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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To demand people keep their dogs away from me on the seafront

999 replies

TigerPath · 29/04/2016 07:16

I'm sick of random dogs coming up to sniff me and DS or getting under my feet. All dogs make me nervous even small ones. And I hate it when they cock their leg on my pram wheels

So now when a dog comes up to me or just before it reaches me I shout to the owner (politely but firmly) 'please keep your dog away from me/my pram'
Most oblige but a number are rude! Yesterday a woman retorted crossly 'but it's the sea-front'. I replied 'they should be on leads' and got a mouthful of abuse. There is a bloody great sign saying 'dogs should be on leads on the promenade'!! I wouldn't care if people kept them to heel but I don't want them touching me, my pram or tripping me up

AIBU??

OP posts:

Thread gallery

LyndaNotLinda · 02/05/2016 21:41

PovertyPain :( So sorry for your loss

Bleedintired · 02/05/2016 22:36

Their behaviour is actually illegal. Fact.

JeanGenie23 · 02/05/2016 22:51

poverty

I don't think people understand unless they have been pet owners themselves. I was devestated when my dog died, he had been in my life for 18 yrs, of course i loved him.

FarrowandBallAche · 03/05/2016 06:44

Poverty I am so sorry for all what you have been through recently

Your little dog was amazing. I'm so sorry you have lost him.

Rip little lad

PovertyPain · 03/05/2016 06:48

Thank you for all your kind comments.

Roussette · 03/05/2016 09:04

I've read most of this thread and I'm torn. Yes, I think people should keep their dogs under control and I was very verbal about too many dogs in pubs on another thread. (Nothing against it at all, but on a busy standing room only loud music Saturday night, I think it's ridiculous for there to be loads of dogs in there. There's a time and a place and sometimes I want dog owners just to give it up and let the humans be squashed together in a pub without having to give room to lots of huge dogs pushing through groups of people. It's the people that keep the pub going paying for their drinks, not the dogs!)

As far as this thread, there is some hysteria I think. I live in a real dog place and my only proboem is NDN's dog. Not do'g's fault, she didn't train it properly and she has to keep it away from other people or it will jump up always and it's claws are sharp! The rest of the dog population here aren't a problem at all and I've never encountered a problem.

I do however not understand when dog owners say they prefer animals to humans. I find that the weirdest thing to say. You have to live, communicate and spend time with other humans - to not like them is rather worrying.

Also the words "fur babies" makes me see red.

Just control your dogs all you dog owners and life will be hunky dory. And as for taking out a can of hairspray or mace or whatever, that is ridiculous.

Roussette · 03/05/2016 09:06

Poverty I'm sorry you lost your little dog and I didn't mean to aim that comment at you regarding preferring dogs to humans. I was thinking more about someone I know who repeatedly says it.

PovertyPain · 03/05/2016 09:22

That's ok Roussette. Fwiw, I agree about not having poor dogs in crowded pubs, but not because they shouldn't have a right to be there, but because it's not fair on the dogs. A nice quiet pub is great but it's cruel to have them in a pub playing loud music, due to the dogs not being able to escape the noise and crowd.

Regarding the person that says they prefer dogs to humans, maybe they've been hurt by too many humans in their life. People wouldn't prefer their dogs if there were less nasty people. I have wonderful friends and family but have had some horrific, not exadurating, experiences with humans. I've never been abused, mocked, manipulated by or bullied by a dog. I also don't hate ALL humans and see them as a threat, because if my experiences in life, unlike some of the ranting that has been directed at dogs and their owners, on here.

Rosebud05 · 03/05/2016 09:31

I don't have a problem with people who prefer their dogs to humans. It's entirely up to them.

I do have a problem with people who assume that I want their dog sniffing, jumping up, barking, running up to me without checking with me first.

I've just come back from the school run. Walking through the park, 3 dog owners with 4 dogs between them chatting. One on a lead, others chasing each other around. One dog owner calling his two dogs.

No problem, I'm happy to wait for the dog owner to get dogs under control. He calls them several more times, then runs after them trying to grab them. Call, run after, try to grab again. I suggest that he might want to wait until his dogs can be controlled before he lets them off a lead in a public place, he retorts 'they are under control" (they're tearing down the hill whilst he calls their names at this point) and one of the other owners tells me that 'we all have the right to enjoy the park'.

Other dog owner (with off lead dog walking to heel ) agreed with me though, so that helped.

