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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you sell your house to a registered sex offender?

160 replies

TiffanyBonj · 25/04/2016 11:36

We've got a big move coming up and thought we had the house all sorted out, we've just been informed by our agency that the possible buyer has disclosed that she is currently registered on the sex offender's list.

I was Shock . She's married with two really young kids, and seemed like a decent person, we don't know what to do now.

Are we allowed to ask her for more information? I don't know anything about the sex offender's registry, are people on their for the rest of their lives? Do you think they can change? Her being on the registry is the only reason we would turn down their offer, their's no way I would ever want to put children at risk, but is that unreasonable?

OP posts:
Vaara · 25/04/2016 12:40

Sex offenders have to live somewhere too.

I would sell.

getyourfingeroutyournose · 25/04/2016 12:45

Just to let you know, you can get on the register for being caught doing the naughty business in public... she may have just been a bit frisky and been caught out. It doesn't always involve kids and I doubt she would have her own kids with her if she were a danger to children. She just has to legally disclose it. That's also probably why they're offering more. I suspect they've been turned down many times due to her having to disclose this. Which I believe is part of being on the register. You have to inform people.

Pinkheart5915 · 25/04/2016 12:45

I'd sell.
She is married with children so is more than likely reformed. And you don't know the case about why she is on the register so I think it would be harsh to judge and not sell the house on that basic.

UnGoogleable · 25/04/2016 12:48

I am appalled that the estate agent told you this - highly inappropriate of them.

Putting aside the fact that she may not have committed offences against children for a moment. You say you're worried that by selling to her, you might be putting a child in danger. Unless you live near a school, or have neighbours with young children, or intend to live nearby with your own kids then it's completely irrelevant.

You're not putting a child in danger, the paedophile is. And if they're not living in your house, they're living somewhere else.

I once worked with a client who told me he was "on the register". I immediately googled his name, and found a news report detailing exactly what he had been charged with. It was very useful and put my mind (slightly) at rest.

blondiepigtails · 25/04/2016 12:52

My cousins son is on the sex offenders register for shagging a very willing 15 year old - he thought she was 16. He was 18 and a bit naive. Yes, it's against the law but he's not a paedophile and he's certainly not a danger to children or society in general. He just made a horrible mistake.
I think you should sell!

PointlessFriend · 25/04/2016 12:54

I wonder if you would have got the same responses had it been a man? What about a creepy looking single man rather than an apparently 'nice' mummy. Confused,

FatPaul · 25/04/2016 12:57

If the genders were reversed then yes the responses would have been much different.

FlyingScotsman · 25/04/2016 12:58

Why on earth have you been given that information????

And why do you think that suddenly it becomes your responsibility? And that you have to ascertain the risk the could pose to people around them in saying yes or no to their offer??

This is not up to yo9u to make that sort of judgement call as you have no information whatsoever.
Seen that she has the full care of two young children should put your mind at ease TBH.

FlyingScotsman · 25/04/2016 12:59

If it had been a man, married to a woman (which I understand is the case there) with two young dcs that the SS haven't removed from his care, then I would assume that 'autorities' do not see him as dangerous anymore.

WeAllHaveWings · 25/04/2016 13:00

I can understand the initial shock of being told this and wondering if you had any moral obligations once given this information.

Now you understand more about the breadth of reasons why someone would be on the register I would phone the agent up and ask them why they gave you this information, if you are missing something and is there a reason.

If they don't give an acceptable answer, ask to speak to their supervisor.

Do you think its possible they are trying to put you off this buyer for some reason?

Branleuse · 25/04/2016 13:02

shes offered to pay more. I highly doubt shes some serial rapist if shes got her own kids living with her. I would take the extra money. Shes probably an ex school teacher that shagged a 16 year old pupil or something. Not ideal, but not a threat to local security either.

Anyway, you need to sell, shes offered you the most.

WannaBe · 25/04/2016 13:10

I don't believe this.

I've bought and sold several houses over the course of my lifetime and have never been asked whether I'm on the sex offenders register. The only thing I've ever been asked is about whether there were any disputes with neighbours wrt properties we were selling, but never anything with regards to buying.

So IMO the agent is lying...

