Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

WIBU to tell off snobby friend?

74 replies

springtimevintagedream · 01/05/2016 09:15

Not sure how to deal with this.

Friend is lovely but, in all honesty is quite snobby! I was with her yesterday (and some others) and there were a few comments along the lines of -

'I don't want to go there, it's a horrible part of town'
Refusing to send her daughter to preschool somewhere with 'chavvy' parents
Stating quite matter-of-factly that smoking was 'so lower class' (this one was with a touch of irony in fairness.)

Would you say something to her or just let her get on with it?

OP posts:

PPie10 · 01/05/2016 22:29

Meh. Can't get worked up about it or see anything so bad about what she said.

RunswickBay · 01/05/2016 22:32

I hate the word chat.
In fact I hate snobbery. Generally people looking down on others because they don't have the privilege they do is crappy behaviour.

It makes me laugh just how scared mc people seem to be of wc folk. What do you think might happen if your dc mix with (gasp) a child with parents with different backgrounds?

RunswickBay · 01/05/2016 22:33

Oh dear. I hate the word 'chav' not chat

PortiaCastis · 01/05/2016 22:36

Chavvy is an offensive and awful word. I call out anyone who uses it. Please look up it's origins before using it.

looki · 01/05/2016 22:59

I'd say and probably have said all of her comments well apart from the smoking one as I smoked pre kids

Eliza22 · 03/05/2016 07:47

For me, it's not a middleclass/working class thing. I am totally working class. I wouldn't want my DS in the company of some kids in certain areas (where I grew up) now because they are high crime/drug hotspots.

And I have certain people in the family I married into who look down on me and have no idea why DH married someone so "common" simply because they have money and grew up in a "naice" area/home. F**k 'em!

A11TheSmallTh1ngs · 04/05/2016 20:14

It makes me laugh just how scared mc people seem to be of wc folk. What do you think might happen if your dc mix with (gasp) a child with parents with different backgrounds?

I think people are afraid that their children might be "corrupted" by "bad influences" tbh. For e.g. smoking. Smoking is now basically only picked up because of peer pressure or parental example. I'd be afraid to befriend an adult with kids who smoked because their kids are much more likely to smoke and my kids are more likely to smoke because of their kids. Same with teen pregnancy.

Values = contagious.

A11TheSmallTh1ngs · 04/05/2016 20:15

Realize that was unclear. I mean I wouldn't befriend another adult smoking mum because their kids would likely smoke and that makes my kids likely to smoke.

PortiaCastis · 04/05/2016 23:11

I was a teenage Mum and no I did not come from a working class background. I had a contraception failure and could not kill my child.

DixieNormas · 05/05/2016 01:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sharknad0 · 05/05/2016 07:19

Even when your kids are in secondary, parents still have a say on who is invited in their own home

don't you?

KeepingitReal2 · 05/05/2016 07:31

Ok I'm a Doctor and all my friends bought in the nicest parts of town whereas I bought in a mediocre but not the worst area probably because I'm down to earth and was raised on a council estate.

Fast forward years later I totally understand why they did and wish I did but these areas are expensive and to get what I would want (period house) I would need two incomes to be comfortable. I am single though and would like to marry and have children and if I did would definitely move as I would want my children to go to the best schools which unfortunately are in these particular areas.

Also the kids around here are very unruly and I would be concerned about any children of mine mixing with them. I'm not saying that all parents and kids from low socioeconomic areas are the same with low ambition because my parents certainly were not but I do feel parents from higher socioeconomic classes value education more generally.

Saying that many of my friends say things like let's meet in their part of town which I know is to avoid coming here but I don't mind I can understand maybe they are being snobs maybe I am becoming one a little too... Not to worried though as the city I am in has massive generation a the moment and areas like mine have alot of potential because of the large number of Victorian/Edwardian housing stock so prices are rising fast. It's important to remember areas change too!

blinkyoullmissit · 05/05/2016 07:37

From the sounds of things I also should be classed as "snobby"

Not Going to a rough part of town - makes sense to me

Sending her to DD to a decent school - makes sense to me

Against smoking - absolutely makes sense, it's vile

Gwenhwyfar · 05/05/2016 10:47

"Not Going to a rough part of town - makes sense to me "

In the middle of the day? To go to a supermarket? What do you think might happen to you??

DixieNormas · 05/05/2016 14:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sharknad0 · 05/05/2016 14:39

No, I put them in the right school and the right clubs so we don't have to worry about that until they start university when it's up to them

A11TheSmallTh1ngs · 05/05/2016 15:01

I was a teenage Mum and no I did not come from a working class background. I had a contraception failure and could not kill my child.

Abortion is not "killing a child". thanks.

You think not inviting someone to your house means your teen dcs won't be friends with them? what do you do lock them in the house until they are 18

I just think maybe parenting differs. I grew up in a working class area - not underclass or "chav", just good working class people. My BFFs from my neighborhood had long term boyfriends from 13 and were all pregnant by 18. For them, this wasn't a "mistake". It was just a different set of priorities. They stayed close to home and are really happy.

I wasn't allowed to play out on the street and my parent kept me on quite a short leash. Had to stay in and do homework etc. Went to a good school and was very studious. I didn't have a boyfriend until university. I went away to university and live elsewhere. They are my choices and I am really happy. This was most of the people I went to school with.

I want my kids to follow my choices.

PortiaCastis · 05/05/2016 15:42

Abortion is not killing a child thanks
In my view it was and she is now 17 and studying for her A levels. My life probably would have been a lot different without her but I don't regret my decision which was mine to make thanks

A11TheSmallTh1ngs · 05/05/2016 16:51

PortiaCastis

Noone is saying you should have made any other decision. Calling abortion murder is calling other women murderers.They are not.

PortiaCastis · 05/05/2016 17:26

I didn't call anyone a murderer, I said I couldn't kill MY child

Tiggeryoubastard · 05/05/2016 17:37

By saying that you're saying people that have had abortions have. What an utterly shit thing to say. Maybe someone so lacking in compassion shouldn't have had a child anyway. My mother was by no means perfect but I'm so pleased she wasn't such a closed minded narrow viewed individual.

Tiggeryoubastard · 05/05/2016 17:41

And you are calling people that use the word 'chav'. What a hypocrite.

PortiaCastis · 05/05/2016 17:49

It isn't that I agree or disagree with abortion, just that I couldn't go through with it. Everybody has their right to choose and I wasn't saying they didn't. I was talking about me and me only.
I am not closed minded, in fact I'm not bothered what others do. I understand everyone is different and has different circumstances and views and that is their right
So I'll say again I was talking about myself not others. If my dd should want an abortion I would stand by her decision

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 05/05/2016 17:54

I was called a chav once.

I was wearing a blue nurse's dress with a blue striped poncho over the top. Hair in a plait. Looked a bit worse for wear as I'd not long finished a night shift.

I think chavviness is in the eye of the beholder.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread