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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To invite myself?

29 replies

Amy214 · 07/05/2016 11:28

A family member i havent seen in years died last week and the funeral is on tuesday, today they are having a little get together and they asked if dd (2years old) could go i said yes (i wouldnt be going just her) now i know this side of the family have a problem with alcohol so the more i tortured myself with all kinds of situations i have decided that i will go with them. I asked if it would be ok and they said it would but i cant help but think they are being a bit grumpy about it. Not very many of us were close to this family member she spent her last month in a care home

OP posts:
araiba · 07/05/2016 11:31

eh? are the expecting 2yo to go on their own?

Original poster
Amy214 · 07/05/2016 11:37

No a family member was going to come and pick her up (she knows them as that is the only one we see)

OP posts:
limon · 07/05/2016 11:38

This is crazy!

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 07/05/2016 11:38

This is very bizarre - how is it appropriate that they take your 2 year old?

Original poster
Amy214 · 07/05/2016 11:39

I thought it was a bit dodgy but she was getting picked up and i was getting left behind. So i asked if i could go just so i know shes ok and they are being really funny with me now (currently sitting in my house waiting to leave)

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 07/05/2016 11:40

Why are you not invited thats really odd

Original poster
Amy214 · 07/05/2016 11:41

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger i think its so she can meet the rest of the family but o havent seen them in years and i cant remember what they look like, just there names Hmm

OP posts:
KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 07/05/2016 11:41

So a group of pissheads want to take your child out for a day?

That'll be a 'no'.

What does the two year old get out of it?

Original poster
Amy214 · 07/05/2016 11:42

I know what it felt like to be surrounded by drunks when i was younger so i dont want her to feel the same.

OP posts:
coconutpie · 07/05/2016 11:45

YANBU. No way would I allow a 2yo go! Why weren't you invited to go??

MrsJayy · 07/05/2016 11:47

Why did you say yes in the first place

Gide · 07/05/2016 11:49

No way would my DC be taken away from me to spend time with known pissheads. Either you go with or she stays home, what a mental situation.

Waltermittythesequel · 07/05/2016 11:49

Is this your family or an ex's family??

getyourfingeroutyournose · 07/05/2016 11:50

If the person wasn't important to you, cancel (if you don't want to go yourself). Don't put your DD in a situation where people are being arsey with you at a funeral/wake. It's about the life of the woman who passed away, not parading your daughter around like their own as though you don't exist! How dare they!

Chottie · 07/05/2016 11:51

Just say no.

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 07/05/2016 12:07

It's ok to change your mind you know - although they're family it sounds like essentially they're acquaintances of yours with drinking problems! Remove the word family out of the equation and I'm sure you'd not let her go with them!

mumoseven · 07/05/2016 12:23

I don't think anyone can stop you going to a funeral (or wedding for that matter ) as they have to take place publicly anyway. Or is that weddings only, so that ' say something to stop the wedding or forever hold your peace' can happen.
Sorry. Off track.
Ahem - no way would I allow my dd to be there without me

mmmminx · 07/05/2016 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KoalaDownUnder · 07/05/2016 13:59

Tell the your 2-year-old doesn't really go to social engagements unchaperoned yet. Hmm
Nutters.

Buckinbronco · 07/05/2016 13:59

I agree with mmmminx, it's not usual to be invited to a funeral. You just go. It's about the deceased person, not anyone else

HeddaGarbled · 07/05/2016 14:02

Very bizarre.

If family want to meet your child, why pick a funeral to do it and why expect to meet her without her mother being present?

They sound horrible. I think I'd want to keep my child well away from them.

KoalaDownUnder · 07/05/2016 14:04

Today's the 'get together', though.

The funeral is on Tuesday.

Aeroflotgirl · 07/05/2016 14:04

My 2 year old would not be going on her own without me, especially with virtual strangers.

PestilentialCat · 07/05/2016 14:27

This is beyond weird - of course a 2yo can't go without their parent!

Costacoffeeplease · 07/05/2016 14:32

I know what it felt like to be surrounded by drunks when i was younger so i dont want her to feel the same.

So just say no