This is the sort of (frequent) situation that I find so wearing. Very happy to wait for owner to get dog under control. Except they can't, and don't recognise this is a problem, including potentially for the dog.

Roussette · 03/05/2016 09:36

Poverty

Yes maybe the person I know feels like that. I used to be a good friend of hers but she pushed me to the limits repeatedly, I was always there for her but after one last episode, I had to go NC for the sake of my sanity, but that's a whole other story!

I think there are well behaved dogs and hooligan dogs - not their fault - it's the owners fault. I love well behaved dogs, and just get exasperated at hooligans like my NDN's dog. Went round there the other night for a drink, I was sat on a bar stool and I kicked my shoes off as I perched there, as you do. Within seconds dog had swiped a shoe, was running round like a whirling dervish and it took a while for NDN to get it back. There was slobber and teeth marks on it, yuk! However, I blame NDN, they had the dog from puppy and said they didn't want to crush it's spirit!

Shining15 · 03/05/2016 09:43

I blame NDN, they had the dog from puppy and said they didn't want to crush it's spirit!
The dog is the owners' emissary, it does the owners dirty work, a vehicle for their socially unacceptable impulses

Shining15 · 03/05/2016 09:48

never been abused, mocked, manipulated by or bullied by a dog
You have also never been driven in a car with a dog, had it serve you in a shop or seem it reading from a newspaper. It doesn't have e kind of brain to do complex higher order things, dogs are not capable of moral decisions and so it is the height of irrationality to prefer them to humans on the grounds that they are not unkind.
This is just self indulgent and anthropomorphic

Shining15 · 03/05/2016 09:49

By a dog, not with a dog!

FarrowandBallAche · 03/05/2016 09:51

That's the thing - dogs do communicate with you. If you don't have a dog you can't understand that and it's easy to be derisive.
It's just ignorance.

My dogs aren't my ' fur babies ' I have human children but I do care about my dogs as much as I do some human people more if I'm honest.

Dogs aren't just a big or small furry moving object. They interact in many levels. My dogs pick up on my mood, whatever it may be and act appropriately to it.

They have been with me through the darkest of times.

Do not underestimate them.

Roussette · 03/05/2016 09:55

But Farrow you aren't telling me you care more for your dogs than your children are you? When push comes to shove, who would you rescue in a fire? Your children surely...

FarrowandBallAche · 03/05/2016 09:56

No. Read my post. I didn't say that.

Roussette · 03/05/2016 09:56

The dog is the owners' emissary, it does the owners dirty work, a vehicle for their socially unacceptable impulses

Blimey that's deep Shining ! I'm now looking at NDNs in a totally different way!

Roussette · 03/05/2016 09:58

Yes Farrow You said you care for your dogs as much as humans, which is the reason why I asked what you would do in a fire...

I love dogs, don't get me wrong, but dogs have a place in life and it isn't up there with humans.

Roussette · 03/05/2016 09:59

I apologise. I see your post saying some humans.

FarrowandBallAche · 03/05/2016 10:00

I care about them more than some humans.
Some humans are twats, my dogs are not.

It would be ridiculous of me to think more of a someone who behaved dispicably just because they were human.

SJL2311 · 03/05/2016 10:05

..... agreed - and while you're at it keep the kids away from me too (what a nuisance they are always whining and whinging on - such a pain). Trouble is they're mine!!

Shining15 · 03/05/2016 10:06

I agree 100% Farrow, that dogs communicate with humans, but not on an intellectual level such that we can measure them against humans and say that the dog is better because it loves unconditionally and doesnt try to exploit me.

Seems to me that dogs have the ability to tune in and respond to humans in a very particular way that many humans really enjoy.
There is a special rapport between the speed
Then again we have bred dogs and selected for characteristics which we find agreeable, dogs are kind of living toys that we have created for our own purposes.

FarrowandBallAche · 03/05/2016 10:11

Well obviously dogs can't verbalise their actions but communication doesn't have to be heard.

Shining15 · 03/05/2016 10:12

People love dogs because the dog is tuned into them, its raison d etre is to please its human

Other humans exist for their own purposes and are much more challenging, you have to compromise and negotiate with them, think strategically, it requires much more brain power.
The dog is a soothing biddable companion

Shining15 · 03/05/2016 10:15

Do you mean that the dog has thoughts but it just can't say what its thinking, so there's a kind of telepathy Farrow?

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