About an unwashed load of laundry.

[DeadGood]

OH working from home today, asked him to hang out the load of washing that was in the machine. He did so, all was well.
We're just getting ready for bed and I was putting the dry clothes away. We have no window coverings yet in our bedroom and a bright streetlight outside, and we live in a busy area. So at night we tend to leave the bedroom light off when we are getting ready for bed, as its bright enough to see what we are doing and we aren't lit up for everyone outside to see.
Even in this low light, I sort of had a feeling something wasn't right. The clothes felt a bit ... Soft, and not freshly cleaned. As I reached the end of my folding, the penny dropped and I went through to ask OH if the clothes had been wet when he'd taken them out. "No" was the answer, though some items were a bit damp.
The machine hadn't run. And I'd just filled our drawers with dirty clothes that had been sitting in with a wet towel that we used to dry the dog after his bath. We use soap nuts so our laundry doesn't come out scented - it just sort of smells like nothing, so the lack of washing powder smell didn't tip me off. But even in the dark I could tell ----eventually that clothes weren't clean!
I know it's my fault as I told him to hang it out. But AIBU to wish that he'd engage his brain a little??

If he's asking you unnecessary questions, dare I suggest that it's part of a cunning plan to just get you to do it for him.
My dh starts bleating "I think that's a 2-person job," at which point I know he's going to find a way of wimping out of whatever it is by getting me involved, and eventually one of the kids. He's so transparent.

So how come so many of you are excusing them from basic laundry duties because their poor little brains can't manage to switch the bloody things on?

I can't see a single person on this thread who's done this. I may have missed one or two, but certainly not 'many'. Some of us may be irritated as hell by our DH's incompetence over basic domestic tasks, but it doesn't mean they get out of them. Or perhaps they just do another domestic task instead.

We'll have the last laugh when we're dead and they have no clean clothes.

My husband is useless with laundry. If I were young and single again I'd make certain that the man I chose were a competent housekeeper, but I fell in love with someone who's not.

when we moved I. Together DH was "incompetent at basic domestic tasks" because he had always lived at home with an over indulgent mother so he'd literally never washed a dish.

Not his fault, that was how he was raised.

As soon as he moved in with me he started learning though and was fully competent in short order.

Running the washing machine, doing a load of ironing, hoovering, cleaning floors and loo. There is nothing hard about this stuff. If they don't know how, show them, don't be a martyr.

I'd find a man who was incompetent in this area deeply unattractive.

Apple - he could always choose to learn.

Apple - he could always choose to learn.

True. His reasoning is that he wants to have more help around the house and I don't, so it's my problem.

Apple - wow. Ok. So long as you're happy living that way. I wouldn't be but each to their own...

I really don't understand this bemusement at the poor useless men.
Can he manage to operate a computer ok? A phone? A car ?

He just thinks it's not his job so can't be arsed to give it any thought.

YANBU
When my OH lived on his own he used to have a cleaning lady come in once a week or so to clean up and put his laundry on and he would never think to hang it out until days later and then wonder why his clothes smelled like damp....
Some men seem to lack the "think ahead" or "use your brainbox" chromosome....I'm sure I'm not the only one but it really drives me mad when my OH is looking for something e.g. In a cupboard and can't find it, he'll ask me where it is and I will actually describe (e.g.) it's on X shelf on the right hand side behind X item , and he just says it's not here and then I storm into the room open the cupboard and voile here it is EXACTLY where I said it was he just didn't move whatever I said he needed to move out of the way.
Or he opens the fridge and just stares at it looking for something without going in it like the cheddar cheese will magically know he's looking for it and will fly out of the fridge and onto the counter for him...

So are these men who can't operate basic machinery incompetent in other areas of life? Do they manage to hold down a job that has any kind of intellectual challenge?

Thoroughly depressing.

"So how come so many of you are excusing them from basic laundry duties because their poor little brains can't manage to switch the bloody things on?"

Actually he got up with the baby half an hour before I did, did breakfast and I came out to see the load spinning away in the machine.

It was a mistake, but a very tiresome one. He is very equitable, just crap with laundry. I don't know what the answer is, he simply doesn't care about it like I do.

On the other hand, I am constantly making s mess of our hall cupboard which he sorts out every weekend. This frustrates him, but I am just crap about it. We balance each other out

i wouldn't want my OH getting involved with the laundry.
Works like clockwork without him.

Not only do all these inept men, who cannot operate washing machines, hold down jobs. They are also likely to be paid more than us for said job.

Seriously, couldn't be doing with it.

My 4 year old dd3 had to tell dp how to use our washing machine last year after months of saying it was too hard to use. Apparantly she said 'come on daddy it's easy, you need to help mummy more'

Shown up by a 4 year old, he's never whinged about the washing machine again, puts washing on all the time now ha

My FIL is like this, he's been retired 15 years and does nothing to help with the housework. MIL wants to downsize because the housework is too much for her now she is having side effects from her high blood pressure meds. FIL doesn't want to move. DH keeps on at him to help his mum but he refuses. When we are visiting he gets MIL to tun around after him whilst he sits watching TV, he is fit and healthy. I never say this to DH but for MIL sake I hope she outlives him and gets a rest when she's widowed.

Anyway I guess the moral of the story is if you don't want to be your DHs domestic servant in old age put your foot down now.

If my DH did that (which he wouldn't) i would be getting him to get all the dirty washing back in the machine and wash it. I'd probably assist him because I forgot to turn it on, but no way would I be doing it by myself and thinking its a bit of a laugh having an 'inept' husband. In the end the joke is on you, because you are slaving away whilst they are not.

When me and dh moved in together her managed to turn all my white bras, grey. On more than one occasion. He rarely ones washing now. Though he does hang it out. The second time I lost my shit, because the first time I told him not to wash my stuff anymore. I was left having to replace bras from a tight household budget, because I had to wear a white shirt for work and you could see the grey through it.

But I don't care that he doesn't do the washing, because he does all the cooking and food shopping, which I hate.

Tbf to the OPs dh, I once unloaded a dishwasher that hadn't been switched on. I was distracted and not paying attention to what was in there just doing it.

In fairness to your oh, my machine has quite a strong spin so things like underwear, t shirts and thin bedding tends to come out just damp. If the waging wasn't "dirty" then I can sort of understand how he did it to be honest. I have done it more than once, especially if I have put it on before bed and then gone to out out/in dryer the next day

I think you are being a little unkind. Ultimately the fault is yours for having not switched on the machine. It sounds more like you are taking your frustration at your own error out on him.

My DH did that once. Very strange to hang out dozens of bone dry but dirty clothes, and not notice.

He used to do the washing, but would decide that half the stuff in the laundry basket wasn't really dirty and could be worn again. Fine, but instead of putting these 'clean' items away, he would either chuck them on dc's bedroom floors (where they would stay until I picked them up and washed them), or put them in with the giant mountain of ironing. We had very different standards of what we considered dirty washing, it caused too many arguments as he considered it wasteful to wash clothes so often. We have very different standards of clean in general.

So now I do it all, and he keeps his mouth shut about what I'm washing. He knows how to use the washing machine, but I do all the washing.

Some people on this thread need anger management classes. Ive no doubt some people will be choked by their own halo soon.

Laundry is my non shared task. I don't want any interference. I have a system that works and I don't find it a chore.

I don't think anger management classes help get the laundry done peggy.

I think some men need to take an active role in the household and not assume it is just wifework.

captain I feel sorry for your mil, what a miserable way to live.

ElfAndSafetyBored

We'll have the last laugh when we're dead and they have no clean clothes.

SOLLMHO