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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not care

39 replies

appleglitter · 30/04/2016 17:23

Dp has said I can pick my own engagement ring, we will go together in a couple of weeks to chose one that I like. We don't do romance and to be honest if he did the whole big romantic proposal I would find it really awkward and so would he. I told my friend I was excited about going with dp to pick out my engagement ring in a few weeks and she said that she couldn't believe that he's not picking it himself and kept going on about how I wouldn't have a good story to tell people. I told her that really don't care about that and to me it's not about all that at all, though I am looking forward to getting a lovely ring aibu to not be that bothered about the whole big proposal?

OP posts:

Catzpyjamas · 30/04/2016 17:25

I chose mine with DH and DSS
If DH had gone without me, I might not still be wearing it 15 years later.

LindyHemming · 30/04/2016 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

appleglitter · 30/04/2016 17:29

That was mine and dps reasoning. I have to wear this ring for the rest of my life so I'd like one that Id happily wear, dp doesn't really know anything about jewellery which was evident when he showed me a picture of one he liked (great massive thing in yellow gold not me at all)

OP posts:

Quietlygoingmad67 · 30/04/2016 17:29

I went with my partner to pick my ring and 25yesrs later still together and still have the ring. We don't do the whole romantic thing either but it suits both of us so who cares if it isn't everyone else's idea of what should happen - as long as you and your future husband are happy then that's all that matters X

NannawifeofBaldr · 30/04/2016 17:31

You will have a good story:

My DP and I love each other so much we decided to spend the rest of our lives together. We have a wonderful day out and picked out a gorgeous ring together. We are so happy"

^ That is the perfect story. Of a couple who really know each other, love each other and take each other's wishes into account.

Anything else is just for show and show does not a lasting marriage make.

Not everything has to be set up for bloody Facebook.

Congratulations

CwtchesAndCuddles · 30/04/2016 17:31

I went with DH to buy mine - no big fancy proposal!

Not having a wonderful proposal story hasn't been an issue for me lol!!!!

Pinkheart5915 · 30/04/2016 17:32

Yanbu. All that's matters is you are happy with the way you get engaged who cares what others think!
My dh picked mine on his own before he asked, credit to him he has amazing taste and it is lovely I haven't taken it off once.

NannawifeofBaldr · 30/04/2016 17:32

Btw We picked my ring together. We've now been together more than half our lives and married nearly 20 years.

Original poster

appleglitter · 30/04/2016 17:32

I'd be mortified if he did the whole big public proposal, I'm quite a shy person. I'm actually really excited about going with him to pick it.

OP posts:

Whocansay · 30/04/2016 17:33

Your friend sounds jealous, so ignore her. I chose a ring that I love, because I have to wear it. Jewellery choice is very personal.

crayfish · 30/04/2016 17:34

My DP did the romantic proposal but I didn't need it, he's soppy and I'm definitely not! He did it with a haribo ring though because I'm very particular about jewellery and he didn't want to pick something I didn't like. We chose the ring together and went and had cocktails after to make it feel more of an 'occasion' - maybe you could do something like that?

Totally fine not to care though. I cared very little about most wedding stuff!

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 30/04/2016 17:34

We chose my ring together. It remains a really wonderful, happy memory that I treasure.

crayfish · 30/04/2016 17:35

Oh and nobody ever asks to hear a 'proposal story' by the way!

ClaraLane · 30/04/2016 17:36

I saw mine in the window of a jewellery shop and told DP I loved it and sent him a picture of it. He went out and bought it without telling me and proposed a six months later.

crazywriter · 30/04/2016 17:36

I picked mine with DH. I still love my ring. We're not romantics either.

Stiddleficks · 30/04/2016 17:37

Me and dh booked our wedding before I even had a ring, that confused a lot of people, I had a lot of 'but you aren't engaged yet'. It was never a big deal having a proposal and when it came to looking for rings, dh picked out three that he really liked and I chose one of those so there was still an element of him choosing the ring, I just got final say

AnnieOnnieMouse · 30/04/2016 17:37

We went on an Outing together to London to buy my engagement ring. It's our 40th wedding anniversary next month (even tho there are times I could swing for him).
Unless it's a family heirloom or something, I think it's a bit off not to choose the ring together.

wintersdawn · 30/04/2016 17:38

I saw and fell in love with a certain of style of ring overseas on holiday and my DH proposed to me in that country without a ring. When we came back it took me weeks to find the same kind of ring and even then it was second hand so I had to wait for a new one to be made. I now love the fact that I have such an individual style of ring that I picked, I also know it's nothing like what he would have picked but it sits on my hand and I'm the one to look at it every day.

Also after 7 years of marriage I couldn't tell you the last time someone asked me how I was proposed too, I have however been asked where my ring came from which is a story I'm happy to tell.

Original poster

appleglitter · 30/04/2016 17:38

crayfish that's what we're planning on doing we're going on a date in a few weeks that's very special to us and then out for drinks after at our favourite bar where we first met, I thought that was romantic enough but apparently not

OP posts:

PoochiePoo · 30/04/2016 17:40

We went together to look and try a few on to see the sort of style I liked then he went and chose the actual ring himself.

SerenityReynolds · 30/04/2016 17:41

DH proposed and surprised me, but he didn't have a ring. I wasn't bothered in the slightest and actually really enjoyed going to choose one with him. He was worried about getting one I wouldn't really like! We also made a lovely day out of it Have fun!

PosieReturningParker · 30/04/2016 17:47

I did one worse than you...

After being engaged for some time I upgraded my engagement ring.

Original poster

appleglitter · 30/04/2016 17:50

hahaha!!!

OP posts:

FixItUpChappie · 30/04/2016 17:56

considering it's a ring you plan to wear for the rest of your life....I think it's very nice to get a say actually.

MrHannahSnell · 30/04/2016 18:01

I thought the whole business of the bloke picking the ring was a US thing and in the UK couples chose them together.

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