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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how much you save for your child's future...

232 replies

Leggytadpole · 07/05/2016 10:09

Not strictly an AIBU I know but I've just received my child's junior ISA statement which I save £10 into monthly and his DF matches that amount. It's not much but being a part time working single mum I can't really afford much more.

It's predicted to be around £3500 - £5500 by the time it matures when DS is 18. It will probably barely cover the cost of learning to drive and buying/insuring his first car. I know that's good but would not be enough to help with uni fees or a deposit for a house. I guess my circumstances will be different then so hopefully I'll be in a position to help him financially by then but who knows what the future holds.

So AIBU to ask what other people save for their kids?

OP posts:

FemaleDilbert · 07/05/2016 18:49

We save our 2 children's child benefit. It is the best we can manage at the moment as still paying 2x nursery fees!

Money is all in my name though, not the children's. It means we sacrifice the tax gains and potential better interest rates that we could get for them, but as other posters have said above, I don't know what they will be like at age 18 (I was awful at that age) and would like to retain control to ensure the money goes towards something sensible, i.e uni, house deposit etc...

passingthrough1 · 07/05/2016 18:57

I don't see the issue at all with children getting a lump sum at 18. I fully intend to discuss it with my child/ children (multiple hypothetical at the mo but saving for them still something I think about a LOT)- what their money is invested in and compound interest, inflation, what it will mean in terms of buying a house etc.
Of course they could still turn around and blow it all on something stupid, but I'd rather that than me dole out money whenever I believe it is a suitable time for them - wedding, babies, house. Worse still them having to ask me for help. It's not for me to pre-judge what they should do and as long as I can give them a good start, I'll be happy.

passingthrough1 · 07/05/2016 19:01

I did get a small amount myself at 18 and because of that always thought of it as "my" money and was grateful and aware of the savings my parents had made over the years, even though it wasn't much. I would be very uncomfortable if they were to just give me money now as an adult on an ad hoc basis whenever they believed I need or deserved it..

Marynary · 07/05/2016 19:08

I don't save any money in their names as I don't really see the need. I save money and will be able to contribute towards university costs. Whether or not I help towards a deposit on a new home would depend on their requirements at the time. I didn't need any help and they might not either.

soundsystem · 07/05/2016 19:17

We were saving £100 a month into a junior ISA, but have now decided to overpay our mortgage by the same amount, so that (hopefully!) when DD is 18 we'll have a lot more spare cash to help her out with driving lessons/uni/deposit, etc.

As others have said, I'm a bit nervous about her getting her hands on a large sum at 18.

We do save any cash gifts at the moment (she's only 18 months so doesn't know any different!) and she has some national savings bonds that grandparents have got in her name.

Vaara · 07/05/2016 19:37

I save:

£20 per month into some kind of oddball pension in DDs name
£200 per month into her savings account
£700 per month into her school fees account

Grandparents etc give on birthdays and at Christmas.

I've no idea how much she has. She's not getting her hands on any of it until I'm sure she won't piss it up the wall.

Strokethefurrywall · 07/05/2016 19:37

We'll be saving $100 per month per child and keeping in trust until they're 25 or 30 if they don't need the cash for anything else.
Uni fees will probably be paid for out of other money but we'll dip into that if needs be.
None of the accounts will be in their names though, these are separate accounts that we have.

Vaara · 07/05/2016 19:39

I should add, she's the only heir on paternal grandparents side. I know they're saving for her separately (don't know how much) and she'll get a lot when that side of the family passes.

My parents have settled £100k on her when they die.

She'll be ok for uni fees and a house deposit hopefully. She's a lucky girl.

mamalovebird · 07/05/2016 19:44

where I get your point. We were originally going to put £100 each per month into the CTFs but when I realised it would go straight into the hands of 18 year old DCd we changed it to £15 per month. That way they can have a bit to buy a car or holiday but the rest of it is tied up in a property, which we will decide to sell and let them benefit when we feel they are ready for it.

The thought of my DS at 18 with 50k in his back pocket fills me with horror 😲

Vaara · 07/05/2016 19:46

The simple solution is you don't tell them about the money until you want them to have it

HandWash · 07/05/2016 19:54

We haven't saved anything for our two DC, I sometimes think I should be (we could probably afford it) but I'm in two minds.

As others have said we spend on holidays, days out, activities etc.

My parents couldn't afford to save for me, DH is the same. I still went to uni and funded myself by working, paid for driving lessons/ bought a car, got a mortgage at 23.

I have every confidence that my DC will be able to do the same. It was a revelation at uni meeting all these young adults who had Mummy and Daddy pay for everything for them.

