About an unwashed load of laundry.

[DeadGood]

OH working from home today, asked him to hang out the load of washing that was in the machine. He did so, all was well.
We're just getting ready for bed and I was putting the dry clothes away. We have no window coverings yet in our bedroom and a bright streetlight outside, and we live in a busy area. So at night we tend to leave the bedroom light off when we are getting ready for bed, as its bright enough to see what we are doing and we aren't lit up for everyone outside to see.
Even in this low light, I sort of had a feeling something wasn't right. The clothes felt a bit ... Soft, and not freshly cleaned. As I reached the end of my folding, the penny dropped and I went through to ask OH if the clothes had been wet when he'd taken them out. "No" was the answer, though some items were a bit damp.
The machine hadn't run. And I'd just filled our drawers with dirty clothes that had been sitting in with a wet towel that we used to dry the dog after his bath. We use soap nuts so our laundry doesn't come out scented - it just sort of smells like nothing, so the lack of washing powder smell didn't tip me off. But even in the dark I could tell ----eventually that clothes weren't clean!
I know it's my fault as I told him to hang it out. But AIBU to wish that he'd engage his brain a little??

[DeadGood]

bibbity I told him, "well god I can do better than that!" He puts up with a lot of my shit and incompetence now that I think about it though.
fabfivefreddie soap nuts are brill, they are a dried berry, and you put a few in the machine. They lather up and are good for the environment (cue someone telling me that the crops ravage the earth and they are harvested by expoloited children... But they are supposedly good). Used in India in days of yore for clothes washing and hair washing! Get involved!

[RainbowFlower24]

Oh well, a bit gross but at least he didn't put your New tops in the tumble dryer and shrink them then get all huffy when you suggested checking the labels thanks for that DH

[GreenMarkerPen]

how about he does all the laundry for a month?
tbh, washing mashines are really easy to use. easier than most household jobs. so no excuse.

[DeadGood]

wombattoo but you'd be happy I think. I'd be lumbering about in the background howling about laundry as you guys floated about in a haze of ignorant bliss
pearlylum I guess the dog towel is a bit skanky. He's quite a clean dog really. But yeah the thought of his damp towel isn't filling me with the warm and fuzzies

[UterusUterusGhali]

Do they not naff up the machine and get caught in stuff?

[AriaTloak]

YABU I'm afraid!

I once asked DH to turn on the washing for me, spied him through the door staring at it blankly for what felt like 5 solid minutes. Eventually he came running upstairs scared & confused.

[FuriousFate]

Ah well, he can do his own washing for a while now, can't he? I couldn't bear to be married to someone so juvenile. He can't not have known. How sad that he treats you like his maid.

[DeadGood]

rainbowflower yep, that's happened too... Genuinely can't tell if something is knitted and made of cashmere or wool and therefore not a top candidate for the 90 cycle.
I do most of the washing round here.
He does the AV though. There is a lot of AV. If it were up to me I'd watch everything on my laptop, but apparently it is preferable to beam everything via magic or possibly the Internet onto the screen and for the sound to come out of the wireless speaker, or something.

[DeadGood]

uterus you have the best username ever.
The nuts come with a little net bag, that you use twice then it tears, and thereafter you use one of those lingerie bags. Occasionally the zip opens up and when you shake out the laundry the nuts sprinkle all over the floor, but that's fine because then a dog or toddler comes over and tries to eat them.

[StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine]

DH has been known to repair washing machines eg replace worn brushes or scaled up valves. Any attempt to use it invariably goes badly wrong.

The last time he used it, the door handle broke (not entirely his fault - it had felt a bit flabby for a few days - he got confused about how and when to open the door and finished it off). He took a bagful of stuff to his mum's, that week. I included detailed instructions. When he came home, he said I'd forgotten to put the measuring cap in (the one I'd showed him when explaining the instructions to him), so he'd had to improvise. I'd only put it back on the bottle (Ariel Gel), but he insisted it wasn't there. I ended up showing him where it was when he brought it back home again.

