aren't*** MNHQ - title amended to RENT, which is what the OP wanted before her phone intervened***

[bettybear]

My 16 year old DS is doing an apprenticeship and is on more than the minimum rate for an apprentice his age. His take home pay monthly is £750 a month. He pays his own phone bill and contributes to the Sky and broadband as he has his own set up in his room. This morning we have had a discussion about how much rent he pays me weekly. I currently charge him £25 and he gets 3 meals a day, snacks, all his washing and ironing done, his room tidied and bed changed weekly. He has just told me that one of his friends pays £20 a month and another pays £30. These friends are at college but have part time jobs and actually don't warm a lot less than my DS monthly. He thinks I am being unreasonable to charge him £25 weekly but I think he's getting a great deal and would love to live somewhere for that amount and get everything done for me! He's currently saving up for driving lessons and a car and is as tight as a badgers bum when it comes to money but even after paying out his costs he is left with over £600 a month! AIBU???

At 16 he's still a child. I wouldn't dream of charging mine rent unless I was on my absolute uppers.

I took home £500 a month (in 1988) and I was paying £35/week digs and food (no treats, just 3 meals as provided no choice) and I kept my own room tidy, did my own washing, did all the ironing (for 3 brothers and dad), daily hand washed dishes for my family of 7 (little sis dried) and cleaned the 2 toilets/bathroom once a week. Also helped with any cooking type chores - peeling and chopping etc. Paid towards home telephone bill.

He is very lucky only paying £25, but regardless of whether you change that (it should be higher) he should be responsible for his own room/washing/clothes/ironing and also doing a larger share of general household chores to make up for the cheap rent.

My sixteen year old son is also an apprentice, he is also lucky to be paid above the apprentice rate. He pays for his mobile phone, Netflix etc. We gave him the choice of either buying his own food or we would charge him £125 per month and get it for him. This includes all food and drink at home, stuff for packed lunches etc. His job is quite physical and he eats a lot!
Even though both my DH and I work full-time our son has lots more money to spend on himself than we do (after all bills are paid).
My reply when told about mythical "other parents" who charge their young adults less, let them do whatever they like or pick up and clean after them is
"Good for them"
I have never met any of these mythical parents by the way.
My older son lives in his own flat and keeps telling our 16 year old how fortunate he is.

He's comparing the rent with his friends that's why, he thought, he can save more if he'll rent in another place. Just let him understand and remind that his 25 pounds consists of meals, snacks, services and lodging which are not offered in any other places.

Thanks for the replies. I'm feeling much better about charging him £25 a week now. I wish I could afford to not charge him anything but like a lot of posters have said, he does need to learn the value of money and contributing to the household, even if it is only £25 a week, is hopefully teaching him about budgeting his money. He is very good and does buy his own clothes, shoes etc. But before he started working I paid for all of that out of the child benefit and tax credits. He likes buying these designer tshirts at £25 a time and now my budget won't stretch to that. I do still subsidise him to an extent, if he texts me asking me to pick up the expensive hair gel he uses or to buy something off Ebay for him I very rarely ask him to pay me back.

I currently charge him £25 and he gets 3 meals a day, snacks, all his washing and ironing done, his room tidied and bed changed weekly.

Well, what you charge him is up to you. £25 seems like an extraordinarily small amount out of a very healthy pay packet to me, but I can see that if you don't need the money, and you want to encourage him to save for being a student/getting his own home eventually, you might want to charge him a token amount. Which £25 is.

However, if I were you I'd stop doing all his washing and ironing, and tidying his room and changing his bed. Either he does his own, or you have a system of sharing chores between everyone who lives in the house - so he takes his turn at doing everyone's washing, or the cleaning, or the cooking or whatever. You're not doing him any favours by basically acting as his servant when he's more than old enough to pull his weight.

You need to stop skivvying for him. He needs to learn how to look after himself and share domestic tasks.

Please teach him the cost of living. £25 is nothing! Even if you don't need more take it and save it for when he needs deposit etc! Giving him a huge disposable income isn't teaching him healthy expectations.

My ex was shielded from true costs by his family. When we moved in together he couldn't adjust to not being about to afford treats DVDs etc every week. Eventually we split

Second what liiny and Andbaby have said - if nothing else DS needs to get accustomed now to doing his own ironing etc and paying his own way.
I've known a couple of people who had a generous income but paid no rent whilst living at home, and both were terrible at managing money when they did move out.

I always paid 1/3 of what was left after travel. (So if wages were 1000, bus fare was 100, then rent would be 300).

I would probably charge him a bit more, but save it all in a saving account and give it back to him to help with a deposit when he wants to buy his own place - once he has a full time job, obviously. That's what I do with my own kids.

A 16 year old is still a child, I wouldn't expect them to pay for their own food or for basic supplies.

However, I do not tidy up a 16 year old bedroom, and they do some of their washing. If their bedroom becomes too bad, I would charge them the cost of the cleaner required to fix it. It works so far.