to want a civil partnership rather than a marriage?

[victoriousponge]

I'm in a happy, committed relationship. We were talking recently about the future, and are in agreement that marriage is not for us. However, if the option were available, we would enter into a civil partnership, but legally (as we are not a same sex couple) this is not an option.

I know that there is a challenge to this potentially going to the ECHR (although not sure what effect Brexit, if it happens, will have on that) but in the meantime AIBU to want this?

You can call yourself whatever you like. You don't have to be Mrs anything.

Do you think that your married female friends are less than their husbands?

It's all quite funny this thread

Just do a will if you're worried about one of you dying.

You'd be his wife and he'd be your husband. It's names we use for married people.

Like son, daughter, mother and father.

Blanche - I agree entirely. In trying to create equality (which was entirely the right thing to do) inequality now has arisen.

Same sex civil partnerships very much still exist; although many couples have 'converted' their civil partnerships to marriages, others have not. And same sex couples are still entering into civil partnerships, because not all of them want a marriage.

OP is pointing out that if SOME people can have a certain ceremony and legal paperwork, then others should be able to have that too.

I agree OP.

You don't have to be 'Mrs' you can call yourself what you like. And if you don't want to be someone's wife them don't get married. Draw up wills stating what you want to happen if either of you dies and get on with your life without making a mountain out of a molehill. Surely how you and your partner view your relationship is more important than anything else.

I don't get it. How many degrees of commitment do you want to be able to chose from? Crazy times.

Blanche
Because when I entered into my CP it was because my partner and I were not good enough for marriage, our relationship wasn't the same as Bob and Sues. We were not worthy of getting married because we were two women. Despite the fact that we loved each other, planned a future together, looked after each other when we were sick etc. All the same stuff that opposite sex marriages are based on. We entered into our CP because it was the only option for us to legally register our relationship and yet be not validated at the same time. We went for CP as both of us genuinely didn't see a Tory government introducing same sex marriage.
It pisses me off that OP doesn't see the sheer numbers of people who have been 'othered' through the introduction of CP's.

I think you are just being moany for the sake of it. Civil Partnerships were only created so gay couples could get the legal rights of marriage without offending those religious types who believe marriage is only right between a man and a woman. Now that we have the fair and equal system of marriage for all, CP are obsolete.

If you want a non religious service, then have one. Marriage doesn't confer ownership of another person - it is equal. If you don't want it, that's your prerogative, but understand that you may be limiting your rights as a couple wrt pension/inheritance etc.
The only way to legalise a 'common law' relationship is to get married - that is literally the difference!

I don't feel that marriage, as it exists in English law, is conceived as equal,

Since the definition of civil partnerships is "you get to be like married couples except if we called it marriage Tony's friends in the Catholic church have kittens, but CallmeDave is OK with annoying the ABC", it's not clear what the difference. Could you name one right, responsibility or legal issue that applies to the married but doesn't apply to those in civil partnerships (aside from some rather technical issues around survivorship pensions, I believe)?

If you want a civil partnership in all but name, just get married in a register office. If you can find the difference in your legal status between that and a civil partnership, call us.

Then be Ms . There's no legal obligation to change your name to anything!!! Thanks OurBlanche my mistake, I thought civil partnerships had been replaced by marriage regardless of orientation. Xxx

Sheer cussedness, then. Your relationship is no different to anyone else's; it's just that it's not FAAAIIIIRR.

OMG what DO you want.

Just don't get 'married' then. See a solicitor to sort out your affairs etc and carry on being Miss Whatever.

I don't think anything sets my relationship apart. I am sure a lot of people feel the same as me - and either stay unmarried (as we will do unless the law changes), or compromise their views and marry.

I am sure that if civil partnerships were an option for opposite sex couples, many couples would choose this in preference to marriage.

Draw up wills stating what you want to happen if either of you dies and get on with your life
That doesn't give the same legal protections as marriage. Either party can tear up their will or write a new one if the relationship breaks up.

OP, if you are someone who would benefit from the legal rights that marriage confers, mund you don't cut your nose off to spite your face.

I feel the same OP. I would love to have all legal things that are arranged through the contract of marriage and it would make me feel safer for my future. However both me and my DP can't bring ourselves to get married as like it or not the words marriage, husband and wife to me represent a lot of oppression, unhappiness. I don't think we can just will out the whole repressive tradition of it. I really think people should be able to choose if they want marriage or civil partnership, it all boils down to beliefs and whatever makes you happy.

The differences between the two seem to be:

• the name
• reduced pension rights for CP
• more freedom of ceremony words in CP
• limited recognition internationally for CP
• adultery not being grounds for a divorce for CP
• marriage registered on paper, CP registered electronically
• CP names both parents on the record (marriage dads only)

Have I missed something? You prefer the features of a CP?

Here's ONE good reason to want the right to a civil partnership! And it's a point MANY people on MN have complained about in the past. It points to the antiquated basis of marriage as it currently stands...and how it came from a time when women were the property of their Fathers and then their husbands.

Marriage certificates include the names of only the fathers of the parties.

Civil partnership certificates include the names of both parents of the parties.

If that isn't fucked up tell me what is.

oreos I wish there was a like button for your post.

Also I genuinely don't understand all the hostility against people not wanting to get married but wanting a civil partnership.

Oh, and one key point which the people demanding civil partnerships will never give a straight answer to is international recognition. If you want your not-a-marriage-at-all civil partnership to be recognised as giving you, for example, next of kin rights in hospitals, then it needs to be legally equivalent to a marriage. Which is the thing you claim you don't want. If want you want is a fancy joint tenancy agreement, then get a solicitor to draw one up, but don't complain if the government of OtherCountryStan isn't interested.

The issue for same-sex couples if more complex, because fascist conservative countries may not recognise same-sex marriages or same-sex civil partnerships, because their stupid problem is with the same-sex bit. But for opposite sex couples, marriages are universally recognised, as as things-like-marriages. But not things-not-like-marriages.

So we should change to marriage certificates, not throw the baby out with the bath water.

In WHAT time period are we living? Marriage certificates only include the names of the Fathers of the parties???!!!!

And no, you can't ask that both be included. It's not done like that.

And why hasn't this been changed? Because we live in a sexist world that's why.