Am I being unreasonable about this letter from school re: attendance?

[HuckleberryGin]

For background- I used to be a teacher until last year, in the same trust of schools that my children attend. So I know that the Trust have been warned and under scrutiny for their attendance figures from LA and Ofsted.

Received a letter today from attendance manager with the usual "attendance is important for performance" stuff. At the end of the letter it then said that "children should not be kept off school for minor illnesses and that if parents are in doubt to send the children to school and let the school decide"

AIBU to think this is a daft policy? As it happens I do send my kids to school with straight forward colds etc. But I have also had them catch impetigo, hand, foot and mouth, D&V etc where perhaps other children aren't being kept off. Also school aren't medical professionals!

I'm contemplating an email, but need to see if IBU first!

Totally idiotic letter

They should really say "if your child is experiencing any D&V, has a rash or is showing signs of developing a serious illness we urge you to keep them home and , where appropriate, seek medical attention. Outwith of this, please bring your child into school and should they not perk up, we will contact you to collect"

I hear you, I really do - but I am responsible for attendance in school and as you said in your op we are under constant scrutiny and pressure to improve attendance. Maybe your child has great attendance and this wasn't aimed at you; but there are probably parents who keep their children at home more than necessary and definitely children that have so much time off for general illness that their parents are open to prosecution. If those of you who are angry about the letter have alternative suggestions for how to improve attendance I'd love to hear them.

All the schools we went to had offices staffed by Gorgons in cardigans. The thought of them deciding if I was well enough to attend makes my blood run cold: they would probably have made us all stay at school out of sheer sadism.

My sister was being nagged about her DD's attendance, so she dropped her off despite her cold not being over, and asked the office to give her Calpol at a specific time. Oh no, they said, they could not possibly administer medication, and if DD still needed it, she should be at home. Quite, said my sister, and took her home again.

Our DCs' school is big on suggesting GPs send a medical note. When we told a doctor at our surgery he didn't know whether to laugh or rant, so did both.

YANBU! I don't let my dc stay home for slight coughs, sore throats or little things like that but WILL keep them home until they've not had a high temperature needing medicine for 24 hours - sent dd in recently having given nurofen in morning as she had a headache on the understanding that she would tell teacher and I would pick up if she got worse or didn't improve. She was happy with this as she enjoys shool but said after she felt worse and the teacher wouldn't let her go home because of poor attendance due to illness previously! I've only ever kept dc off school of it would be detrimental to them or others to send them in. That is rubbish from the school, follow your instincts and keep kids home when you NEED to - ignore the school.

Other side of the coin are the parents who send in their clearly poorly children because they don't want to/can't take a day off work or it interferes with their shopping day and the poor little beasts have to sit in Reception with a sick bowl or even worse, asleep on the put-u-up in the head's office.

And Attendance Awards are the idea of the devil.

Encouraging good attendance by all means, but the if in doubt message does seem to open them up to challenge.

I just don't understand this view that "oh well its a blanket letter and not aimed at the reasonable parents"

I am sorry but this is just lazy, lazy and more lazy by the school. don't send out blanket letters. the school already know who the kids are who have poor attendance. they have the figures in front of them. send these letters to the parents concerned. target them. not everyone.

if the letter "wasn't aimed at you" then they shouldn't be sending it to you. if its in a newsletter fair enough. but it is an absolute waste of paper to write to everyone.

I hate this with an absolute passion - hundreds of letters sent out when it only applies to a few but its all about not upsetting the feckless parents who cant be bothered to get their kids to school so we all get the letter.

good management systems in the school will show who has the problem. they should be getting the letter. as for schools deciding on illness, lets wait until someone sends in a child with meningitis or similar and sues the school because they felt they were made to send them in.

I had an email from school today asking me to have a chat with my son about his 98% attendance.

I replied saying I have had a chat with him and congratulated him on his wonderful attendance

Classic communicating with the lowest common denominator type of blanket letter home.

Bin it and carry on as you were!

I've seen parents try to bring in ill kids (most memorable is the one who spewed on the way in and the mother couldn't understand why the teacher refused to accept the child who stunk of vomit)

I've sent DS in when he had a cold and by middle of the week teacher all but told me to keep him off. He wasn't himself and a whole day was probably too much for him but he wasn't ill. He is full time in preschool, attached to the actual school, and I've had a note about his attendance as he is at 92%.

He is 3.5!!!

Our local school is totally the opposite.

I was phoned at work and told to take my daughter to the doctor.

She had a bug bite that was itchy. I told them it was a big bite, and that I would be getting antihistamine cream the following day (when I had a day off).

Nope, they insisted I had to leave work and take her out of school and get her medically assessed.

Somewhere in the middle of the Ops experience and mine would be the line to take IMO.

ah bluemoonrising you mean the common sense approach. I think we are all going to get old waiting for that one!!

Let the schools decide weather or not your children are fit to be at school. I don't think so, you are the parent and you must make the decision. The school is not qualified to make any sort of decision about weather your children are to be at school if they are ill. If something happens to your child who is going be held responsible then?