WannaBe · 25/04/2016 13:13

The other possibility of course is that the agent knows her personally and has chosen to drop in that little nugget of information to prejudice you against her.

Either way this is a business transaction, if she was on the register it's none of your business. She's presumably served a sentence for her crime and her comings and goings are for her and any potential probation officer to deal with. Business is business.

FuzzyOwl · 25/04/2016 13:15

I agree WannaBe I don't believe it either.

Pinkheart5915 · 25/04/2016 13:15

Even if it was a man I would still say sell.
Why do people always say on these threads if it was a man people would be different.
The fact social services have not removed the children would speak volumes to me.
You don't only get put on the sex offenders register for doing things to children and when you don't know the full case anyway it is a bit harsh to judge anybody male or female IMO.

Pinkheart5915 · 25/04/2016 13:18

Selling a house is a transaction, you sell to the highest bidder it's just business.

Jessbow · 25/04/2016 13:18

Before you make any decision, check that she hasn't put a cross - to indicate no ( rather than a tick to indicate yes) in a box where as she may not have needed to put anything in the box if she didn't have a conviction.

Its so easy , when filling in these long forms, to put an X to indicate NO, where you are meant to leave the box empty to indicate NO, having ticked a million and a half other boxes

Crabbitface · 25/04/2016 13:19

I am very sceptical about this. Is it possible that Estate Agent (or friend or family of EA) is one of the other offers that is substantially lower and he/she is trying to put you off the sale so you sell to them/their pal??. There was an Estate Agent who got into bother close to where I used to live. They got very quick sales, but it's because they would under value the property and then their relatives would buy them, give them a lick of paint and sell them on for their actual market value. I genuinely would not be surprised if this is the case.

I have also bought and sold a number of properties and can not remember ever being asked about any criminal convictions.

LurkingHusband · 25/04/2016 13:20

The fact social services have not removed the children would speak volumes to me.

Not everyone has such a blind faith on the decisions of social services ...

Vaara · 25/04/2016 13:20

of course sell - male or female.

You have no information on which to make a call, it is not your call to make, it's a business transaction, it is not your responsibility to keep your ex neighbourhood kids safe, even paedophiles are entitled to live somewhere, the EA should never have told you....

and myriad other reasons. You are no one who has any responsibility for any of this. Just sell the damn house.

havalina1 · 25/04/2016 13:21

I would still sell. She's a free woman with a noted crime, she's free even though her crime has been dealt with. Why judge her all over again? I'd sell.

theredjellybean · 25/04/2016 13:23

I am interested as to why the OP feels it is her responsibility ?

Knowing something about someone and not doing anything about it...for instance the OP knew her next door neighbour was abusing a child then yes there is a moral responsibility to do something ...but really selling a house ?

I am quite shocked at agent telling you, really....its not relevant to you as vendors .
Its as if they want you to act as probation/judge/jury...if as a society we are expecting people selling their houses to ensure the new owners are law abiding citizens were on earth does it end ? Say you sold and then the new owner turns out to be a drink driver with raft of convictions and knocks down a small child playing in street...are you responsible ?

When I have sold houses I have not given it one thought about who is buying it .

Its the police and probation services responsibility to ensure people are monitored and supervised in our community if they are a risk to anyone, not the general public.

BreakfastMuffin · 25/04/2016 13:24

I don't think you'd be so called 'legally' allowed to not sell to her because she's is on the SO list. She's got to live somewhere! It's just a house, and why do you need to know what it was? It's not like you're looking to hire a nanny for your kids.. I think you ABU

Crabbitface · 25/04/2016 13:28

The thing is OP - you just don't actually know if it is true or not. This could be complete slander and EXTREMELY dangerous slander at that. What if you and your husband were unhinged, vigilante types??? EA has opened himself up to a potential law suit if it isn't true. Maybe check with your solicitor if it is a requirement for an EA to disclose this info and ask them if it is true.

Cleo1303 · 25/04/2016 13:30

I have bought and sold a number of times and I have never seen that question. I would call the manager of the estate agency and ask where he saw this information or who passed it on to him. Even if it is true I am sure there are some data protection laws which must cover this.