To ask how much you save for your child's future...

[Leggytadpole]

Not strictly an AIBU I know but I've just received my child's junior ISA statement which I save £10 into monthly and his DF matches that amount. It's not much but being a part time working single mum I can't really afford much more.

It's predicted to be around £3500 - £5500 by the time it matures when DS is 18. It will probably barely cover the cost of learning to drive and buying/insuring his first car. I know that's good but would not be enough to help with uni fees or a deposit for a house. I guess my circumstances will be different then so hopefully I'll be in a position to help him financially by then but who knows what the future holds.

So AIBU to ask what other people save for their kids?

For the umpteenth time -

savings for a child do not need to be held in their name or in their control at all.

savings for a child do not need to be blown up by them or even handed to them when then turn 18

you can save for a child in a plain adult Isa in your own name and use it as and when they require it

I'm giving my kids their money at 18 and if they blow it they blow it. I am confident in my parenting though that I've raised sensible children. I think it's quite controlling to hide it tbh

come on mumsnet pisssssedoffff when you dc is 18 and ask the question again.
you will find plenty of answers suggesting wait til they are 21 or 25 and tales of regrets, myself included.
why save for your 18 to blow it
no one is happy with that. not even the 18 year old when they realise.

I'm giving my kids their money at 18 and if they blow it they blow it. I am confident in my parenting though that I've raised sensible children. I think it's quite controlling to hide it tbh

I wouldn't hide it at all. I keep it in my name because I only intend to give it to them for university and perhaps house deposit. If they want money for other things they can earn it first.

The point is it's either their money or it isn't why do you get to dictate what it gets spent on

Because You saved for it, to be used wisely and usefully.
You could have blown it but you chose to save it

We don't save for either DD at the moment. At this minute in time we're just starting out ourselves, buying our own house etc. My Mam gave me 5k when o was 18 and I blew it (which I massively regret now) I'd rather focus on overpaying our mortgage and getting a family float so that in 15/20 years we are better off financially (hopefully mortgage free) and can help them with their life then, cars, deposits etc.

Agreed. If it's theirs, it's theirs.

Same as DDs pocket money - She gets £5 a week and can spend it on whatever she wants to spend it on: sweets, comics, crap toys. What actually happens is she saves it up for a couple of months and then asks me to take her to Smiggle - where she blows the lot on pencils and rubbers!

When her CTF comes in she can choose what she wants to do with it - I will suggest sensible options (car, insurance, accommodation, uni) but if she blows it on a gap year or a trip to disneyworld, so be it. I have no reason to believe that she will do that, but if she does I'll just have to suck it up.

If DD was underhand enough to apply for a new savings book at 18, go behind my back, and spend the lot than that's me failed in my duties as a mother! I'd be furious, and disappointed.

Actually, the £200 pm which goes straight into her name is her child maintenance from her dad. I don't touch it, which drives him mad (he's on the breadline so he reckons) and gives me deep satisfaction that he has to scrape around to find it every month (he usually asks his parents) and we don't even spend it. Karma

So essentially, if she wanted to piss that up the wall I'd probably mind less.

I think maybe that's the key a bit to piss up the wall and a chunk that has to be spent wisely

It depends how much there is really. DD already has £4k odd in her savings account at three years old. If she had £4K at 18 then there's not enough to do anything much with, maybe driving lessons. So I don't know, she may as well have some fun and piss it up the wall as there's not enough to cover uni anyway.

Just doing some sums - exh pays £200 a month child maintenance, over 18 years that's over £40k, and it'll be more than that as the monthly sum goes up as she gets older. So maybe a bit to piss away and the rest for something more sensible.

The point is it's either their money or it isn't why do you get to dictate what it gets spent on

It's not "their" money though at the moment. I have saved the money so that I can give them some if they want to go to university and possibly house deposit. If they don't need the money for those things then they don't get it.

If DD was underhand enough to apply for a new savings book at 18, go behind my back, and spend the lot than that's me failed in my duties as a mother! I'd be furious, and disappointed.

She wouldn't need to be "underhand" about it or go behind you back though. That is the point. It will be her money and she would have the right to access it. As far as the law is concerned you would be the "underhand" one if you try hiding her pass book.

There may be issues either way. If you keep the money in an account in your name DWP won't ever believe it isn't yours so you could be forced to spend it on living costs if your circumstances meant you needed to claim benefits.

Mary what the law says and what actually happens are two quite clearly different things here. I will tell her about the money when she's ready to have it. If she knows about the money she will still have it when I say.

If DD was underhand enough to apply for a new savings book at 18, go behind my back, and spend the lot than that's me failed in my duties as a mother! I'd be furious, and disappointed.

Exactly. I'm sure my DD's will spend it wisely.

Mary what the law says and what actually happens are two quite clearly different things here. I will tell her about the money when she's ready to have it. If she knows about the money she will still have it when I say.

No you can not decide that she will have it when you say or decide to tell her. The bank will tell her she has an account. In fact as someone else has said they are obliged to tell her. It will be totally under her control from that point rather than yours.

The kids savings even if in their name count towards what the DWP class as savings ... If you tell them

ToucheShay How old is your child now? Unless they are close to 18 I don't think you can possibly predict whether they will spend money wisely (or what you would consider to be a wise) at age 18.

Actually, DS has about £900 in a CTF, which is all from the government, so he's very welcome to blow that when he's 18.

A cautionary tale about allowing 18 access to funds... My father and my cousins father opened trust funds for all us children. Money went in as dividends from a very successful national company. When my older cousin reached 18 he was handed access to his...over a million pounds Suffice to say he has never worked, married a gold digger and it is all long spent. He still goes back to his dad for handouts. Well, that ruined it for the rest of it and we never got ours. Still, we all got good jobs and paid our own way. We don't need the trust funds now as we will inherit a lot of money and property when our parents pass away. We shall keep passing the trust funds from generation to generation until they are needed.

It would be pretty simple to intercept the letter from the bank; I certainly would.

It would be pretty simple to intercept the letter from the bank; I certainly would.

Apart from the ethical issues of intercepting an adults post, you can't guarantee that you would see their post before them. Maybe you would but maybe not.

Mary some parents throw their hands up at 18 and leave their kids to it.

Others expect respect and reciprocity. I'm fairly sure DD would turn round at 18, say fuck you mum and spend the money if I didn't want her to. That ain't how our house works

wouldnt