To ask a really first world problem question about a ring

[scarednoob]

DP is buying me a ring (engagement style but without the wedding as neither of us want to get married!). I am very lucky and excited and spend a lot more breastfeeding time googling rings than perhaps I should.

I always thought that if I found someone mental enough to take me on I would want a classic solitaire on platinum. But... more and more I keep looking at fancy diamonds, esp pink ones (I am looking at vintage/pre-owned, this isn't a £100,000 stealth boast!).

AIBU to think that would be quite pretty and a bit different?

Or are coloured stones a bit tacky and would I regret it in a few years' time?

And if you have an engagement or other ring, how did you choose (or did your partner choose it him/herself)?

Sorry for the first world problem, I'm just very happy and excited!

I find diamonds really boring. My engagement ring has 2 different coloured sapphires and another different coloured stone.

I would have regretted getting a diamond solitaire, many of which look as tacky as any coloured stone ever could - it is the design and scale, not the colour, that can make something look tacky.

Congratulations on your baby.

I want to just say something about you not getting married - it really isn't just a piece of paper, you know.

Are you aware of the implications of this? Have you read any of the threads on the Relationships board?

I know you want a lovely ring but please, spend £100 more and get married, even if you don't tell anyone about it.

Ah thanks all, some gorgeous rings there. I think I will just have fun trying on a few and hopefully will know the one when we see it! I have a lovely dark green tourmaline on my right hand that was my mother's, and I've never gotten bored with that, now I come to think of it.

imperial - thank you. There are a few reasons why not, ranging from the very emotive (i don't feel like it without my DM here; that may change as time goes on) to the very brutal (I am a lot better off than DP and in my job as a property lawyer have seen some things that put me off!). We might feel differently one day, but at the moment it just doesn't feel right. When it does, we will do it!

I love Aquamarine, bit of colour without too much .

It's so mean to snipe over diamonds, solitaires or other precious coloured stones that're someone else's choice.

At the end of the day a ring is a symbol of love and a thing to take pleasure in and admire. Whatever floats your boat be it £10 or £10,000, subtle or gaudy, enjoy it and celebrate the relationship it marks.

My own story is long scared we were very young when we got engaged. DH had saved and saved and we went to the jewellry quarter and chose together. A very sweet flower shaped diamond cluster. Years down the line and it was stolen. I went without a ring for a long time and then DH decided I should have a new one as a gift for a big annniversary. Again we chose together. A very near miss was a pink diamond with a white diamond either side. It was a vintage ring and very pretty. The pink was light and delicate, a kind of salmon pink if you like. Ultimately I chose something else, but both of us still talk about the ring I nearly had and have a bit of regret.

Just go with your heart and choose something you're going to love. Congratulations

Thanks enqrique - what a shame your ring got stolen. What did you choose instead?

My tourmaline has quite a sweet story behind it - my DF had no money when my parents got engaged and bought a tiny diamond speck ring. He really wanted to get my DM an emerald, as she loved them. So for their first wedding anniversary, when he'd had a big promotion, he sauntered into the jewellers and demanded to see their finest emeralds.

Having seen the prices, he said, "hmmm. And what else do you have that's green?!"

Mine's emerald

I have a coloured stone and I get nothing but compliments for it. It's also the most beautiful ring I've ever seen.

We ended up having it made, after spending a few hours in the jewellers colouring in real diamonds to get the design right.

What about sapphire or emerald or ruby? I do think couloured stones are tacky, but each to their own.

There are plenty of cruelty-free diamonds around without buying pre-loved, btw.

Australian and Canadian diamonds, for example.

Have whatever makes you happy.

Maybe consider updating your wills now that you have a small person to think about?

Coloured stoned engagement rings are far from tacky .

IMO, white diamonds are very popular, hence why you see many rings with this stone only. I personally prefer the more unusual settings as I think a solitare can be dull (I'll repeat....can be).

Have you looked at the following?

Morganite ( a peachy coloured stone and looks nice with rose gold).

Tanzanite (a blue/purple stone, which is supposed to be rarer than diamonds)

Sapphire (this can vary from the deepest blue to a mid blue. I also have a sapphire ring that is cerise pink in colour)

Coloured diamonds (yellow/blue/pink)

Have you thought about either getting it made or looking at antique rings?