It was very much not the 'norm' to save for your children in my upbringing.

Vaara · 07/05/2016 20:07

Maybe so Handwash, but it also wasn't the norm for Uni to cost £50k...

Marynary · 07/05/2016 20:14

The simple solution is you don't tell them about the money until you want them to have it

As some has already pointed out, if the account is in their name the bank/building society will tell them when they are 18 and you will have no control over the money anymore.

Vaara · 07/05/2016 20:27

Mine has a savings book, so if I have the book = no access.

Leopard12 · 07/05/2016 20:33

I agree with some others it depends on how sensible your child will be with it, my parents never regularly saved for me but paid stuff for me and as I liked saving I would take great pride in counting my money box of bits of change my grandad used to give me and putting it in my bank account. I had £1000 paid into an account for me from my great grandma dying aged around 6 and my parents decided to add another £1000. I got a part time job and saved up alongside college at 16, and my parents said driving lessons were my 17th birthday present as well as insurance on mums car (which actually wasn't that much with a black box and meant she didn't need to continually give me lifts as shit bus service). She wouldn't normally spend anywhere near that on birthdays but they decided it was a life skill and didn't want me to have to use my savings. At university I had loans and they also gave me food money (£100 per month) as again didn't want me wasting my savings and loan wasn't that much over accommodation. I was pretty careful with it and also had a part time job at uni which means I'm leaving uni slightly up with ~£7000 in my account which includes GG money and plenty of interest that those days gave! This now means I'm about halfway to a good deposit (combined with OHs). My sister is at uni now and currently has a similarish amount, doesn't have a job but did at college and in christmas hols but plans to spend the majority travelling after she's finished her degree.

Leopard12 · 07/05/2016 20:39

Another family I know, they gave their DS £1000 towards lessons/car (he chose motorbike), as he didn't go to uni and they were worried he'd just fritter away all his wages, they've been charging him rent to live at home but not told him they're actually keeping most of it to one side so they can give him a nice lump sum when he needs it for a deposit, which I think is a lovely idea. I think holidays/cars etc it shouldn't be hard to save themselves once earning but a house deposit just seems so unobtainable and far away and people don't start saving soon enough.

Leopard12 · 07/05/2016 20:45

passingthrough depending on the age difference if its obvious its going to be different before the older one gets it you can readjust then can always readjust again but once you've given money you can't take it away from but could always give more so bear that in mind. i.e. my parents invested 'my' money into shares and left my sisters in a savings account, they knew there was quite a difference so took some money out of one to give to the other

Babyroobs · 07/05/2016 20:49

I'm surprised at people thinking in terms of kids getting inheritance. Don't people realise most of it can be gone in a few short years if it needs to be spent on care? With people increasingly living longer and not necessarily being in good health it will become increasingly likely that we will need care in the future.
I have a couple of close friends whose parents have gone into Nursing homes leaving them with no inhertance.

Vaara · 07/05/2016 20:55

Most of DDs inheritance is in trust. It won't be touched by care home fees etc.

LittleRedRiding · 07/05/2016 21:03

I put £100 per month into each dc ISA, they will get it when they are 18. I know there's a risk it could be frittered away, but equally if they want to go to Uni or buy a flat they will need the funds for that.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 07/05/2016 21:16

£5 per month each.
From my experiance of being 18: the money will get splurged on a lot of nonsense. The amount Im saving will be enough for them to learn a useful life lesson when they tear through it (ie: amounts that seem large can still go quickly if your not careful) but not so much that the lesson comes with lasting regret.

hookiewookie29 · 07/05/2016 21:16

like you Leggy we've been saving a tenner a month for DS in a junior bond for 18 years. He's 18 next week and has 3000 coming to him. He wants a car. Without the bond, there is no way we would be able to help him-DH has health issues and can't work much, and I'm self employed. All he wants is a car and I'm glad we saved for him because he would've been so disappointed. Best thing we ever did.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 07/05/2016 21:19

Leopard12 I like that idea. He gets tge money after hes had some experiance of budgeting for rent

MintJulip · 07/05/2016 21:24

It was a revelation at uni meeting all these young adults who had Mummy and Daddy pay for everything for them

Mummy and Daddy didnt pay for me, but I also think, I will do what I want for my dc, not follow the " I didnt have that so they wont" mentality. My family growing up was entirely different to me now, and my family.

Vaara · 07/05/2016 21:30

My dad gave me far too much, he was forever bailing me out. He hates the idea of debt so whenever I racked up debt as a student he paid it off.

I took out a student loan and went scuba diving in Egypt for two weeks. He hit the roof and then paid it all off for me.

No way will I be doing the same!

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