To still feel really bad about this

[Wetbankhols]

About five years ago I had a group of friends.

I liked them. My husband hated them.

Then a lot happened at once, and we moved house. At my husbands urging I deleted Facebook changed my phone no and didn't contact them again.

Too much water under the bridge now but I still feel shit about it.

So he had a tantrum that some people saw through him and you didn't feel able to tell him to back off, our make your own friend decisions?

Oh I know he's a controlling bastard don't worth about that

I suppose so Going although it wasn't so much a tantrum as playing mind games.

I bet you could find them on Facebook if you really tried. .. But are you ready to try?

It's never too late with real friends. But they might be worried if you are still with a husband who controls you, and they might tell you so if you do meet up with them. Are you okay with hearing that?

My life has been in many stages. I have great friends now that are not the same ones I had when I was younger. Those old friends are still there, I could contact them... But I wonder if it would be artificial now, and if our lives have become too divergent for us to have the "popping round for coffee" relationship that I have with people who live close to me.

Look them up on facebook, and message them, it's never too late to rekindle old friendships. If an old friend I had lost touch with contacted me after several years, I'd be chuffed.

Are you still with the man who urged you to ditch them?

Your problem is your husband. ... You know this, don't you? Do you have any children? If so, are they okay?

I left my controlling, sulky, bad tempered and shouty husband once I could see what it was doing to the children.

A year and a half later, my seven year old said (today), "I used to think that was just normal, like just life, but I'm happier now".

This is about more than missing your old friends?

Are you still with your dh?

What was it they disliked about him?

I've got a couple of friends I've lost because stuff was going on in their lives and they walked away to deal with it and never came back. I'd be delighted to hear from any of them. It's never too late. And if you contact them and they don't jump up and down, you've lost nothing, whereas if they hug you enthusiastically and tell you they've missed you, you've gained a lot. Nobody's so very hard to find. Especially not if they were on facebook before...why wouldn't they be now?

No, not really

I've felt bad about it for a while.

I've been reunited with a friend I dropped about 10 years ago just because I was in an bad place (no controlling DH involved!) I Facebook messaged her and we've had lovely catching up and tearful messages and we're meeting up in a few weeks time.
Reach out!

I had a friend who had a wife who banned him from seeing us, he git in touch when it went south a decade later.
Real friends will still be there, get back on facebook and give them a search.

I think you might have dumped the wrong person there, OP.

I'd just send them a friend request on fbook. I've got lots of people on mine who I just lost touch with over the years. It's worth a shot, if they don't accept , there obviously still pissed off with you.

Honestly - I don't think they'd want to know. I don't blame them!

Think you might be right Imperial

I had a close friend who cut me off and I guessed it was because her husband had an issue with me. I heard things had gone bad some years later and got in touch with her again. No hard feelings from me - he was a controlling fuckwit and I didnt hold her responsible for that. They are divorced now thankfully and we are friends again.

Just message them something brief but sincere.

I don't understand myself, so I can't expect them to. I just hope they realise I'm really sorry.

I think you sound like someone whose self esteem has been ground down.

Maybe get your life in order and then talk to your old friends? (Unless there are some you feel confident reaching out to right now) In the meantime, maybe women's aid would be a better idea? You can't go on like this! You are worthy of having friends! .... We all deserve to have friends! !

I'm sure you'd be able to find them on facebook if you wanted to.
I wonder if it's easier for you to blame your DH than it is for you take that risk.
It's not too late - take the risk.

^I'd just send them a friend request on fbook. I've got lots of people on mine who I just lost touch with over the years. It's worth a shot, if they don't accept , there obviously still pissed off with you.

Agre with that.

Honestly, I think I would rather keep them as a nice memory, at the moment anyway.

FFS.

Your DH forced you to break contact with your friends because they didn't like him.

Are you seriously asking this? There is literally no way on earth I would allow my DH to dictate who I was friends with and he wouldn't even try.

Yeah ... Like I say, there was a lot going on.

What's the point of the thread? Everyone has said it is worth trying again with your ex friends and you are determined to wallow that it is too late so I'm confused as to what you wanted from this thread.

I think you'd be surprised how much your life will change once you get in touch with your old friends.

Sometimes, there is one thing that drags us down, always making us feel worse.

In management speak it's called Eating The Frog - doing the worst thing you've been dreading first. Everything else feels lighter after that and you will bring some positive changes into your life