to think that women who are a size 6/8/10 are permanently on a diet?

[SabineUndine]

I don't mean diet as in counting every calorie, but diet as in they hardly eat any carbs and don't eat cakes, biscuits etc more than a couple of times a year? I am not a thin person (you guessed?) and I look at what my really slim female colleagues eat and it's salads with no carbs and just a tiny bit of protein, or soup or smoothies. Is that what it takes to be a thin person?

I find that exercise makes me feel hungrier, generally my desire for food increases and decreases in direct proportion to my activity levels so that my body composition stays constant.

If I want to gain weight then I can deliberately overfeed myself and after a short while that seems to become my new setpoint.
Similarly if I want to downsize I will deliberately reduce my food intake and after a while I will stabilize at a lower weight

Well in my mind, it's not privilege like inheriting millions it's more like being financially prudent.

Person A earns 25k, lives in a small place they can comfortably afford the rent on, and saves 250 pounds a month by not going on holidays and spending loads on nights out and flash cars. Gets the bus to work because it's cheap, even though it takes twice as long. Saves up and buys a home.

Person B earns 25k but is living beyond their means: fancy clothes, exotic holidays on credit cards and an Audi on lease. Photos of which all go on Facebook talking about how they're "loving life". They get to 40 and have nothing but debt due to their inability to live within their means and make sensible long-term decisions, and they want it all NOW, rather than delayed gratification.

That's all it is with the weight thing too. We're all born slim, and what we (and our parents) choose to eat and do changes that.

Nope, I eat what I fancy. I do also exercise but because I fancy doing that too. Your post is a bit like me assuming people who are larger just eat junk, witch wouldn't be right either!

If it took any effort to be a size 6/8 I wouldn't be this size. It's just the size I am. I love food and don't really think about what I eat. I can't stand diet bores. I think I am just very good at subconsciously self regulating. I also have a quite active lifestyle. I don't exercise for the sake of it but I do walk a lot.

Just to add my two pennies.....
Pre DS I was too small for a UK 6, and I ate everything in sight. Literally eating all the time, just never put on weight.
Post DS and 3 years BFing I am a whole 2 stone heavier than before, but still only an 8-10.
It seems to be mainly boobs and a bit of tummy, which is fine! probably the booze
My whole family is veggie, and we are all slim.

I have never, ever dieted. I am a foodie, and I love good food. I drink too much, love cream and cake, tonight we are getting a takeaway, yesterday we had beer battered halloumi for dinner.
But I plan meals for the week, we eat vegan 3 dinners out of 7 and veggie the rest of the time, and we actually like things like lentil stew/tofu etc, and, most importanly (probably) we like healthy food anyway and can sub consciously regulate portions because we feel full.

IceBeing having to eat 1000 calories to lose weight isn't right.

ice its not our faultyou are depriving yourself of food missing out on your dinner is silly but its your choice

^Mistake. Big mistake. This is NOT what thin people do.

The danger of waiting until you are genuinely hungry is that you overeat.^

yup! that's what my overweight rellies do! they wait until everyone's ravenous to decide to start preparing food then they eat too much

Those of us in my family who aren't overweight prepare regular meals at reagular times. And eat at regular times. If it's lunchtime I make sure I eat enough to keep me going without snacking over the afternoon. My overweight rellies often, say, skip lunch then end up going to a cafe grumpy and hungry by 3ish and ordering milky drinks plus paninis plus cake. The slimmer of us don't wait until we're painfully hungry then inhail food without barely chewing it.

Enjoyingthepeace - no you're right, I'm trying to do it at mealtimes, but weirdly I probably need to eat more at those times to avoid eating at other times. However because I'm making more of an effort to eat slowly and savour my food, I tend to get full up quite quickly.

So instead of trying to hold out until dinner and ending up snacking on nuts ( healthy but calorific) I'm trying to be a bit more mindful about it and consciously choose to eat something nutritious.

It's work in progress.