3 DC's and I'm still not always sure whether to send them in or not sometimes and have occasionally made the wrong decision! I've sent one in and had to pick her up (asleep in the home corner) an hour later and kept one off only to send him in at 10am due to a miraculous recovery. Anyway how the school management think that a teacher with between 20 and 30 children in a class will have the time or experience to individually asses during the day whether a child is fit for school or not is beyond me.
The primary school HT did once suggest a few years ago that a GP letter should be brought in for any sickness period. As luck would have it at the time I worked in the NHS so casually showed the letter to the GP. 10 minutes later he made a phone call and nothing was ever mentioned about GP letters in school again..

Charming attitude to have about your child's school.

My general attitude about the school is pretty good actually. I even sent DD in to school in the holidays, very much against her will, but what they wanted. BUT today she had a migraine, I am sure at least in part due to the pressure they are putting on her over SATs. Last week I got a letter about her 'poor' attendance. Every time has been either because she is ill, in my very much better qualified than them opinion, or because she had a medical appointment. So yes, they can go fuck themselves where attendance nagging and thinking they know better than me if my child is ill or not!

Completely agree with mummymeister above.

It's not always obvious whether you should send them in, and sometimes there are practical considerations too. I send DS in, even when he seems moderately unwell, because he's a bit of a malingerer and if he really is unwell it's a 2 minute walk to get him. I keep DD off school if she says she's unwell, because she doesn't try it on, and because fetching her would involve a 2 hour round trip...

Yes you are being unreasonable. As someone who works in education, I can tell you that many many parents keep children off school for minor sniffles and several of my pupils (secondary) have even admitted to me that they tell Mum they are ill to get a day off because they don't fancy school. I have even done this myself when I was a teenager (some sort of karma having to follow this up now).

Our school has over 1000 pupils and is underfunded and short staffed. Personalising letters so as not to offend sensitive parents would be great if we had anything like the time. We do use our time to meet face to face with parents/children with long term or specific conditions so that we can customise their curriculum where needed however and know our pupils well so know if there are issues at home affecting attendance. Those families would still receive generic letters though.

We also have two medical assistants who will see pupils who are unwell and have told children to go back to class, called an ambulance and everything in between. They are not GPs but are just as qualified as the average parent. I find it fanciful to think of a school being sued for a parent sending a sick child in.

It really doesn't do children a favour to keep them at home too much, unless something like D&V or impetigo that would run rife through a school or workplace. An employer would not stand for it.

Of course I am writing this as someone who works with teenagers who do try it on rather than 5/6year olds!

I have let school decide several times.
Often mine have been up awake during the night with a high temperature but then had no temp in the morning and eaten breakfast, been chatty etc. I have sent them in explained to the teacher and asked them to send them home if they feel ill at school.
Dd recently had hand foot and mouth and I rang school to ask if I should send her in or not, she had exams and was well just had a sore mouth.

Loads of parents I know keep their child off for very minor things. Coughing at night, bit of a tummy ache etc. A child in nursery with DS was off for over two weeks because he had antibiotics for an ear infection. The Mum was moaning on FB he was bored at home because he was better but she couldn't fit the 4 doses in. They are only in for 2.5 hours a day.

We also have two medical assistants who will see pupils who are unwell and have told children to go back to class, called an ambulance and everything in between. They are not GPs but are just as qualified as the average parent. I find it fanciful to think of a school being sued for a parent sending a sick child in

They are not as qualified as ME about MY children and their conditions!

My DS cries frequently, claiming a headache. I take him in, chat to the teacher, tell her I will be nearby for about half an hour if she doesn't think he should stay after a while. I have made the call that he is OK for school and ask her to support that, which she is happy to do.

I am not daft, or a soft touch.

They school were always sending DS home with diarrhoea, even though he had never done a solid poo in his life, I know better than they do!

DD has a heart condition. They do not know better than me!

I will stick to making my own decisions about my children thank you.

Gamerchick you are so right - this is just training them up to be effective labour units who trudge in to work day after day.
No thought to care and comfort.
I'm shocked that parents are anxious when their nursery aged child misses a day. What could they possibly gain doing colouring or singing songs whilst feeling sick and miserable and no time out to shift their bugs. We have no idea what this is doing in the long term physically and mentally.

DD has a heart condition. They do not know better than me!

Absolutely. A "medical assistant" or a teacher certainly does not know better than a parent of a child with a complex or chronic health condition, or with mental health issues.

What is a "medical assistant" anyway, and what training do they have? Presumably not even a nurse, or that would be his/ her job title. A short paramedical training programme (which is what these people have most like done) does not qualify anyone to diagnose anything.

I think you shouldn't take that phrase personally, it may be there as a standard.

I will keep DS at home if he has temperature, sickness and stomach upsets, but not for simple colds (he would be off the whole of the year if I did).

I often find it surprising at how many times some people keep their children at home for any small ailment.

I would love to be able to send my kids in if there's any doubt but they have failed to respond when my kid has had a fever of 40 and said he feels unwell and 'forget' to give Dd (5) her inhaler when I've specifically asked for her to have it because her asthma is bad. Policies like this can only work if you can trust the school and I can't.

I would love to be able to send my kids in if there's any doubt but they have failed to respond when my kid has had a fever of 40 and said he feels unwell and 'forget' to give Dd (5) her inhaler when I've specifically asked for her to have it because her asthma is bad. Policies like this can only work if you can trust the school and I can't.

We have lost trust in our instincts to know when we and our children need to rest. The expectation is that we carry on with a dose of paracetamol or antibiotics. Our bodies need time to rest and recover and we need to recognise this and learn to slow down.