Am I being unreasonable about this letter from school re: attendance?

[HuckleberryGin]

For background- I used to be a teacher until last year, in the same trust of schools that my children attend. So I know that the Trust have been warned and under scrutiny for their attendance figures from LA and Ofsted.

Received a letter today from attendance manager with the usual "attendance is important for performance" stuff. At the end of the letter it then said that "children should not be kept off school for minor illnesses and that if parents are in doubt to send the children to school and let the school decide"

AIBU to think this is a daft policy? As it happens I do send my kids to school with straight forward colds etc. But I have also had them catch impetigo, hand, foot and mouth, D&V etc where perhaps other children aren't being kept off. Also school aren't medical professionals!

I'm contemplating an email, but need to see if IBU first!

Since when are we as parents not capable of deciding when DC aren't well enough to go in?!

I do agree with this in most cases, but we all know "that child" whose Mum keeps them at home when they have a slight sniffle, sneeze once in the morning, say they have a sore tummy or claim to be ill. My SIL was like this and her daughter's attendance was as low as 75% in her early years at Primary. Parents like that DO need to be told to send their kids into school.

I send mine unless they are genuinely ill. They also know that if they are too ill for school, they are also too ill for Xbox or any other electronics and are in for a very boring day at home. Usually prompts a miraculous recovery.

For every conscientious parent who is making decent choices about whether their children are fit for school, there's another letting their children stay off at the slightest complaint mainly because they can't be bothered to take them so it gives them an excuse, or children swinging the lead to gullible parents.
This!

Also, was the letter sent to parents of DCs whose attendance has fallen or is concerning - or has it gone to every family?

YANBU - its one of the reasons we send the children to private school.
If children are ill they need to stay at home, especially when they're little and not able to tell the teacher that they're feeling poorly.

Our family do not want some other child going in infecting mine with a bad cold virus as then we all get it - and then currently seems to cause croup in my youngest.
Teachers are not always able to asses when children are ill. I sent DS2 in borderline ill last year, with instructions to call if he got any worse, and was only called at 2.30 after he'd vomited over his BF. (this temp was 103).

I now tend to keep them off and then take them in later if they're okay.

I really dislike this unnecessary meddling in family lives, with all the other problems in society at the moment, there are much more pressing issues to deal with than small decreases in school attendance.

Parents like that DO need to be told to send their kids into school.

Well, what's to stop schools telling them? Tackling families whose children have genuinely problematic low attendance can be done without hassling families whose children attend school appropriately.

My son's school has seconded an experienced teacher to a part-time pastoral role dealing with children who have low attendance or other behavioural issues that affect their school performance. They leave the other parents alone.

It was sent to everyone.

Doesnt this just encourage parents to a send in kids who maybe have a bit of a temp and might be coming down with a bug, which then gets passed round the class?

Once we sent dd2 in when we were in doubt (she's rarely in good form in the mornings so it can be hard to tell) and she was barely in school 20 minutes before we got the call to say she's boaked in the classroom.

YANBU
I sent my son into school with a bad cough/cold when as school had said to go in, he did PE outside in the cold,it turned into severe croup and he was hospitalised.
I realise it would have happened even If I hadn't have sent him, but I may have had the chance to take him to a doc (plus he wouldn't have been running about outside) rather than him being blue lighted to hospital.
He is currently off school with a similar cough/cold not letting it happen again!!

There's a similar policy at my 2 dd's school and the kids know about it. Dd went over on her ankle and couldn't stand or walk straight. It was really swollen up and causing her pain. She insisted on going into school as she wants the 100% attendance award in July. They make such a big deal of it that the kids are petrified of missing a day. Her teacher looked after her so she wouldn't be banged into and she was allowed to rest her ankle at break and lunch. After lunchtime I received a call to collect her. She wanted to get both marks before admitting defeat and coming home where she sobbed in pain. She's very headstrong and competitive but even her teacher said that the certificate and whatever prize they muster up isn't worth the pain. My other dd has been off 4 times since September with vomiting and diarrhoea. Probably thanks to this 100% thing and parents sending ill kids in to spread their germs.
My mum is a teacher and goes down with very severe D&V at least twice a year. She has to go to work unless she's on deaths doorstep. The last time she was off ill she had a back to work interview that she said was more like a job interview.

As much as I agree some people keep their children off for the most minor reasons, I also think an over zealous approach to attendance can backfire quite massively.

The school my children attend is really, really anal about attendance. For good reason, I assume, but still. One day off results in a letter about attendance, my daughter had three days off with a stomach bug (three days in the entire school year) and I got asked to go in for a meeting about her absences...

I, personally, couldn't give two fahoojits about a letter. My children are in school regularly, and only off if I say they need to be. However, repeated letters and threats of action will scare some parents and I think this is the reason the school has so many outbreaks of flu-type viruses and stomach bugs. Already this year we've had a period of over two weeks where children were being sent home at alarming rates because a virus was spreading. I collected my son on one of those days, to be told he was one of FIFTY pupils who'd had to be sent home. There were also seven teachers off with it.