Well I feel really guilty now

Nope, I'm a size 10 and eat what I want but probably not in excess like some of my larger friends. I also walk my dogs twice a day and go to the gym twice a week so I'm pretty active.

1000 calories a day is madness though Ice it is simply not sustainable.

To feel full, the best thing to eat is protein. Was there a reasonable amount of protein in your lunch?

Of course you can eat dinner, a sandwich isn't going to smash anyone's diet.

1000 calories? What an utterly depressing way to live. Won't you just start to put it all back on when you begin to eat normally?

Oh, and with rare exception, I cook everything from scratch.
Pasta sauces/curries/pizza etc.
I really think that helps, when you look at the added sugar etc in jar sauces it must add up.

IceBeing having to eat 1000 calories to lose weight isn't right

and, this is you slowing down your own metabolism

It sounds like you're eating too little and that's what's giving you your slower metabolism, not some cruel luck/fate

I am hungry now - didn't have lunch as I had cake at 11am and was not hungry at lunchtime.
DH is cooking (!!) and it should be ready around half 7. So I won't eat till then. I might pick at DC's leftovers if they're not too disgusting but only a little bit. I don't think of it as starving, just of listening to my body and being sensible. I am really happy with my figure and I love food and wine, but I definitely am careful.

Not eating cake, crisps, sweets is not being on the diet. It's just not eating harmful junk.

I think for the majority of people who are slim and say they eat what they want/don't think about if you add the food they eat and account for any exercise over a week or a month they are probably within the net daily calories recommended. They just don't make a big issue of food and don't eat when they are full.
There will be some slim people who really can eat whatever they want and have more calories than average and are just lucky (if you want to put it like that) with how their body reacts, then there will be some who really work hard at it and watch what they eat and exercise.
In most cases people who are obese overeat and under exercise and I say that as someone who is morbidly obese! Of course there will be a minority who are very restricted in what they eat and exercise and still put on weight.
But the boring truth is for the majority of people if you are in or around the recommended net calories/fat/sugar intake (food less exercise) you will be an average weight.

IceBeing your resting metabolic rate is probably much more that 1000 cals.

Have you tried working out what it might be?

I've got a link if you want it?

And to add another point ....
I walk everywhere, don't do "proper" exercise except for yoga at home when I can be bothered, maybe 3 or 4 times a month. But I don't have a car and will walk for miles ocer the course of the day.

I'm not sure on this one, I've lost five stone with two left to go until I'm a good BMI and happy with that. Pre weight loss I did eat too much, and convenience food with no planning. In order to maintain/continue I am very mindful of everything I eat. I try to prioritise vegetable, lean meat and as unprocessed food as possible but use these to make things I like.

I know if I stopped planning my food (to be fair that's also a budget and hating waste thing) I'd gain some weight again. I don't think I'd ever gain a lot though. Cutting processed food and alcohol has meant I crave it far less. I have things like that maybe twice a week in careful portions.

Sure if I eat a salad I'd far rather a stuffed wrap with loads of hummus but I rationalise that essentially my body is a machine and it functions best when I eat mindfully.

Utterly crucial for me is lots of water and walking.

I think unless you were slim naturally eating is something you'll need to be aware of but it is worth it.

Enjoyingthepeace many slim people only eat when they're hungry.

I certainly wouldn't eat just to 'refuel my body' because the clock says it's a certain time and I never have. I listen to my body and only eat if I'm hungry.

It's not the same for everyone though.

IceBeing portion control, good choices and exercise don't be extreme and not eat!! To be honest everyones body is different and only god knows where id be without the gym everyday x

"thinks a pasty or sandwich from a shop is a between-meal snack "

This reminds me of a time when I told a friend that a portion of chips was a meal and not a snack. It didn't go down well.

don't do "proper" exercise
I get your point BadDo, but imo walking absolutely does count as proper exercise, it's also very handy for getting from A-B :o

exercise may not work all that well for weight loss but it does help to maintain lean tissue..the loss of which contributes to the drop in metabolic rate that many people experience once they get into their 40's/50's