariously

BluePancakes · 09/05/2016 15:03

Who's to say that the posters who don't see a problem with children being naked, don't run around naked themselves?

mirime · 09/05/2016 15:03

@amarmai there is no evidence that those who are sexually abused are more likely to go on to become abusers as adults.

In the case of child-on-child sexual abuse there is more of a link as an abused child may re-enact their abuse.

PeppermintPasty · 09/05/2016 15:10

It's never confused my children itsmine. Being naked in an appropriate setting is completely different from talking to your children about keeping themselves safe.

I'm sorry that my definition of appropriate setting appears to upset and enrage so many people.

I think you do children an injustice if you think they are so easily confused. Mine are savvy about real threats to their safety.

I think some people are being hysterical about this. Remember, even for utterly reckless, wildly irresponsible people like myself, the times when my DC have actually been naked in public represents a tiny percentage of their time on this world. Perspective is a bit lacking at times IMO.,

Claraoswald36 · 09/05/2016 15:14

4rosey - that's despicable. I wouldn't be surprised if those poor children were in mental
Hospitals now.

petitpois55 · 09/05/2016 15:14

Glad to see most people on this thread think it's inappropriate for young children to be naked in public. Hurrah for common sense..

IrianofWay · 09/05/2016 15:14

IME children decide for themselves when they start to feel uncomfortable with nudity. When they are very small they don't give a stuff, as soon as they get old enough to realise that it 'isn't what most people do' they tend to stop it. All of mine went through an acutely awkward stage about getting changed on the beach and would struggle to change while hidden under a towel. Children reach their own comfort level with nudity and will tend to follow the example of their peers.

Usually they went to the park clothed but anywhere where water was involved they often ended up partially naked simply because they got wet. I often used to drive them home from places just in their underwear because they could get soaked in a bloody desert!