AIBU to ask for your help (re wedding/witnesses)

[HelpMeGetMarried]

I know I'm being unreasonable, posting here for traffic! Me and DP will be getting married without telling anyone (We're just doing this bit for 'legal' reasons hoping to have a renewal of vows later on with family attending etc etc) BUT we have no one we can trust enough (to not spill the beans) to ask to be our witnesses, we need 2.
I know I can pull 2 randomers off the street, but would people likely be happy to do this? have you done this (as the witness or the bride+groom?) I'm also nervous in case we can't find anyone willing and we need to cancel or postpone so would rather have someone set up if that makes sense?
Would you pay someone to do it? We're getting married in a place we don't reside or visit often because we know someone who works in the local one so in theory could post on a local buy and sell site offering a small incentive (ie bottle of wine, lift, gift voucher, tenner?) for doing it, would this work?
I appreciate any feedback!

[WalkingBlind]

I got married in Gretna Green and they offered witnesses if you couldn't bring your own but that could be due to the nature of Gretna lol! And they needed plenty of notice. Hope you have a lovely time

[HelpMeGetMarried]

FV45 it is :( to be fair we don't know many people but the ones we do know are loudmouths... Can't trust them with anything let alone something like this (Unfortunately I've had 3 miscarriages, no surviving children, when I was on my 3rd pregnancy DP told his 'best friend', now former, and told him under NO circumstances to tell anyone else. by the end of the day people I didn't even know were congratulating me on my pregnancy! Made worse by the fact that I miscarried 9 days later, and then still had people asking about/congratulating me on my pregnancy. Which understandably was bloody awful!!)... Very few people I'd trust not to say anything, I was going to have my best friend and her partner (I could turn up to her house with a body and she'd just help me bury it ) but they've just moved overseas! gah! they're struggling for money atm and its very expensive to fly to the UK from where they are (would be nearly 2k in flights alone!) so I wouldn't like to ask as I know she'd do something daft like borrow money or hide in a suitcase to get here!

[holidaysarenice]

Park circus is round the corner from me so I can have a look tomorrow and see if it's open if that is needed?

[HelpMeGetMarried]

That would be great if not too much trouble Holiday, If you're unable to i'll just call when i'm not in work (I'm off Friday and half day tomorrow) so no worries if you can't!

[YouMakeMyDreams]

Can't wait for an update. I'd totally drive to Glasgow to do it if I was free. So excited for you. Quite a thrilling way to do it.

[IdBuyThatForADollar]

I got married in Gretna Green, witnesses provided by the registry office. They were an older couple, in proper wedding guest dress (she had a hat on). I think they'd been witnesses to over 150 weddings at the time of doing mine. They were lovely.

Marriage was shit, mind, but I don't think choice of witnesses was relevant.

[Minisoksmakehardwork]

The only thing I'd say is check where the bans will be published if you don't want loudmouths to know. We married in our town registry office and I'm sure they said the bans would be displayed in the city (county?) registry office about 30 miles away.

[AgentProvocateur]

I dont think park circus still exists as a registrars - it's up for sale. If I'm free, I'd happily be a witness.

[LunaLoveg00d]

Agree though that the City Chambers in George Sq is stunning. Also very central and easy to get to!!

[miniswin]

Park Circus I'm fairly certain isn't operating as a registry office any longer. The City Chambers are nice though. Another Glasgow based volunteer here!

[ratspeaker]

In the 1990s we were in registering DDs birth when we were asked to be witnesses for an English couple we'd never met before.
I often wonder how they got on
I'm in Edinburgh bit have been taking said DD to look at student flats in Glasgow.
So if you really stuck pm me

[DeepfriedPizza]

I volunteer!

City chambers is really handy for a pub crawl after [big grin]

[DeepfriedPizza]

smiley fail

[UptownFunk00]

I hope it goes well for you OP.

I'd gladly do it for someone else but live in SW so very few MNetters seem to be from down this end

[PenguindreamsofDraco]

This is extraordinarily disappointing. Where's the poem asking for witnesses OP? Where's the blatant request for money? You haven't even specified a dress code.

No sense of tradition, some people.

[LaContessaDiPlump]

I wish I was in Glasgow

[MiddleClassProblem]

Maybe we could get a minibus sorted for us in the south it a group booking deal for a flight

[MiddleClassProblem]

I reckon we could pack out a flight to Glasgow ourselves

[Sangelina]

We eloped too; the photographer and venue wedding co-ordinator were our witnesses. I'd love to do it!!

[Alwaysworryingaboutsomething]

Park circus is closed as registry office now. I know I'm repeating others!

Also in Glasgow and would be happy to help. Would also have baby in tow who could just so happen to be in a wee flower girl dress from our wedding happening soon!

[LondonStill83]

This thread makes me happy!

Mumsnet at its finest!

DH and I were going to do the exact same thing OP. Short story is that I am Canadian and was at the time on a sponsored work visa. However work at the time was AWFUL and I was getting more and more depressed; thinking my options were only to move home as I could not take anymore of it.

So DH and I decided to get married so I could just quit and get another job. But we didn't want THAT to be our wedding so decided to do what you are doing: secret ceremony then actual wedding later.

One thing led to another and we just ended up giving an open invite to the registry office and having a piss up in the pub. Over 70 people came and EVERYONE says it was the best / most fun wedding they had ever been to.

So- a wedding doesn't have to be a big planned affair!

[wornoutboots]

kids are absolutely allowed in registry offices - the only people at mine last year were the officials (2), 2 friends as witnesses, and my 3 kids - aged 4 years, 2 years, and 1 month at the time!

(MIL hated it and I haven't been forgiven for refusing to allow her to bully her way in even though it was her son's plan as much as mine and I even checked on the morning of the wedding if he was sure he didn't want to cancel and replan!)

[Iwantacampervan]

If anyone on the South coast would like me as a witness I'm available, for the price of a mug of tea. A bit too far to get to Glasgow unfortunately. I've even got a few hats which haven't been worn for years but could do with an outing.

[January87]

I'm in Dublin but just posting so I can watch this thread!

Good luck OP!

[ssssm]

Awww this is lovely - so excited about the wedding!