This isn't the first time it's happened, either - a couple of years ago the school was shut down entirely because so many people were ill. Point is, if you scare or intimidate people in to sending their children into school when they're not sure they should be, you end up with illness spreading like wildfire.

Yanbu, it needs to be the parents call. We keep ds off for colds and coughs as we know from experience that if we push through it he will end up with a chest infection. I'm not interested in risking his health for the sake of school attendance records.

I'll be keeping mine off if I feel they need to be off.

I think age has a lot to with it too. I wouldn't expect a five year old to cope with a heavy head cold and school at least for the first day or two - a teenager I would.

I think I'm the best person qualified to decide if my child is or is not well enough to sit in a classroom for 6 hours.

Another point to consider is small children go up and down very quickly. If they are distracted by their friends and are cheerful this doesn't mean their bodies aren't fighting and a lot of cases a quiet day in bed to see it off would suffice but when they haven't rested it ends up taking hold and taking longer to treat.

When I was pregnant (high risk) I was exposed to some "not near pregnant women" type illnesses through my work in school.

Some apparently less severe illnesses are bad news for anyone - kids or employees - with lower immunity.

The letter sounds off. We do have hcp on our staff and still never diagnose kids for parents!

Some children just get ill more than others, and therefore unfortunately need more time off school.

My eldest DC had a lot of time off school between R and Y2. They got ill a lot. Now (Y3 and end of Y2) they don't get ill very much, so they don't have a lot of time off school. DC3 doesn't get ill very much and has never needed much time off.

No problem, since it's a private school. All three are at the top of their classes, so it doesn't seem to have done much harm. A child with a high temperature is better at home - that's just common sense.

I agree, OP, and with a lot of what has been said about it not being the school's judgement call.

However, I teach piano and a lot of the children fall into two camps.

Firstly the children who come with raging temperatures, obviously ill, barely able to function who say "well I've been to school as I can't miss it". I'm sitting there praying not to catch it and thinking they would be much better in bed - they really can't concentrate.

Then I get the children who breeze in quite healthily - usually pretty frequently, and say "I've been off school today but I didn't want to miss piano." It's not just because they've recovered either, as I've had parents phone me asking for a daytime lesson as they are away from school ill.

How on earth schools write a letter that speaks to both type of parent I've no idea. There's a balance between keeping them off with a sniffle and sending them in with the plague and they will have parents at both ends of that spectrum. So I suspect, OP, that they are trying to appeal to the parent who keeps them off at the drop of a hat and not you.

What Halcyondays Said:
"Doesn't this just encourage parents to a send in kids who maybe have a bit of a temp and might be coming down with a bug, which then gets passed round the class?"

If in doubt, keep them home. Home is the best place for a sick child, and a child coming down with a virus or bacterial infection is best kept home so the whole school don't get it..

Who are the strange people making these policies?

It won't make children any smarter if they attend school with colds and viruses and headaches. Why not keep it sensible and care for them, then shortly return them without infecting the classroom with the same illness?

I'm in the US and my sons are adults now but I remember the shift from 'don't send your kids in ill' to 'bring them in no matter what'. It was all to do with attendance money and got so bad when DS2 was in high school that the school district actually told parents to bring in ill children for attendance check and then take them right home!

I think the pendulum has started swinging back the other way since there have been outbreaks of meningitis, measles, and other serious illnesses in our schools.

As an actual real life attendance officer in a primary school, I can see both sides here. You get the busy working mum who would send her child to school with an arm hanging off if she could, and then the mum who will keep her child off school for a week every time they sneeze! There's no one-rule-to-fit-all and it's inevitabley going to pee some people off. I've been both types of mum and have settled somewhere in the middle depending on what time of the month it is! The rule I have for my own children is if they have a temperature, or are expelling any form of bodily fluid (other than snot!), then they stay home. Otherwise they go to school and I'll collect them if they get worse. Ultimately, no school can take away the decision of the parent but some people do seriously take the Michael and were not allowed to single them out so unfortunately everybody takes the flack.

YABU

the letter clearly says minor illnesses and that if parents are in doubt to send the children to school and let the school decide'

So if a child has a minor illness and it's not clear to the parent whether to send them or not, the school are happy for you to send them and they will help make that decision with you.

No word of forcing children to go to school when they shouldn't. Just simple proactive advice to help parents in decision making if they need it and at the same time, hoping to positively impact attendance numbers.

And on the posts about rewarding attendance. If a child has not had a single day off school, it's quite an achievement - so rare in fact, that most schools recognise it. Why shouldn't they be rewarded? Like saying why should anyone win/be awarded/be recongnised for anything just because they're lucky enough to have good genes, higher academic capability, great physical abilities. Ridiculous statements

I hate attendance bollocks.