[Eeyore321]

That would really annoy me, but I would just huff, silently seethe and get on with it. Takes longer to have an argument about then just fix it myself and I already know that if want something done my way or right then I have to do it myself. I would mention it, but I'd know that it wasn't done on purpose. Everyone does stupid things every so often....

[ElfAndSafetyBored]

We'll have the last laugh when we're dead and they have no clean clothes.

[MarkRuffaloCrumble]

Elf delayed gratification indeed.

[StuckMelia]

Yanbu.. He should have smelled if it's clean or not.

[abigamarone]

This is the sort of things my kids do, but I persevere and they can both now put laundry on and put it out on the line to dry. Their methods aren't necessarily the same as mine (especially the way my eldest hangs tshirts) but I point blank refuse to inflict young men into the world who can't operate a washing machine.

[MsVestibule]

He can't not have known..
Why on earth would he waste his time hanging out the washing, all the while thinking 'ha, I know this hasn't been cleaned, but I'll carry on anyway!'?

She's obviously married to an idiot, but your faux sympathy How sad that he treats you like his maid is ridiculous.

OP, I started a similar thread a few years ago about my DH (I'd left a note asking him to take the washing out of the machine - he did so, but just left it in the basket, rather than hang it on the airer). I had loads of comments saying what a lazy sod he was, of course he knew what he was doing, etc. He really didn't, though. He's just an idiot, too. But a lovely one, and brilliant in so many ways.

[FuriousFate]

MsVestibule - it's not faux sympathy I actually think it's tragic that there are so many women married to men who can be perfectly capable at work, but when it comes to home life and so-called wifework, they're more than happy to play the ignorant fool in order to achieve their end goal - ie not be asked or expected to compete that task again. Have a look at the incompetent husband thread over in Relationships - you'll see what I mean. Confusing dry washing with wet? Seriously? Nope - don't buy that for a minute.

[FuriousFate]

complete

[cruikshank]

I actually think it's fucking embarrassing for a person to reach adulthood and not know the difference between washed clothes and dry clothes. And all of this tinkly-laugh 'oh my dh is so crap, I have to do everything' just masks the very real problem that it's easy for a man-child to abdicate himself from every domestic responsibility including even getting his own fucking pants clean.

[DeadGood]

cruikshank I know just what you mean about the "husbands, who'd have 'em? Titter! Back to the washing machine for me!" thing. Depressing as hell.
The clothes are back on the kitchen floor in front of the washing machine, he'll be dealing with them today.
It really wasn't intentional. Very irritating, yes, but I don't think he'll make the same mistake again #sigh

[Junosmum]

She has done this before. I feel your pain. But after this he then put a washload back on as it was dry- I'd put it through the dryer!

[littleducks]

To be fair my trials of washing with soap nuts (bought after MN threads racing about them) was pretty similar. I was hanging out still dirty clothes even after the cycle had run by properly.

[clam]

It puzzles me, this apparent inability on the part of some men, to work out how to use a washing machine. All the machine repair engineers I've ever come across have all been men. And I'd hazard a guess that most employees in the factories that make them (robots not withstanding) are male too.

So how come so many of you are excusing them from basic laundry duties because their poor little brains can't manage to switch the bloody things on?

[crazywriter]

YANBU but some men just don't think. Actually some people in general don't think. My DH put a washing load on last week while I was trying to nap off a migraine. DD1 (4) was very quick to tell him there was just water in the washing machine and laughed. Turns out he didn't put clothes in the machine before turning it on! He joked saying that he'd never Ben any good at running the household and can't understand how I look after2 children, keep the house mostly tidy (I have bad days) and work from home (hence the bad days). It made me feel good but I had to laugh afterthought him because I know it was just a silly mistake.

[scaryteacher]

My DH is a C.Eng, but still has to ask me which cycle he should use, despite having coped with said washing machine for 8+months when we were living in different countries!