*LONG* (and a bit ranty) I am a horrible awful friend but am i really being that unreasonable...? i am prepared for a flaming btw...

[RoystonVaseySmegHead]

one of my best friends is pregnant... lovely! i am so excited for her and i cant wait to spoil the baby rotten when s/he's born. But since i knew her (just under a year) she's been to a&e for quite a few non life threatening things... like 3 of the main things i can remember: she 'dislocated' her collarbone... turned out to be slight bruising... then she had an episode of feeling suicidal... so went to a&e again even though she has counselling and a contact for the local crisis team (i understand mental health and am completely for taking even small things seriously when you feel like taking your life!!)... but there are lots of things she's been for (at least 8 times in the last 6 months that have all turned out to be nothing) and i just feel like she's using the hospital for minor things that could be taken care of at the doctors.. like she could have made a same day appt for everything she's been for, or she could have contacted crisis etc. for mental health things... but now she's pregnant, she was really quite ill a week or so ago, and quite rightly went to hospital and was admitted. turns out she has HG. but last night the sickness pills stopped working and she's been sick today but can keep water down afaik... but she's going back to a&e again today anyway because if it... tried talking her into phoning 111, finding out if out of hours or walk in are open.. and she cant be bothered with any of those because 'they take too long'. AIBU to think she's taking the piss a bit?! if anything happens it seems like the first place shell go is a&e, and its grating quite a lot now, but i cnt decide if im being unreasonable but i probably am.. and now i feel like an awful friend for thinking these things about her when i know what its like myself to be throwing up morning noon and night... what are your opinions on it? like i said in thread title, i am perfectly open to being flamed for being so unsupportive but can i add i havent actually told my friend any of this and have offered to go with her if she needs someone else there apart from her DP because he can be bit of a killjoy/ very unsupportive at times sorry for the rant by the way :/

But you don't always know if you should go or not. My husband went to A&E two weeks ago, he'd hurt his wrist, didn't really think it was broken - it was and he's in plaster now, might have needed an operation due to the type of break. No legs hanging off and no ambulance needed!

I don't think she's unreasonable to go in with HG. I quite possibly had it (not at it's most severe, obviously), and I'm still annoyed that my GP dismissed my concerns at being unable to keep fluids down, said nothing could be done until I became dehydrated and advised me to 'try harder' to drink. The tiniest sip of water would lead to instant vomiting, not sure how you can try harder in those circumstances!

It sounds like your friend's use of NHS services pushes buttons in you and your core values. There's nothing wrong with the way you feel but equally how your friend feels is equally valid. I have a close family member who does the same but I also know she suffers from awful anxiety and can't take it on board that she's fine because the anxiety and fear takes over. I'd say I'd look at what bugs you and why you feel that way and leave it there. You can either distance yourself if this is a deal breaker for your friendship or just accept this is your friend's way of dealing with her medical needs. If A&E get fed up with her accessing the service they will point her in the right direction. Take a big breath and let it go. xx

I guess it depends on your interpretation of an accident or emergency.

To me it's where you are too ill to wait for an emergency GP appointment the next day (i.e. you have chest pains, difficulty breathing etc etc) or you have something that requires stiching/x-raying and setting.

I'm possibly not the best person to ask though as I broke a finger in Sainsburys - put my hand on a bag of frozen peas (I bought them, I didn't put them back) finished my shopping drove home, decided it was a bit late to go to A&E/minor injuries so set it myself and strapped it to the next finger and left it to heal.

I've been to A&E about 4 times, once I had a piece of broken glass in my eye, the other three were with DS2 - two injuries that needed stitched (one head injury and the other was on his leg and was also so manky that it needed properly flushed and another where he had breathing difficulties due to a chest infection, croup and asthma.

I have steri stripped smaller injuries

Could she possibly have undiagnosed Munchausens syndrome? Alternatively, she may just have a GP who is very difficult to get an appointment with.....average wait for mine is 4 weeks and in all fairness , some of the things you mention are things you would go to A&E for e.g a suspected dislocated shoulder and my experience of calling 111 is that they pretty much always direct you to A&E anyway.
I would say that as you've only known her a relatively short time, I'd try not to judge her too harshly: she may just have had a run of bad luck healthwise, it happens. On the other hand, if in another 12 months time you can see that she is just one of lifes panickers and that grates on you, you may need to decide if you can handle being friends with her.

My youngest sister does this with A&E. Drives me nuts! I swear she even considers the police to be her personal service at times! I don't think YABU.

When I was younger, I woke up one morning and couldn't move my right wrist. I was in agony if I tried. My mum took me to our GP and we sat there for 2 hours waiting for the nurse (no hope of seeing the doctor). She examined me and said she didn't know what was wrong, and suggested I go to a cottage hospital for an x-ray. Okay fine. We went to the cottage hospital and got an x-ray. The nurse there said that it would be 10 days for the results so he advised us to go to a "local" walk in (local being almost 2 hours away). Okay. We went to the walk in, got to the front desk and the receptionist said "do you have an appointment?" my mum replied "erm no, this is the walk in isn't it?" and the receptionist said "yes it is, but you have to make an appointment if you want to be seen" The day of trekking around ended in A&E as I was still in agony and still couldn't move my wrist. A&E was the only place that day where something actually happened for me right then right there (although they didn't know what was wrong either, they gave me a splint to wear and a sling, and some strong painkillers). X-ray came back and showed nothing, and we still don't know what was wrong. I still have to wear the splint sometimes if my wrist seizes or aches.

My point is that we went to 4 different places (including a GP surgery and a walk in) and only one of those places (A&E) actually did some good for me that day. Yes the cottage hospital was lovely in taking the x-ray, but that wasn't going to help me then and there. Perhaps your friend is just worried or scared and the first place she thinks of is A&E. On the other hand of course, people clogging up hospitals with minor complaints is annoying and dangerous for other people who actually need A&E services. But maybe she just doesn't see her complaints as minor? All you can do is support her, and if you're really, truly worried about it, mention it to a doctor if she goes again.

(I haven't read the whole thread so sorry if I'm repeating/missing something)