I had a letter at the beginning of term with regards to DD's "worrying" attendance last term. She did have a fair bit of time off, in part due to having a day or two off for D&V bugs (thanks mostly to my frequent hospital visits no doubt) and then having a savage cold where she could barely breathe. Sent her back after a couple of days because I was concerned about attendance. She then developed a horrific ear infection and was screaming through the night. Took her to the doctor who prescribed a weeks course of antibiotics, relatively standard. After a day, she was feeling much better and I phoned the school about bringing her back in and then giving her the middle of day dose of ABs. .......
Where they told me they outright refused to give them as "three times a day was every 8 hours so she can have a lot before and after school". I went mad. They should be given at EVEN intervals during WAKING hours. (6 hourly usually for most children that will sleep for 12 hours at night) So I was left with the choice of sending her to school and her not taking antibiotics properly (leading to antibiotic resilience) or keep her off for a week of school to ensure that she had the full course of ABs.

Rock and a hard place. As far as attendance awards and the like go, I refuse to let my child be made to feel bad because she's been ill, so we will give her our own treat for "attendance". Especially as she is going above and beyond what is expected of her.

Ramble ramble.

I miss how schools used to be.

The whole absence poIice thing is only affecting the reasonable parents and the couldn't care less ones will carry on anyway. I worry it's gonna end up like workplace sickness absence policy :( They are children ateotd and statistics PROVE that up to the age of around 9 children will pick up viruses/bugs etc at a much higher rate than for the rest of their lives. The government guidelines are to achieve 97% attendance. I haven't worked this out exactly but I reckon that means if they have something like 8 days off in a whole year they've missed the target!! In February I sent our DD (age 4 and in reception) into school after she had said she was feeling 'a bit poorly today' because she seemed fine and had no temperature. I told her that if she felt unwell at school she should tell her teacher. I then spoke to the teacher when I dropped her off, explained what she'd said and said I was not at work today so could they keep an eye and just ring me if she wasn't well. I had no call and went to pick her up. The second she came to the door I could tell she wasn't right :( She looked AWFULL! as soon a I held her hand I could tell she was burning up and when we got home her temperature was 39!!!!! :o She told me that she'd told the teacher 3 times she felt poorly - each time her response had been "see how you feel after storytime/break/lunch" I asked why she didn't tell her again after lunch when she still felt poorly and DD said "because I told already told her 3 times and I don't think she believed me" I can't say I blame her tbh. At 4 years old fgs - she was CLEARLY unwell! I will now be keeping her off for more minor things simply because I don't trust the school to even know when a child is ill. Kids need to catch things when they're little because their bodies need to build resistance, they then need to recover from it properly before going back as far as I'm concerned and that's what we'll be doing from now on.

The whole absence poIice thing is only affecting the reasonable parents and the couldn't care less ones will carry on anyway
Well, the ones who couldn't care less end up being fined and prosecuted.
Most parents are able to make a good judgement on when their child should be kept home, but sadly plenty don't, and it is the child who misses out. The big attendance drive is driven by data that clearly shows the lower the attendance, the poorer performance at GCSE. Schools are under huge pressure to keep attendance figures healthy.

The trouble with standardised letters is that they don't cater for every case. The schools are under pressure from the govt & ofsted to ensure attendance is over 90% .
Some schools (not many) choose to employ a nurse, which helps not only the school, but the parents by the nurse authorising absences in certain cases.
The whole system has been spoiled by the CBA attitude of some parents... (I'm sorry but 'up all night playing computer games' is poor parenting and tantamount to neglect.) Letting your kids stay home with a sniffle or headache,although your perogative,will ultimately come back to bite you on the bum,as will term time holidays if they then develop something contagious which necessitates an extended period of absence. So parents do need to weigh up how necessary it is to keep children off as opposed to dosing them up & putting a letter in/calling the school explaining they're under par but had meds & if needs be the school can call you or AN Other to collect them.
We all need to be working together for the best outcome ie to maximise attendance and learning, but without compromising the child's health and wellbeing.
It dissappoints to read 'oh fuck 'em' and 'it's my child so none of their business' as that displays a lack of understanding of the importance of attendance and the impact absences have on learning.
The schools are not the enemy,they are a vehicle to your child future.
Think carefully next time you vote or don't vote (in which case don't moan) as the government ultimately hold the strings and set the rules.
There will always be exceptions & mistakes but if you are in any doubt,the HPA have a website detailing which illnesses/diseases require staying away from school and the schools have to accept this and include it in their attendance policy.
I also find that a polite conversation is more productive than a rant at the 'messenger'!

YANBU. Our school have just made it a policy that if your child is ill eg with tummy bug they must stay at home for at least 48 hours. This is due to a horrible tummy bug doing the rounds in my classroom. Around five children vomiting one morning (Lovely start to the day. We ran out of basins!) A couple came back in the next day, and one by one more children have been taking off with the same sickness. As a teacher I am saying if your child is ill keep them at home. There are perhaps other children in their class who have compromised immune systems and won't spring back so easily when infected with a bug. Also it is a risk to school staff and their families.

Reading this thread I'm starting to understand why my children, educated abroad, seem so much healthier than their UK counterparts! At 13 and 14 neither has ever picked up a single D&V bug at school. I thought this was just down to luck but I suspect it also has something to do with parents here simply keeping ill children off school.

My DS had a sore throat with swollen glands just before the holidays - in his case this can sometimes mean a strep infection. He was well enough to go to school at a pinch, but I looked at his timetable, weighed up the risks of him spreading germs, and made the judgement that a day off would do no harm.