Child support for step daughter

[Batgirl29]

To expect step daughters mum to pay some child support? Step daughter lives with us abroad and has done for the last 5 years (before that we did 50/50). Now she sees her mum during school holidays and we pay for the flights to facilitate this. Mum refuses to pay anything, despite working full time, being a homeowner, etc. Obviosuly my step daughter doesn't go without, we are comfortably off and make sure all of our children have everything they need, however it just doesn't feel right that she has no financial responsibility towards her. Do you think it's acceptable for one parent to just not pay towards their child's upbringing?

Of course she should be funding CM.

But like countless parents all around the world if you don't have the facility to enforce it there is jack shit you can do about it other than moan.

But no she shouldn't be funding flights. You made that choice you fund them

Now if I let my XH have my daughter full time because it was in HER interests not in MINE... Well tbh, I wouldn't want to also be paying for the privilege of not even having my own daughter! It sounds like she hasn't dumped the girl on him and walked away - she has given up a lot. No way would I want to me paying my husband to have her when I actually wanted her anyway! She has potentially given up something she really wanted, for the sake of her child. To be asked to pay for that too?

Wow, can you imagine if non-resident fathers took that approach? It's amazing the extreme double-standards on here based solely on the gender of the parent. Loads of non-resident fathers argue that they didn't leave by choice, that ideally they would want the children to live with them etc. Doesn't absolve them from child support responsibilities.

It's not possible to tell whether the mother allowed the father to take their daughter abroad because she was selfless and wanted the best for her daughter or because she was just happy not to have 50:50 responsibility - some fathers aren't particularly bothered about frequent contact with their children, so why not mothers?

However OP, I don't think you have anywhere to go with this. You can't force the mother to pay maintenance if there is no legal framework to enforce it, and you can't make her pay for flights if she can just decide she doesn't want to see her daughter after all.

runningincircles12 don't accuse me of double standards!

I explained my situation in the same post as the one you quoted from.
I do not take the £400 a month I am entitled to from my daughter's NRP father.

I wanted to put forward a different point of view - it's not double standards for me because I live my convictions!

It's not right everyone, but it can be right.

There is a big difference between a NRP saying they won't pay maintenance because they didn't want the marriage to fail and then not having the child 50/50, and a NRP who cannot have the child 50/50 because the child is in another country.

Presumably it was agreed that the mother would not pay maintenance at the time, given this was 5 years ago?

Cabrinha, well that doesn't just apply to a scenario where the child is living abroad does it? What about if the mum moved 200 miles away with the kids and dad says 'well I wanted them with me 50/50 but that's not possible, so I shouldn't pay any maintenance'. You were not the only one on the thread who said that the mum shouldn't pay here because she had allowed the dad to take the kid abroad. I would like to see the reaction if a dad posted saying that his ex and kids live abroad and he shouldn't have to pay anything because it wasn't his choice for the children to move. He would get roasted alive. Liability for child support does not stop just because you don't see the child. If this mum was genuinely against her daughter moving, she could have refused permission for her to go.

Does dhr give the daughter lots of treats when she sees her ? If you don't need the child support and it goes on the kid when she sees her mum I guess it's all ok

some fathers aren't particularly bothered about frequent contact with their children, so why not mothers?

This my exact situation merry.

Dh and I brought 12yo dss to live in the UK with us aged 7. I've known him since he was 2. He has not seen his bio mum in 3+ years and we've started the process of me adopting him. Even before he came to live with us ft their relationship was patchy at best. She skipped out of the courtroom at the prospect of her new-found legally-confirmed liberty when she confirmed his move to the UK. Even the judge commented on how haply she seemed.

The only reason she even saw him 3 years ago was because I flew him over. She couldn't afford a flight here from Europe but can afford to go on long-haul hols with her new dh. Every time we did visit she was a no-show or extremely late so we stopped going.

Like the OP, not a penny of maintenance but plenty of holidays and beauty treatments etc. We didn't want cm but the court imposed it. In our case no contact with has been best for dss and the adoption would end her financial obligation anyway. She doesn't even send a Christmas or Birthday card