Card not arrived for dn bday.

[martha16]

A few weeks ago it was my nieces birthday. At the time I could only afford £10 and promised I would pay the rest when I could. My sister wasn't happy about this and I received some nasty messages.

My nephews birthday was on Tuesday. On Saturday I sent a card with £20 and £10 for my niece 2nd class because I literally had no other money to pay recorded etc and had a spare 2nd class stamp.

It hasn't turned up. And every single day Iv been getting messages saying how Iv let her dc down (they are 17&14).

I 150% sent it and fuming with being accused of not sending it! I don't know what to do! I can't afford to replace the £30 yet. I feel so bloody awful!!

😪

Firstly, and bluntly, your sister sounds like a bitch. No one is entitled to presents, and being understanding that not everyone can just buy presents like money is no thing adds to the bitchiness. Sometimes, people forget, or can't afford it, or maybe they just think that birthdays are no big deal. Either way, she's not very endearing to be snarling.

Also, if her teenagers are upset (you haven't mentioned this) then more fool your sister for raising them to be upset over that when auntie isn't rich.

Secondly, I would be fuming with the post! I think it's a lesson to not send cash in cards - I never do in case it gets nicked. Rare I would have thought but it could happen.

typo - NOT being understanding that not everyone

Sounds like your sister is using her dc's money for other things. That's probably why she is so rude about the delay. Fwiw I would give what you can afford, not what she is demanding or expecting. She had the children so it's her responsibility to pay for them.

Firstly, and bluntly, your sister sounds like a bitch. In future just send a card.

promised I would pay the rest when I could

It's a gift not a bill?! Who set the rules that you have to give a certain amount?

You are mad to put cash through the post.

And your sister is unreal. Grabby or what?

Constant text - she can big off!!

Tell her you are no longer doing birthdays -

I wouldn't be bending over backwards for your sister! How rude!

I'd call the dc and see if they have received it, and apologise if they haven't. But it's high unlikely that it's just been lost in the post she's pulling a fast one.

And text back to your sister.

'due to all this unpleasantness I think it would be better if we just did cards for birthdays from now on'

you posted about this before, about your DN - seriously you need to tell them that you HAVE no money and cannot afford to give them this much

you DO NOT!!!! owe them money and if they get it they are lucky, and if not then tough!

I'm with eatshitderek. They sound like a bunch of spoilt brats. Fuck them

My eldest sister used to pull this sort of crap and I've never received a thank you from my nephew and niece for all the thoughtful gifts over the years.

They now get an animal sponsored in their name, trees planted via oxfam, or a some sort of charity donation.

Harsh, but I'm sick of their entitled crap.

Your sister would not be getting another penny off me if you were me ever!!!!

YANBU If I told my brother I could only afford £10 for his kids birthday and he was shitty about it I'd decide not to send anything. As it so happens they always buy my son presents and I rarely buy theirs - at Christmas I tend to buy them a big tub of sweets to share, it's not much, a token gesture if you will, but I'm a single parent and at college (so I don't get income support/job seekers allowance). I'm barely scraping through the week as it is ... !

My first thought to this weather the sister is lying and did get the card If I send money through the list I always get it recorded so it is covered in case of damage lost or indeed stolen but also they have it sign it it is impossible to prove either way but she does seem grappy

This isn't a debt you are repaying!

Tell her from now on you are not doing birthday presents for neices or nephews and you don't want any in return. Why do people put up with this sort of shit?

I feel for you so much!
Not only has the postal systm let you down but it seems really hard thst family expectations are a bit ridiculous. YOu should not be expected to provide gifts of great value, and definitely not if you cant afford it. I think £10 for a gift for a teenager is absolutely fine. You should not be giving more than that! Outrageous.

Wow, you sister sounds delightful!

The DC are older too- old enough to understand that by everyone can afford to give them £20 for their birthday.

If you want to give them money in future, I'd probably do an bank transfer to be on the safe side. But a token gesture or just sending a card is also fine. Did your nephew thank you for the £10 he did receive?

That should be "not everyone"

Your sister sounds awful. What a bitch. Seriously, if you are that skint you shouldn't even be worried about sending your niece or nephew anything! At 17 I would have completely understood if my auntie couldn't afford to give me any money. Gifts are optional and should never be expected.

I agree with pp. glitter bomb the cow and block her number.

A card posted second class on Tuesday wouldn't necessarily arrive by Friday, depending on collection times etc. I will probably arrive tomorrow. In future though, it might be best to get the kids' bank details and transfer the cash because you have no cover whatsoever if you send cash in the ordinary post and it goes missing.
Assuming that you don't tell your sister to fuck right off and decide not to send anything in future, that is.