I'm also having a not engagement ring, and this is what I've told DBoyfriend I'm having

My engagement ring was a beautiful amethyst (my birth stone) with diamond set shoulders, only small as we had very little money back then. Fast forward 25 years and one of the claws was long gone and then we discovered that one of the diamonds had fallen out (not connected to the snapped claw which was on the central stone). Went to a jeweller about getting it fixed and he asked how often I wore it. When I said every day there was a long intake of breath and a, very polite, lesson in the hardness of stones. He pointed out how my amethyst was now rounded rather than faceted because it was too soft for everyday wear. Also the price to repair the ring was quite high.

DH and I ended up buying a new ring made with "fair trade" diamonds. Then, as my wedding ring had always been cheap and thin it regularly used to cut my finger if I knocked it, we had them take the gold from my wedding ring, mix it with the gold from my engagement ring and then put the remaining diamonds from my engagement ting around the band. So I have a new sturdier wedding ring but it IS still my ring that was blessed in church IYSWIM.

Diamond engagement rings are a new thing.

Mines diamond and white gold but only because I am boring and like the colourless stone. I think coloured stones are beautiful though.

What is the rest of your jewellery like? Everything I wear is CZ and silver (coz I can't be trusted with nice things) so diamond and white gold made sense for me.

Practicality is the main issue. If you can afford platinum then go for it, so much more durable than gold and won't need regular plating like my ring. How durable the setting is, as the stone doesn't matter if it falls out, except for the replacement cost. How much do you work with your hands? Do you need to think about it catching on things?

Do you like to know the meanings of things? For example I wanted a 3 stone setting because it represents yesterday, today and tomorrow. Rubies represent passion, protection and prosperity. Pink diamonds represent creativity, love and romance. So on and so forth.

Take your time, you're gonna be stuck with this thing for the rest of your life. Look at enough rings and you'll start to realise what all the ones that appeal to you have in common.

this is a fab video about engagement rings

Pffffft at coloured stones are tacky. What a stupid thing to say.

This isn't tacky.....

"Do you like to know the meanings of things? For example I wanted a 3 stone setting because it represents yesterday, today and tomorrow. Rubies represent passion, protection and prosperity. Pink diamonds represent creativity, love and romance. So on and so forth."

but this is just marketing as well as anything else

The original three stone engagement ring was designed by De Beers and was an instant classic. The three diamonds represented past, present and future love.
LINK HERE

"A Diamond Is Forever"
These four iconic words have appeared in every single De Beers advertisement since 1948, and AdAge named it the #1 slogan of the century in 1999.

Pink sapphires are purely pale rubies, until someone had the bright idea of marketing it as a pink sapphire and then it took off. A jeweller i used to work with was really sniffy about them, called them inferior rubies.

I have a 'classic' engagement ring - white gold, emerald cut diamond solitaire. It is lovely but a bit dull ... since I got an eternity ring I rarely wear the engagement ring. DH bought me a gorgeous diamond & amethyst ring for my 40th birthday ... very bling! I love it & wear that instead of the diamond when I want some sparkle.

Our 20th anniversary is coming up & I've decided to get the original ring reset with some coloured gems - probably morganite.

Personally? I think big stones are tacky - love the emerald one above - but definitely think you should have what you want to

i have a single diamond

I have 4 friends who have coloured stones in their engagement rings- one has ruby, one emerald, two have amethyst. The ruby and emerald rings are vintage and are particularly lovely. I've got my Grandmother's engagement ring which is diamonds and sapphires.

I love rings .

My engagement ring is a small solitaire. Not what I thought I'd choosevat all but it was the nicest ring within budget at the time.

19 years later I still love it for its significance, but if I ever had to choose again I'd rather have something more individual, so if that's your gut feeling now, definitely go for it.

My cousin bought his girlfriend a pink and white diamond cluster commitment ring last year, and I have another friend who wears a vintage style pink and white diamond ring in place of her engagement ring - they're both lovely and not remotely tacky.

My own favourite ring is a huge round alexandrite ring that my auntie gave me when I turned 18.

Carabos I have an identical ring to you. Although it isn't my engagement ring my DH did buy it for me and I often wear it instead of my solitaire diamond as it is so lovely.

I've got a white gold small sparkly diamond as my engagement ring.
It beautiful but I'm not wearing it at present.
Instead I'm wearing my mums engagement ring. Not sure what it is but it's beautiful and special as she passed away recently.

Coloured stones aren't tacky, nor are diamonds. I LOVE the emerald ring above.
Go with your heart and don't worry a jot about anyone else's opinion ( except OH's possibly!)