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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think i'm being catfished?

58 replies

dandydesmond · 27/04/2016 13:14

Have been trying online dating recently - its a first for me so naturally I'm a bit suspicious of anything that goes on there.

I've been talking to someone who seems very nice, we seem to have a lot in common and conversation has been flowing better than expected. After a week or so of messages, he asked me out for a drink on a Sunday afternoon. I agreed and we arranged both time and (public) place. However, 3 hours before the allocated meeting time, he texted to cancel, saying that his dad had been in a car crash and he had to shoot home. I didn't have any reason to be suspicious so I said I hoped he was ok and of course we could reschedule etc. All fine.

I then got radio silence for 2 days. After that 2 days he sent a text saying he was sorry for not messaging but that he hides away from the world when he's stressed. By this point I had done the usual 21st century thing and looked him up online and found his twitter account. Apparently hiding away doesn't extend to tweeting about football while his dad was apparently in hospital...

He didn't mention meeting up again for a few days - I did once and his response was something wishy-washy like "yes, we need to rearrange that at some point". I was a bit lukewarm by this point but it seemed a shame to waste what had been some effort in the texting etc so when he finally did ask to reschedule the drink I said yes and its arranged for bank holiday Monday (apparently he's busy until then). However, I suggested that we call or Skype before meeting as I was starting to wonder what was going on. he said that was totally fine and he'd call me. That was on Sunday. He had a load of excuses as to why he didn't call on Sunday and promised to call on Monday. He didn't call on Monday and said it was because he'd fallen asleep. Yesterday, he told me he was working late would definitely call me at around 10. He text me at 9 to say he was leaving work and lived just 10 mins away so would call me once he'd eaten. No texts or calls at all after that. I called him at 10.30 and it just rang out.

After that I left it. This morning I got a text saying "sorry, I was so tired I just fell asleep - didn't even have dinner". I told him the whole thing is fishy and I am now suspicious of whether he is actually who he says he is. He's adamant (by text) that he will call tonight, but I'm dubious.

AIBU to be suspicious? he appears to be an actual person. He has a twitter account and it matches his pictures etc. He also has facebook, though I don't want to add someone I haven't met. Its the phonecall issues and shock cancellation that I struggle with.

OP posts:
Goingtobeawesome · 27/04/2016 14:29

Couldn't be bothered to read all the OP so how can you be bothered to waste time over this prick? What's he's doing is testing the water to see how crap he can treat you and still get a date, laid, etc.

AnotherPrickInTheWall · 27/04/2016 14:34

Going, that is so right!
I've met a couple of men like that on OLD. The abuse starts before you even meet, unbelievable .

wrcm · 27/04/2016 14:38

30 going on 13 by the sounds of it... ditch and move on.. plenty of eligible men out there looking for something genuine.

HuskyLover1 · 27/04/2016 14:42

He's married.

But was on a dating site for titilation purposes and flirting.

Very, very common.

Time wasting idiot.

MackerelOfFact · 27/04/2016 14:43

He's lied to you, you've checked up on him on Twitter and Facebook, and you've not even met - this is not the start of an enduring love story. Forget and move on!

meddie · 27/04/2016 14:49

Move on. If he's this busy that he cant even arrange a simple drink then he's too busy for a relationship.
I have issues with his response too, seems like he's turning this round to be your fault for not being patient enough and also shutting down your ability to question any future behaviour.

MiddleClassProblem · 27/04/2016 14:52

I don't think he's married due to you being able to find his Twitter.

If you had met up with him, it sounds like he has very different ideas to you about communication so it probs wouldn't have worked anyway. Next!

phoenix1973 · 27/04/2016 15:05

Definitely a tyre kicker. Don't waste any more time on this guy.
Onwards and upwards.
Dating is a numbers game, so carry on fishing. Good luck.

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